Finally, he told me he does not Love me any more, but he has not asked me to leave, He says we can stay under the same roof and every one for himself. He goes in and comes in as he likes , and am not to question where or what he does.He never calls me and does not want me to call him.
I cant leave, practically I have no where to go and more so becauseI have a Son,1 year old.I still do the Landaury and cook his meals which he des not eat most of the times.We share the same bed and once in a while even have sex,he emphasies it does not mean anything.He has not been violent till yesterday he got angry and smashed the TV.
Is there any one living like me, knowing your husband does not love yo anymore and you just cant leave? How should I behave, of course I am trying to lay a foundation for myself to be able to leave if things do not change.
2007-02-18 18:24:31 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Oh my dear, I feel very sad for you. You are in a bad spot. It sounds to me like your husband has no respect for you. I know from my own experience that it is very heartbreaking when your husband no longer loves you and wants out of the marriage, and the fact that you have a small child makes it even harder.
Do you have any family nearby? You need to get out of the situation as soon as possible. In the meantime you should stay out of his way as much as possible and do not try to start any arguments with him, or plead with him to change his mind.
It is important that you walk a fine line between respecting yourself and yet not causing him to become angry with you, because in this case, he will most likely want to be angry with you over almost anything, because then he will feel entitled to treat you the way he is doing. What ever you do, don't get mouthy or show anger. Just try to stay calm, and quiet.
In the meantime, contact the women's shelter, the crisis center, legal aid, and the welfare. Try to get on the lists of any section 8 apartment communities in your area as when your name comes up, you will get either a zero rent or almost zero rent.
If you have a friend or relative you can stay with, get out of there ASAP. The best case scenario is that if you leave, and show that you respect yourself too much to allow him to treat you this way, he may re-think things and decide he has been foolish.
The worst case scenario is that he will be glad you are gone.
If the child is his, you of course can petition the court for spousal support and child support. Legal aid may be able to help you do this, and in some states, the women's crisis center may have funds or contacts to assist you in obtaining a divorce and support.
It will be hard, but believe me, the sooner you face the music and accept the situation and move foreward the better you will like yourself and the sooner things will get better for you.
If you feel confident that he will not physically hurt you, do not continue to have sex with him. No man has ever stayed with a woman just because she has sex with him. Have some self respect for yourself. He cannot respect you if you do not respect yourself. But if you think he may abuse you if you refuse, then do it, and work to make it possible for you to leave and be on your own.
2007-02-18 18:43:32 · answer #1 · answered by romeoshannon 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
NO..no no...you CAN get away. Why are you letting yourself be used like that? He said he doesnt love you and he is making all the rules.. YOu can live here, we can have sex but it wont mean anything, you cant call me but you have to cook and clean for me. What are you a slave??
There is help for women who live in these type of situations. Get a job, put your child in day care. There are places you can go. He has never been violent but yesterday it started.
YOU CAN leave. You do not deserve to be treated like s--t, and your child most of all does not deserve to live and witness this type of behavior.
If you have friends, family ask for help its not shameful. If you dont have anyone in the world to help, there are hotlines for you to call , there are places you can go.
2007-02-18 18:35:28 · answer #2 · answered by chiara 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would immediately file for divorce and people in your situation can get welfare to take care of the child. Then your husband will have to pay child support. Why would you even consider staying in a situation like that - you need to get a backbone and stand up for yourself.
Stop sleeping with him and stop cooking his meals. He doesn't love you.
2007-02-18 18:34:02 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Man what a jerk.
I'm sorry to break it to you, but you gotta get out. I know you have nowhere to go, but there has to be a friend or a family member that you can stay with, until you can buy an appartment.
I know you don't want to leave, but imagine if that TV was your son.
There is always a way out. It isn't always the easiest way. But trust me, you gotta leave.
You are in my prayers. Good luck.
2007-02-18 18:32:55 · answer #4 · answered by Carly 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he tells you he does not love you and he comes and goes as he pleases, it is obvious that your marraige is over in his eyes. Find another place to sleep, do not have sex with him, do not cook for him, only your son, do not do his laundry. If he tells you to leave, you tell him it is just as much your house as his and that he needs to divorce you or he should move out. If he threatens to hurt you in any way file a police report. There is no reason you should have to live that way.
2007-02-18 18:33:28 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You eliminate each and everything of their rooms yet a mattress, pillow, and a conceal. No toys, no television, no something. whilst they start up up behaving they start up up incomes something decrease back. whilst they slip up they lose something. every time. this kind of habit in basic terms gets worse without intervention. If the common issues do no longer artwork (i.e. time-outs and grounding) then you could step it up. you are the make certain and you're able to be consistent. solid success.
2016-09-29 07:45:40 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would try to seek some marriage counseling or at least counseling for yourself. If things are going to continue like this file for a divorce and ask for child support and alimony (at least until you get on your feet). You do not need to be in this relationship if it is like this.
2007-02-18 22:43:53 · answer #7 · answered by kalea_kane 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My mother was in that situation. Just start prepping to leave. Get work save money and go. I know it seems insurmountable but my mother did it at 50 something so you will make it.
2007-02-18 18:38:52 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ask him to leave. And for god's sake, stop taking care of him, and stop sleeping together.
Put a plan in motion for you and your son.
2007-02-18 18:44:47 · answer #9 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Take a tektite toooo
2016-02-01 04:48:43 · answer #10 · answered by Rafiqul 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋