Was I wrong for calling the police on my bf?

Question

My bf and I have been arguing a lot lately. I keep catching him in lies and we havent been getting along too well. His work is slow so he hasnt been contributing financially to the house. However he is doing a lot of home improvements. Last night we got into an argument and I told him to stay across the room from me because I was afraid of him. He has been showing signs of violence, grabbing my arm and pulling me down the stairs, preventing my from leaving by blocking the door, pushing me, talking bad, mimiking me, belittling me etc. Well during the argument which was about him lieing to me again he ran at me and I ran into the next room. I told him to back off or I was going to call the police. He said go ahead and call and had me against the wall and was screaming at me. He didnt hit me but I was afraid and called 911, but hung up b4 they answered. They sent an officer anyway. He didnt get arrested, now blames me. Was I wrong, did I overreact? He thinks I was totally wrong

Answer 1

No. Actually you're underreacting. He needs to leave...NOW! He's being a bully and he knows it. Why are you allowing him to stay? You're not getting along, he's being a bum and now he's taking to slamming you against walls. There's no reason for physical violence in a relationship. If you allow him to stay, get ready for him to smack you one day. He's already working his way up to it and now he's trying to guilt trip you because you called the cops on him. If a stranger had done this to you, you would've called the cops, right? The same goes for him. He's not above the law and he's not suppose to push you around. No one has that right. I say boot his butt out the door and don't look back. You can do better.

Answer 2

Honey....I spk from exp when i say "leave now".....You may wake up in five yrs and say OH MY GOD I am 27 have two children and have wasted my life on a man who has no respect for me OR YOU MAY NOT WAKE UP AT ALL. I tell any female in a bad relationship watch courttv a few times and you will understand what I mean. Believe me when I say '' leave now" while you still can. There are some crazy people in this world. Ask yourself If you didn't have a job or your work was slow who would pay your way... We as women need to exercise our rights that our fellow American women have worked so hard for, we have the right to stand on our own, be independent, go to school, be happy. The whole pregnant in the summer and barefoot in the winter is OVER!!!

Don't get me wrong it is ezer to give advice then take it. I spent five yrs in a very bad relationship. When I finally left I had thoughts of going bk when a very good friend of mine left me w/ some words of advice "do you want to waste 5 more yrs of your life? will you leave again in 10 yrs if you do, you will be 10 yrs older and nearing your 40's, by then you will have spent your entire life in a shell not really living at all!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 3

You did the right thing. Situations like this often get worse over time and if you are afraid it's best to have help. I realize what I'm about to say is not part of your question, but if there is violence and a lack of trust in any relationship, it would be wise to find another bf. Love never lies and is never violent. Think about it because it is your life and happiness in the balance...

Answer 4

No I think you did the right thing, if he is showing signs of abuse then its better to be safe then sorry. If he hits or abuses you in any way that is not normal and he needs to get hurt. I have seen to many movies on lifetime for women which most of them are true stories and the women don't call the police and end up getting hurt, if you feel uncomfortable or he is hitting you call the police, or get him help.

Answer 5

If you were afraid for your life, then get away from him. His violent behaviour will only get worse. I think you were in the right to call the police. If you call the police on him again, then don't hang up and tell them that your boyfriend is scaring you. To the point that you are afraid for your life. BUT, you must get away from him and don't look back.

Answer 6

omg, you need to leave and quick. I was in a similar situation with the lying and verbal/ somewhat physical abuse and the reason he would always get so mad when i confronted him about lying was b/c he was lying. Girl listen to your intuitions...your bf is lying to you, verbally and physically abusing you, and trying to blame all his stupid actions on you. That does not sound like a man. LEAVE, or at least if you decide to stay (stupid decision) send him to jail the next time this happens (b/c it will happen again)

Answer 7

You did the right thing, no doubt about it. Now be smart and get away from him and stay away. Abusers only get worse.

Of course he thinks you were wrong. Abusers always blame their problems on their victims. Next he will say that it is your fault for making him hurt you. That's the way they operate. Get smart. Get out.

Answer 8

Miss you are in an abusive relationship and you MUST get out of it. Normal people do not hurt/abuse the people they love. That is NOT how love works. You should have pressed charges against him. You were in the right and he was in the wrong. Get out of that house this very minute!

Answer 9

You probably were going to be physicaly abused. You were right to call. It's hard, I know, but try and clear your consionce (if I could spell.....) You need to stay away from him, he's not safe, and not worth your time. Move on, find someone who won't be violent.

Answer 10

you weren't wrong at all. you're in an abusive relationship, and you need to get out. before he actually DOES hurt you, break up with him! any man that is putting his hands on you in that way, grabbing you, threatening you, etc....is someone that you shouldn't be around.