Do you know of anyone that marriage counselling actually worked for?

Question

Does it actually work? Either spiritual counselling or with a therapist. My mother has moved out and wants a divorce. I want to encourage my parents go to a councillor, but a few couples I know that have gone through marriage counselling are no longer together. If there is a chance that it might save their marriage, I can and will push them to see one.

Answer 1

There are 4 divorces in my family and all 4 have gone through "marriage counseling". The other marriages (in my world) have gone through rough patches but didn't go through counseling and are still in the marriage. To me it doesn't sound like counseling works, but still it's an option to try before divorce.

Answer 2

Marriage counseling does work if you go to the right counselor. I use my pastor for when me and my hubby were having problems. Plus I didn't have to pay a dime either. I don't know what your problems are but there is nothing God can't handle or take care of if you are having marital problems. I also started reading a the book the Bait of Satan by John Bevere, a Chrisian based book that helps Christians and non a like learn to let go and let God do his thing. I am not trying to preach to you I am just trying to say give it another chance it will eventually work. Marriage is a sacred thing and can be a blessing in life but it takes work.

Answer 3

Yes; I used to do marriage counseling. it works when BOTH parties are committed to making it work, and will work at compromise.
It does NOT result in reconciliation if one of the two parties is resolved to break up the marriage.
Trust is a major factor in a marriage, and when the trust bond is continually broken, there can be little hope, nay reason for, reconciliation.
On the other hand, counseling for the emotionally injured party can help that person come to grips with the reality of the break up, and can thus be very helpful.

Answer 4

Therapists talk enough about communication that you'd think we were born incapable of expressing ourselves. Actually, most of us can express ourselves pretty well. But do we do it effectively enough? When there is an argument, it's the rare member of the couple who does not know the other is mad or upset. But does their partner know why, really?
The main problem in couples communication comes, remarkably enough, from the almost universal assumption that our partner knows what we are thinking and feeling, without our having to explicitly express it.
The point of communication as an issue in couples therapy is to establish a new, different mode of communication that becomes only one of a number of ways of relating and expressing oneself. An argument may be the only way to let feelings out... initially. What makes communication-savvy partners more effective in their relationship is their ability to communicate after the argument phase is over... their feelings of vulnerability, their hurt, their expectations and hopes -- in essence, everything that didn't get expressed during the argument.
It is notoriously difficult to get two people to agree on certain things. This is especially true if they have been arguing, and have come to see their partner as an adversary. Relationship counseling can help restore a way of dialogue and mutual empathic understanding that can help heal wounded relationships. But often, and understandably, one or the other partner doesn't want to come to couples therapy, or feels threatened by it.

Personally it didn't work for me, neither one of us was willing to listen one another. But I am happily divorced and has made me a better person and mother being on my own. I have gained self-esteem and a better understanding of relationships.

Answer 5

Conflict or anger itself does not have to cause an irreparable rift between partners. With good communication skills and a shared commitment to a marriage, even these are surmountable. How to save your marriage https://tr.im/NLfRg

However, at that point where one partner is at the brink of abandoning the relationship, how can the remaining partner save their marriage? If you are at the point where your spouse has asked for a divorce, what can you do?

You must realize first that, you do have a choice. Often, when confronted by a crisis, we find ourselves backed into a corner thinking we have no choice in the matter. How can we change the situation when it involves another person's feelings or decisions? While we cannot, must not and in no way manipulate, blackmail or threaten our partner into changing their mind, we can actually control how we react to the situation. If anything, you must realize that you still have control over yourself. You have the opportunity to look inward and take responsibility for your own feelings and actions and even have the chance to take personal inventory of what your partner is trying to tell you. Are there points in your marriage that must be changed? If so, respond appropriately and proactively.

Answer 6

Yes it can work; however, it requires both parties to acknowledge that they are part of the "problem." The best definiton of insanity I know is to continue to do the same thing and expect different results. In addition to modifying their thinking, and hence their behavior, each party has to choose to forgive their partner for prior behaviors which enables them to start fresh.

Any successful marriage is a cooperative friendship. If either of your parents is unwilling to see their part in the breakdown of this friendship, counseling won't work.

Therapists don't have magic wands to transform people. All they can do is objectively observe the process between two people and try to help them see where they are getting stuck. The individuals in the marriage have to want to make changes and re-make their relationship.

Answer 7

It worked for my husband and I. I had had enough and wanted him out. He begged me to go for marriage counselling and here we are three years later happy as we have ever been. But it only works if you want it to work. Some times a marriage is past saving.

Best of luck

Answer 8

Counseling does work. Even if the couple ends up not staying together, counseling helps them sort out things they are uncertain about.Many times couples struggle with not knowing the best thing to do.Or not knowing if they want to stay in the relationship or leave it. So whether they stay or leave, counseling helps them to make good decisions.

Answer 9

Marriage counseling works if both parties are willing to give 100% to make their marriage work.

Answer 10

Didn't work for me twice. My wife just biatched up a storm for 9 sessions about me, my family, my this and that. When it was my turn to finally talk, whe decided it really wasn't doing anything for our marraige.
Second go-round, the same thing, except I did interject my concerns and all she did was cry. Found out no one has ever criticized her or told her she was wrong while growing up.
Today I wish we could divorce because we don't talk to each other and our kids will suffer because of it.
Take a look at what goes on in your house. It may suck to have your parents split up but will your life be any better? Or do you want them to stay together and hate every minute of their marraige?