have you ever....?

Question

watched a very close friend repeatedly make the same mistake?

I have given my advice, and for a long time i was quiet about things, b/c i didn't want to hurt any feelings.... however about 4 months ago, an opportunity arose where I was able to be very honest about what I was seeing, and my friend agreed.

Today I found out that the situation has come up once again, and i feel like it will never end. I took my same stance and this time it was greeted with more of a defensive response from my friend. At this point though, I can't handle watching her get hurt or let down again... what do i do.... continue to tell her what I think, or sit back and let her make the mistake again?

Answer 1

It's hard, watching someone repeat the same mistakes. However, coming from the one who usually needs the advice, I'll tell you this: she is listening to you and she does value your opinions. She also knows that you are there for her and appreciates that. But she also needs to keep making her own decisions (and making mistakes, as the case may be) to finally change her ways.

Good luck!

Answer 2

Politely tell her your feelings, but understand that people have faults. Sometimes people do the same things over and over. Instead of seeing it as many times, see the many times as the actual problem. I watched a friend go through many broken relationships as if she was choosing the wrong guy because she knew it wouldn't last, but she still got hurt. It was a disfunction with her, not a whole buch of little episodes, but one big problem. However, you can't pick up the pieces everytime. Tell her your feelings, be there for her, but also explain that you can't keep watching this happen, so ask HOW you can help. Let her know you wont always be there so she neeeds to let you help this time and help it be the last time. Good luck

Answer 3

You're not going to change anything, She will just become more and more defensive if you continually tell her what to do.

So give her some stern looks. Tell her "You know better than to keep doing this." And then step back.

If she constantly makes the same mistake, clearly she does not consider it to be a mistake. She'll have to learn it on her own.

Answer 4

i have same problem right now and the way i see it im the only person in her life right now that isnt coming down on her or telling her what she should do her parents her man and everyone else is so i just try to be there for her and not judge at this time its hard because i just wanna yell at her do something to snap her out of it but the only person you can change is yourself and i dont want to lose her as a friend or have her hold it against me later when i need the same from her

Answer 5

I have the exact same thing going on with a friend of mine. In the 5 yrs that I know her she continually makes the same dumb mistakes. The way I handle it is not to attack her. But I definitely keep reminding her of past mistakes when it is appropriate. (If it comes up in convo or she asks me.)

Answer 6

Insanity: the act of doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.
Unfortunately you can't please everyone no matter how hard you try. Just be comforted that you did try twice rather than not trying at all. Just give her some space and let her come around in her own time.

Answer 7

I think you should continue talking to her, I've been in the same situation, but I was the one doing the mistake, I wish there was a friend to talk to me about it, maybe things have changed before it was too late,
it seems that you love your friend, don't let go.

Answer 8

I have a friend who continues to make the same mistakes over & over again.I first didnt say anything,,then I kept speaking my mind,,now I think she's just plain lazy & thoughtless & I am tired of wasting my breath so I dont say anything anymore.People change only when they want to.Well,,she can keep being that way by herself away from me.lol.

Answer 9

***HELL YEAH...I SEE THAT ALL THE TIME. I'VE REACHED THE POINT NOW WHERE I DON'T EVEN CARE. IF THEY DON'T CARE ENOUGH ABOUT THEMSELVES TO STOP MAKING THE SAME STUPID MISTAKES, THEN WHY SHOULD I CARE? THEY OBVIOUSLY AREN'T GOING TO LISTEN TO REASO, SO NOW I JUST LET THEM FALL FLAT ON THEIR FACES, BECAUSE OBVIOUSLY THAT'S WHERE THEY BELONG. I KNOW MY VIEWPOINT SOUNDS HARSH, BUT AFTER A WHILE OF SEEING THIS REPETITIVE BEHAVIOR AND HEARING THE REPETITIVE COMPLAINING ABOUT HOW THE WHOLE WORLD IS DOING THEM WRONG, YOU GET JADED.***

Answer 10

ppl dont give-up on something for few reasons.
They are not convinced what they are doing is wrong.
It has become a hard habbit for them to break.
They are sick (physical or phycological) for repeating things.

Help your freind accrodingly.
key is "talk with" being understanding rather "talk to" the freind.
Else may be what you think is wrong, its just your point of view and your freind is being nice to you and not confronting.