We're both in college and just found out we're pregnant. He wants me to get an abortion. I'm guessing I'm 3 weeks along. I never wanted to get an abortion, i think its murder and i dont believe in it. But hes not from the US and his family will never accept him having a child like this. And i'm only 21, i'm not ready for a kid and i've never been so scared in all my life. What do i do? I cant even tell my Mom or she'll freak that i'm even considering abortion.
2007-02-18 16:47:23 · 36 answers · asked by Freaked out 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Please do NOT get an abortion! If you don't stay together, give the child up for adoption. Good luck, take care.
2007-02-18 16:50:08 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
Obviously if you say that you think an abortion is murder and you dont believe in it, then there is no reason for you to think about it. There are plenty loving and caring couples in this world that for some reason or another can not have children and would love to make your baby a part of their lives. I would advise you to look into a private company that handles adoptions. You still have atleast until ur third month to decide on the abortion. Dont make a hasty conclusion from what other people what you to do. I had my first child when I was 21 and I wasn't sure I was ready. But everyday I look at my beautiful 6 year old daughter, I wouldn't give her up for the world. You will be amazed at how much it changes you... but dont cut it short... examine all your options and make an educated decision. An abortion will affect you the rest of your life as will having the child and giving it up for adoption or even keeping it. Once you see that positive on the test... no matter what you choose.. your life is already changed forever. I hope that you make the decision that is right for you and your baby and not for anyone else. Good luck.
2007-02-18 16:54:20 · answer #2 · answered by Gyrlie 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
If you don't feel that abortion is right for you, DONT DO IT. You will never forgive yourself. As scared as you are, it is not the end of the world. Your mother will understand. Even if she's upset at first, she's still your mother and will love you through it. If you are not ready to be a parent than give your baby up for adoption. If your bf is more worried about what his family thinks than taking care of you, do you really want his advice anyway? It's your body. If he didn't want this issue, he shouldn't of had sex with you. I had a child at 17, out of wedlock and of a different race than my family (and my family is prejudice - or was before my son came along). It was the hardest thing I ever did. My son is now 12 and the most amazing person. He saved my life and I am so happy that I had him. If you believe in God, than trust that God wants and plans every child. He has a purpose for your child. It may not seem like the right time for you, but he has plans that we're not always aware of!
Good luck to you, Pray about this and do what is best for YOU. People who love you truly will support you whatever you decide. Anyone who doesn't can go fly a kite!
2007-02-18 17:46:14 · answer #3 · answered by rtlsimpson 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Would you consider adoption? If you are one to not want to get and abortion and think it is murder, you may come to regret it for the rest of your life. I am not saying all do, but because of you believing abortion is murder, could you live with yourself thinking you murdered your child. I am only asking because if you do not believe in abortion then you may come to regret it later in life. If you choose to keep the child, your life will change, but know that there is help (such as income based housing, WIC, Medicaid) to provide for that child. You need someone you can talk to who is non objective. I am pro choice. Being 16 weeks pregnant I know that I could never go through that because I would feel guilt. It's a really hard decision. Just make sure the decision is right for you. I'm not telling you not to get an abortion, but I just don't want you to come to regret it later. If you choose the adoption route, you can screen the possible adoptive parents and some even have adoptions where they send you pics to see how your child is growing. All the best no matter what your decision.
2007-02-18 16:56:13 · answer #4 · answered by Kelly s 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
This is a life changing decision. Wether you keep the baby or not, it's going to be hard. So don't think just because if you decide to abort the baby, everything is going to be fine and it's gonna be a poof be gone situation. It's going to affect you in many ways that can be hard to deal with. So you need to decide what both of you want to do. But remember, you have a say because it's your body. And how is he going to tell you to abort because of an acceptance issue, but he accepted the fact to have sex with you though. Wherever you're from, if you have sex, there's a 50/50 chance that you're gonna get pregnant, so if he felt like that, he shouldn't have had sex with you point blank.
I'm not going to advise you on what path to take, but whichever path you take make sure you think it through very well and weigh your options because either way it's going to be a permanent result, you can't change the doing. But what I can say is if you are considering adoption, let a family member care for the baby or just have the baby for yourself because a lot of mothers will be a surrogate and be fine with it until they have the baby and it's a different story. So you need to talk with your partner and tell him what you want to do, because wether you keep it he's going to have to pay child support if you file it on him, so if you keep it, don't be afraid but remember it's gonna be totally different from that point on. All I can tell you is to confide in a friend or someone that you trust and get a support system going because you don't have to go through this alone. Pray about it and make sure that you're comfortable and sound in the decision that youo want to make for yourself. Hey, at least you got pregnant when you were 21, and not a teenager, but good luck to you girl.
2007-02-18 17:33:42 · answer #5 · answered by Dr. PHILlis (in training) 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At three weeks after conception, your baby's heart is already beating. You are right to believe that abortion is murder. This is not a matter of opinion, but a simple fact--every abortion kills an innocent human being. You know this. If you pay someone to harm your child, you will never forgive yourself.
I understand your fears, but ready or not, you are a mother now. Your first responsibility is not to your mother or to your boyfriend, but to the child inside you. She is depending on you for protection. This is a true test of your character. This is the time to be strong and do the right thing, even if it is hard.
If your mom would freak out to know that you are considering an abortion, that means she would most likely support you in giving birth to your child. That is a GOOD thing. Yes, she will be upset at first, but she loves you and will love her grandbaby.
You do not need to feel sorry for your boyfriend. He is a grown man and knew when he made the choice to have sex with you that a baby could result. Don't allow him to manipulate you. Statistically speaking, most relationships end after abortion. Boyfriends can come and go, but your child is your child forever. Maybe your boyfriend will come around and take responsibility, and maybe he won't. You can't control his attitude. You can only control YOUR actions, and you need to do the right thing. If you need some help, take a look at this information. It is much better that you know the truth now:
Photos and Video of Abortions, Including 1st Trimester Abortions:
http://www.abort73.com/HTML/I-A-4-video.html
http://www.cbrinfo.org/Resources/pictures.html
Information on All Aspects of Abortion:
http://Abort73.com
Photos and Facts About Prenatal Development:
http://www.justthefacts.org/clar.asp
http://www.abort73.com/HTML/I-A-2-prenatal.html
http://www.studentsforlife.uct.ac.za/foetal%20dev%20photos.html
Abortion Stories:
http://abortiontv.com/Words/truestoriesfrom-mothers.htm
http://www.abort73.com/HTML/I-G-2-testimony.html
http://www.teenbreaks.com/abortion/girlswhoaborted.cfm
Abortion Risks:
http://afterabortion.info/complic.html
http://www.abortionfacts.com/reardon/effect_of_abortion.asp
http://www.teenbreaks.com/abortion/complicationsgirls.cfm
Abortion Deaths:
http://www.lifedynamics.com/Pro-life_Group/Pro-choice_Women
http://www.afterabortion.info/news/abortiondeaths.html
http://www.lifeissues.org/ru486/deaths.htm
Free, Confidential Pregnancy Help (including referrals for financial, medical, legal, and housing assistance; free pregnancy tests and ultrasounds; free maternity and baby supplies; pregnancy, parenting, and adoption information; counseling and emotional support):
http://www.optionline.org/advantage.asp
http://www.heartbeatinternational.org/worldwide_directory.asp
Support for Pregnant College and Career Women:
http://www.nurturingnetwork.org
My thoughts and prayers are with you.
2007-02-19 02:17:51 · answer #6 · answered by Just the Facts 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Abortion is murder of an innocent human being. It is your baby, if he doesn't want to support you then send him to the curb. Tell your folks, you need the support. If you know for sure your mom won't help or be supportive, see if another family member will. Also, there are abortion alternative centers that can help with a crisis pregnancy. You don't have to be a teenager to go there. If you feel you cannot support this child and the father doesn't want to be in the picture, then consider putting the baby up for adoption. The crisis pregnancy center should help you with all that. God bless you and your baby!
2007-02-18 17:26:14 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are this against abortion then you need to not do it.... you could go into depression and have some serious regrets. Don't allow him to persuade you to get an abortion because they won't accept his child or him. I hope that you will consider adoption. How trivial does it sound saying you wouldn't give a child a chance to live because your bf's parents would get mad. I am so sorry you are in this situation but he shouldn't be asking you to do that.
Many people would love to adopt your child and give them a stable home... you could even have an open adoption so you can receive letters and pictures as they grow up. My husband and I are working with an agency and would love an open adoption .... I hope you'll consider adoption instead of ending their life.
2007-02-20 06:06:25 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your mother has done something right. Your in college and your worried about her feelings. So lets give her some credit here and go ahead and have a talk with her.
Yes, you are scared and that is normal you have a lot to sort out in a short time. Because if you choose abortion, most do this at 8 weeks.And if you took a urine test I bet you are at least 4 weeks or more.
Please go to the school counselor and see what your options are there for school. And then go to Planned Parenthood. They are wonderful. you get to talk to a license counselor and find out how far you are in one day. They helped me find a high risk doctor because I wanted my baby and had health issues. I was 93 pounds at 5ft 8inches tall.
And about the boyfriend. His family would not understand you having a baby..then they would not want an abortion i am betting.
Taking him with you to Planned Parenthood may be a good idea to. He can open up and ask questions as well.
Have hope hun things will work out. You have goals your in school and your strong enough to handle whatever you choose. Believe in yourself and talk talk talk to figure out what is best for you.
2007-02-18 17:21:08 · answer #9 · answered by charontheloose 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Abortion is something that you have to live with for the rest of your life. I think you need to consider the fact that YOU think it is murder and you don't believe in it. I would hate for you to go through the rest of your life regretting this decision. I live with the decision I had to make everyday. I'm 27 now but when I was 15 by my boyfriend. My parents gave me no other option other than have the abortion. I was still in school with no job. They said that if I didn't do it I would have to leave. I thought of everything to keep that baby. I felt like i had no other choice but o do what they said. I have regretted it everyday since and I have a lot of resentment towards my parents for giving me no other option. I feel like they forced a decision on me that I would be the one to have to deal with not them. They acted as if it was nothing to have it done. I think you and you alone need to make this decision. You should go to a Crisis Center and speak with someone about your options. I think you should reconsider speaking with you mom. You still have time to think about it. It is too soon to have one if you are only 3 weeks or that is at least what i was told. I had to wait till I was 7 1/2 weeks. Hope this helps.
2007-02-18 17:02:54 · answer #10 · answered by gasnshngrl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you don't want to abort, then don't. Get prenatal care as soon as possible and then start talking to adoption agencies. There are plenty of people out there that will help you through your pregnancy and pay for everything just for the chance to have a newborn.
My friend did this about 8 years ago. It was a really tough thing for her to go through, but in the end it was the best for everyone. Her BF didn't want the baby and she couldn't raise it on her own. She found a family who took care of EVERYTHING, and was even in the delivery room with her.
2007-02-18 16:59:58 · answer #11 · answered by Brutally Honest 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋