Day 1 Instructions
STEP 1: Breathe. All you can do is survive this first and difficult day. Take one day at a time.
STEP 2: Give yourself permission to mourn. Call in sick at work, sleep all day, eat too much ice cream, sob.
STEP 3: Congratulate yourself for being human: It is only when you open yourself to love that your heart can break. STEP 4: Develop and repeat a helpful mantra to get you through the initial shock and pain, such as "This too shall pass" or "I will survive."
Day 2 Instructions
STEP 1: Reach out to a close friend or family member. It helps to share your thoughts with others.
STEP 2: Watch a movie to distract yourself. Choose a comedy that has cheered you up in the past. Or watch a movie that's guaranteed to make you sob--it may surprise you how good that feels.
Week 1 Instructions
STEP 1: Force yourself to go out even if you are feeling despondent. Take yourself out for a cup of coffee or go on a long walk.
STEP 2: Express your emotions in a way that comes naturally. Write in a journal, paint, sculpt or play music.
STEP 3: Do daily cardiovascular exercise--the endorphins will give your spirits an immediate lift.
STEP 4: Resist the urge to call your ex. Instead, write a letter. Don't mail it.
STEP 5: Go out of town for the weekend to distance yourself from the temptation to call your ex. Visit an old friend or go back home to your roots. A change of environment does wonders for the spirit.
STEP 6: Put everything that reminds you of your ex in a box and seal it. Throw it away, donate it to charity or ask a friend to hold on to it indefinitely.
Week 2 Instructions
STEP 1: Surround yourself with friends. This may mean reaching out to people you fell out of touch with during the relationship.
STEP 2: Make lists to help you regain your confidence and identity: a list of your friends, of things you like, of what you want to accomplish in the next decade.
STEP 3: Spoil yourself: Get a new hairstyle, have a spa day or go shopping.
STEP 4: Resist the urge to call your ex.
Week 3 Instructions
STEP 1: Assess the experience. Have you learned anything about yourself? Does the experience make you more empathetic to others who've suffered a hardship?
STEP 2: Begin an activity that will fill your time, distract your mind and rebuild your confidence. Train for a marathon, take up yoga or learn a new language.
STEP 3: Resist the urge to call your ex.
STEP 4: Volunteer your time at a local homeless shelter, soup kitchen or tutoring center. It will take your mind off your own woes and keep your suffering in perspective.
Week 4 Instructions
STEP 1: Continue regular socializing and exercising. While socializing, though, make sure you don't depend on alcohol or drugs to dull the pain.
STEP 2: Call your ex if you feel it would be helpful. Resist if you merely want to say hurtful things.
STEP 3: Consider dating other people, but be wary of rebound relationships.
STEP 4: Understand that you will need to experience and process sadness, anger, guilt and fear to fully heal. Burying or ignoring these emotions will thwart the healing process. Write, cry, share the feelings with friends.
Months 3 to 6 Instructions
STEP 1: Force yourself to go on dates. You'll be surprised to discover that your heart can still flutter over someone. It's part of the healing process.
STEP 2: Consult a psychiatrist if you are experiencing symptoms of depression, such as lack of appetite, insomnia or too much sleeping, low self-esteem, and an inability to concentrate or carry out routine tasks. Ask a friend or physician to recommend one who is experienced in treating depression. STEP 3: Remember that healing is a process that takes time. Expect waves of sadness, anger, guilt or fear even after you think you are over it. Give your heart time to heal.
One year and beyond Instructions
STEP 1: Compartmentalize the experience in your memory: "My heart was broken once. It really hurt and I'm glad it's over."
STEP 2: Reach out to your ex if you want to re-establish a friendship. Do not harbor secret ambitions of winning him or her back. You'll only set yourself up for another heartbreak.
Good luck girl, I know you can get through this!
2007-02-18 16:51:15
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answer #1
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answered by cruiser 4
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2016-05-07 15:44:36
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answer #2
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answered by ? 3
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whenever we split from someone it hurts, even if the relationship wasn't all that wonderful, and being pregnant it is really hard, because u are now going into the unknown and you have no idea about your future. breaking up does involve alot of grief, and the grief process takes awhile, it isn't something we can just will to go away, it is painful. therapy can help u understand, and cope with life, also spiritual therapy may work. just be good to yourself right now, focus on the new baby, and a future. make some plans, don't blame yourself for this, and move on keeping as busy as u can right now.
2007-02-19 01:31:28
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answer #3
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answered by jude 7
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It's hard when you end something with someone you love, givin the fact that you are preg doesn't help either. But here is what I suggest. Think about that baby, don't dwell in the past move on to a better place, if not for you, then for that baby. It will get easier, surround yourself with friends and family. That's the best advice I can give. Hope it helps in some way.
2007-02-18 16:51:48
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answer #4
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answered by pamala_f 2
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Baby Girl? News of this Nature? Happens, much too often. But your Happiness, in the long Haul. Is the most important. I wish I could come, and give you the Friendlinest Hug, ever. I'm on Profile, if you need to talk to someone. I know you can make the right choices, on how to Love the Baby. Let us know, how tings are going. The Best of Love, to ya!
2007-02-18 16:53:28
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answer #5
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answered by Goggles 7
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I have been there and pregnant when i broke up too so my advice? Read "It's called a breakup Because it's broken, The smart girls breakup guide" I swear by this book! plus i just got into planning for the baby and getting into my favourite shows like smallville and other movies and i would sing to my baby in my tummy and talk as if the baby understood. That kept me happy and Busy. I have been there i know how it feels but for the baby be happy so your baby will be happy, for the record i was broken up in 2 pregnancies so i have experience.(with the same guy)
Also i visited friends and just kept moving. Good luck and rub that baby for luck for me!
2007-02-18 16:57:59
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answer #6
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answered by Anonymous
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I was watching the rachel ray show on tv her new television show and they had an episode about people breaking up and saying it is hard thing for women. They said the best things are to go on a lil vacation for yourself, go to a spa and relax, or do something that makes you feel happy and that can make you relax...best of luck! Shopping was another good one think about the baby and go shopping and try not to think about it.
2007-02-18 16:51:54
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answer #7
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answered by okalie dokalie 3
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If he,s the type of scumbag who would dump a girl on New years then go with a differnt one 1 hour later do you really thinks he,s worth crying about ? He sounds like a piece of shite to me ....hang in there you'll find a decent person sooner or later.
2016-05-24 06:21:52
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answer #8
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answered by Anonymous
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If you are able, spend some time with the girls and go be with family for a bit. Find things that make you happy and not what doesn't. Make a new friend who can help you..join a group for single moms.
2007-02-18 16:53:32
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answer #9
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answered by cares 2
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listen to sad songs, cry, talk to friends, and this is a must......go out on a date with your two new boyfriends, BEN AND JERRY!!! lol. dont be sad, i KIND OF just did that too. if you feel like you made the best decision then you did. now this is the time where you focus on yourself and finding your own life. you can do it. your a tough cookie, im sure. :)
2007-02-18 16:51:26
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answer #10
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answered by crazyskeeterboo 2
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