We've always sort of played around(if you will) we kissed and such but it was all kind of a playful "I'm bored and it's late at night" sort of thing. She told me out of the blue that she loved me and that I was irreplacable and that she misses me. Next thing you know she says that shes is coming up here just to visit me( I live in Illinois and she lives in Kentucky now) and she said that she wanted to do "something" with me. Now, keep in mind that my friend never says the word "love" and she is(as far as I know) terribly afraid of commitment. Many times when we talk she will throw out subtle hints, or mumble comments that she will not repeat if I don't hear them the first time. I'm thinking that she just wants a casual relationship....
2007-02-18 16:37:46 · 10 answers · asked by TheChicagoKid 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
A lot of times she'll tell me that she sees me as just a friend but other times she tells me differently. And shes always careful to never directly tell me that she likes me...
2007-02-18 16:52:22 · update #1
This chick is a different one than asked about in another question. Two totally diff situations...
2007-02-19 12:07:56 · update #2
I would say she is still not shore how you feel about her.She wants to be with you but she dos not want to completely reveal her self to you in fir of lousing you. In fir of rejection.Ask your self how you feel about her and let her know your hart.Cuddle with her, have some Wine and if you are attracted to her let her know.That is what she is asking you in her actions.You did not say if you were attracted to her.Are you attracted to her in the way of love or sex? Go from their.Be kind and loving, she has bin heat before and dos not want to be heart a gen.Once she has committed her self to you she will not wont to leave you,the question you should be asking your self is do you wont this commitment.If not let her know that to you it is just still a fling.I have bin told this,and because I was told this I consider them as a close Dir friend.
2007-02-18 17:23:21 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your friend seems confused: how could it be casual if she is travelling to see you & she said "I love you"? On the other hand she is afraid of commitment and mumbles subtle hints/comments to/about you.
It sounds like you have a friend who is confused about her sexuality and wants to play..experiment with you. I don't mean that in a bad way..if she's never given the slightest indication that she's gay or bi she is probably having jumbled feelings and she probably feels safe with you because she has always (as you say) been able to be affectionate with you ("playing around (if you will) we kissed and such...").
I had a similar experience years ago except that one day we went all the way. Our friendshhip was NEVER the same after that..it fell apart. And I really missed that girl. Everything was okely-dokely when we just cuddled under the blankets or held hands and kissed on the street..it was all very innocent (plus I live in NYC in The East Village..no strangers to bi or gay couples). But once it got serious it all went haywire..I don' think she knew what she really wanted beyond the kissing and cuddling and we never talked about it..in the end, she hated me and we got into a fight ending with me knocked out on the sidewalk and her jumping into a taxi. I never saw her again.
So..if you want to keep this friend of yours exactly that..FRIENDS... I suggest you politely tell her how you feel. ..And maybe you want to explore YOUR sexuality but don't do it with her...friendships & sex... especially gay sex could create unneeded issues that would undoubtely cause a TON of stress and unneeded friction in the relationship.
Of course, maybe you want just a "casual relationship" but if that is the case I don't think your friendship would last..you'd have a girlfriend/ partner instead of just a friend with whom you kiss and cuddle. Sex, " I love you", and her travelling to see you sounds pretty serious on her part. No, I don't think she is thinking of a casual relationship. But I do think she is coming to you because you make her feel safe.
I suggest you think long and hard about the pros and cons of having a romantic relationship with your friend and then make a choice based on your list.You can still be friends (I hope) and if she doesn't like or want to hear your point of view..well..what kind of a relationship is based on demands or not hearing the other person's feelings?
I hope things work out for the best.
:D
2007-02-19 01:19:57 · answer #2 · answered by uberbitch9 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
To me personally to start of, i think a casual relationship is better than nothing. But then as time goes on you will get to see if you want a serious relationship with her or not. Its best to go slow first.
2007-02-19 00:42:20 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i'd be careful about a casual sex arrangement. it could hurt your feelings and you will want more than she is willing to give you.
you give more details here than your last question, so sounds like you have already rekindled the friendship and sounds like she is indeed interested in you in a sexual way..
guess you need to decide if you are happy with her casual arrangement or if you only wanna get sexual in the context of a serious relationship.
2007-02-19 01:46:36 · answer #4 · answered by Jeff 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I mean you have been very close for a long time i assume and you both are close. I mean straight girls who have guy friends sometimes sleep together. I really dont think its a bad thing because you both are close and good friends. Just really ask yourself how would i feel if our relationship went further then friendship? And tell her how you feel about it.
2007-02-19 09:03:51 · answer #5 · answered by meg r 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
okay, you need to ask her if she wants to go out with you. she might just be shy about asking you out, or showing emotional affection, fearing you might want that "casual relationship" as well. do yourself a favor and just get that akward conversation out of the way and move on with your relationship.
2007-02-19 00:51:27 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her that you want a straight up response, Tell her how you feel and what you want from a relationship.
2007-02-19 00:44:10 · answer #7 · answered by crystal89431 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's afraid of commitment? So don't push her.......yet. Let her think that she's calling the shots.
2007-02-19 00:59:08 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Explore this relationship and learn what her and your motives are.Peace!!
2007-02-19 01:15:31 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
WHY ARE GUYS SOO STUPID!!??? stop it!!! theres nothing to even answer the ***** loves you and your going to have sex with her...if you love her too then go from there if not then just take the sex gesh!!
2007-02-19 00:42:18 · answer #10 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 3⤋