My husband is very well endowed. My first thought upon seeing his "member" was oh my goodness, he's going to kill me with that thing! My problem is that whenever we have sex it hurts me. It doesn't matter if we "warmed up" for hours before, it always hurts, and frequently bleeds a little. We've tried different lubes, lots of before stuff, different positions, all have the same result. I am a small person, but I had always been under the impression that women were built to fit any size. Is that the problem? Am I just too small for him? I had hoped after having my daughter this problem would be fixed, but my pelvis was too small and I had to have a c-section, so it didn't change anything. Does anyone else have this problem? I think it's mostly a width thing, the length doesn't seem to bother me much in most positions. Any ideas on how to stop it from hurting?
2007-02-18 18:51:16 · 10 answers · asked by meh 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I've talked to my Dr, she thought it was pelvic floor muscles, i did what she asked, didn't change anything. It's not a problem of the length of time, even if it takes 2 minutes, it still hurts and usually bleeds. I still do it with him, but I mostly just grin and bear it. he feels bad because he knows it hurts me, but it's part of married life and we don't know what else to do.
2007-02-18 19:08:34 · update #1
Yes, I have had the same problem with my husband. Now together for almost 8 years, you can imagine...
Okay, first thing:
This is a muscle issue.
Problem is, when you have sex, you bleed a little and become sore that you most likely don't have sex again for a day or two untill some of the tenderness goes away, right?
Okay, so what you need to try and do is stretch your muscle. Yes, having a child would have done this for you (for good) but that didn't work out that way. I have never had kids, and never will, so I have to deal without that kind of help also.
You can do this in several ways.
1. excercising the PC muscle. (you can look this up online)
2. use other things (even your GYN can give you a medical insert to stretch with) (smaller than your husband) for awhile to get to the point where your adjusted to a 'normal' size (because right now, your not even at that point- with the off and on sex with over stretching, bleeding, swelling, and pain). You need to become comfortable at the normal size range so you can begin to work with your husbands size (slowly).
3. after all this, you will just have to be consistant... have sex frequently otherwise your muscle will tighten again- causing you to start this all over again. You do not want to do that.
This, mind you, is a long process.
We were okay for awhile. Really bad at other times, and at one point- just given up. Now we are having the BEST sex ever, and even in comparision to any other experience than I have had before him.
So, there is hope. Though it may seem like there is not, and Dr.'s kinda find disbelief in what you say... work on relaxing your own body and over time (long time) you will see fanstatic results. Just stay with it, it's a long process.
Good luck.
2007-02-18 20:13:44 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
At this point, after having a child, and frequent sex, if you are still uncomfortable, I suggest you see your physician. If he is unable to help you, ask him to refer you to a doctor who deals with these types of issues.
It is remotely possible that you have a thick hymen and that is the problem. It is also possible that you have a tipped uterus. It is also possible that despite "warming up" you are actually no longer sexually attracted to your husband. Only you will know this for sure. And if sex is painful, then even if you still love your husband, the fear of the pain can make you shut down and then you will not lubricate, you will not open and flower, and sex will be painful and you will find excuses to beg off even having sex. this is why it is important to spend the money to see a doctor who can help you with this matter.
The health of your marriage is at stake. leave no stone unturned.
Also, prolonged thrusting, (like if your husband has difficulty having an orgasm in a reasonable period of time, can make you sore. Even a lot of lubricant will not last forever.
Go to the sex store, (yes, it can actually be fun!) and don't be too embarrassed to ask the clerk to assist you in finding the best slippery lubricant. Tell her your problem and ask her help. Sometimes it just takes the right lubricant, and there is definitely a difference in them. some work better than other.
2007-02-18 19:03:54 · answer #2 · answered by romeoshannon 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Gosh you poor girl. We have sex to enjoy it. Go and speak to your doctor. Not that I think he will really be able to fix the problem. After having my first baby it didn't change me that much. I have had 5 now and I have really noticed the difference. If you do alot of exercise like the pelvic floor muscles it will build more muscle in the vaginal wall making it a tighter fit too.
Just talk to your doctor and just maye they can fix the problem for you both.
2007-02-18 19:02:00 · answer #3 · answered by shellhiggs07 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him he's being stupid. make certain enable him understand that you want his length and imagine its perfect. feels like he basically should be reassured, he has some self-worth subject matters. communicate it out with him about his issue and tell him he needs to end this because he's driving you loopy. also at the same time as he's probing you to respond to questions on your ex end him and tell him you're not any further going to discuss the previous. you're with him now and thats all you care about. in case you humor him and answer his questions it is going to not in any respect end and he will keep having an similar issue. placed an end to it
2016-12-04 08:57:50 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like it is a size issue . But you should go to a doctor to ask . They may find another reason . You can put some cream into your vagina to stop it hurting . Take care . I hope you can solve your pain problem .
2007-02-18 19:05:42 · answer #5 · answered by xeibeg 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have the same problem.But mine is because of me.I have a codition called edometriosis.It is a female hormonal disorder.Not much i can do about it.Just change into a comfortable position.
2007-02-18 19:04:05 · answer #6 · answered by avavu 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my ex gf used to tell me that, and she would bleed too.there was nothing she could do about it though. i too was hurting because it felt like i was always hitting a bone in her, dont know what it was. she had a small frame and we just dealt with it. sorry
2007-02-18 18:56:46 · answer #7 · answered by Dane Cruz 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like it is a size issue and unfortunately, not putting it all in won't help if it is the thickness......many women would appreciate this issue but not to the point of pain.....not sure what to say to you.....good luck
2007-02-18 18:56:31 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wish my girlfriend had that problem with me.
2007-02-18 19:19:54 · answer #9 · answered by lonmoe23 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
See your gynocologist and talk to her.
2007-02-18 18:55:27 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋