wrote a poem..wat do u think...help with last part...please?

Question

It's a simple question
that starts me on a life review
"why do you run?", they ask,
when i stop for a drink after my run.
But i cannot answer them
For several seconds, i sip at the bottle
and smile at their eager faces

"It makes me feel good", i reply
tossing the plastic bottle in the garbage,
glad that i can slip away without saying more.
But the question unsettles me.
the answer i provide to them
doesn't seem to ring true

Why do i run?
A runner, i have been for 3 years
and yet, i ask myself
"why, why, why do i run?"

when i run i run under my own power,
i go wherever i want
as fast as i want.
Each footstep i take, triggers a new thought.
With time i become oblivious to the footsteps,
and zone into my world.

A world where my voice is the only one heard;
a world, limitless, and where i can roam free
and do as i wish.
a world.....

Answer 1

what you want me to read the whole poem you mean.

Answer 2

i can roam free,

As a bird in it's sky; not listen to thee,
And return to this coil when the finish is past,
'Why do I run? Why is it, you don't run like me?"

It sounds like your head is screwed on enough to nail a you ending. All the best.

Answer 3

sounds nice and quite encouraging....help with the last part, see how does this sound:

A world where I can elatedly rise
And make a star

Answer 4

A world that is all mine.

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If i were u, i'd think of taking out some of the "they ask" and "i reply" 's in there. it'd sound more like a poem if you would fix those.
but...nice poem...good luck.

Answer 5

i don't like it. It is too literal for my taste, it doesn't make you think at all, or have a deeper meaning.

i would stay stick to running.