I am so lost..Please help..Update!?

Question

Well, me and my fiance broke up almost 3 weeks ago and he moved 2000 miles away and I'm pregnant. I thought we might get back together and tonight he calls and everything was ok...then I asked him if he was dating anyone and he said it doesn't matter...but he asked me first. Then I told him something mean..That he doesn't deserve his baby and he went off..Saying all kind of mean ****..Then he said that we will NEVER get back together and he will always be atleast 1000 miles away from me..This relationship was 7 years and he said he was happy until Dec 31st. He said I complained about my engaged ring which he didn't even pick out...anyhow..I am very lost. I know I should throw the towel in and he says he loves me. His daddy talked him into moving up there for a job and he has no family down here. He just contradicts himself. Should I just give him space and not pick up his calls for awhile? To see what he is missing..

I don't want to give up because we have so much history and a baby on the way..Our relationship was fine until he moved..I am just lost. The only family he has up there is his dad who walked out on him when he was a baby so I am sure he has nothing good to say to him and he says he is still in love with me...any advice would be good! Thanks..

I didn't complain about the ring..He said I did...and he has never treated me that way before until tonight..With saying mean things.

Answer 1

I'm so sorry to hear you are in this position but you are not alone. So many girls have to raise their babies alone and do a pretty good job of it. I know you are scared but it will all work out ok in the end. My first husband died and left me with 2 little ones and I thought I'd just die with him but I didn't. You have to go through a grief process just as if he has died because a relationship has passed away and that is just as hard to deal with. Do you have a strong support system? If you don't, be working on getting one put together. It can be family members, close friends, professionals in the clinic where you will be seen for your pregnancy. You will probably need social services while you are not able to work after the baby is born and they have social workers that will help you get your life together. I'm a pretty spiritual person so I'd be getting support from my church and also praying for God's help. In the time after my 21 year old husband died is when I realized how much I needed God and he was right beside me when I needed help that was outside the realm of what a human could do. I really got to see some miracles during a time that should have been the worst in my life. If you are not going to be able to keep your baby, finding adoptive parents is a good step early on as they can usually help with some expenses. Birthright is a good organization to turn to for help if you are keeping your baby. They will give you a baby bed and a layette that is really nice. I wish you lived close to me here in Kansas as I have helped girls before in your situation and would be there for you. Life is hard and you need all the help you can get to get thru it successfully. As to not answering your boy friend's calls, I would not do that. That is game playing and is never productive. He is going to be the father or that child forever and I'd be doing what I can to get along. He will have legal issues as far as being resposible for medical bills and child support. It would be nice if he could be your friend if not your lover. I know that is asking a lot but it doesn't have to happen today or tomorrow. You have plenty of time to work things out even if it is never the relationship you want. A less than perfect relationship is still a relationship. I am just assuming you won't abort this precious child. If you don't want it there are plenty of people who do. My oldest son and his wife lost their baby this weekend. They've been married for seven years and finally got pregnant and lost it at 7 1/2 weeks. We are pretty sad but they will keep on trying. This is the first time they actually got pregnant and it is good to know that they can. If there is anyway I can be of help, email me at moonrose777 @yahoo.com I'm not suggesting you give my kids your baby as they want to try for their own before turning to adoption but plenty of other wonderful people would give it lots of love. Remember that you have the beginning of a support system in that you have me and God on your team already. I'm going to ask my prayer group to start praying for you tonight. If you need to talk you can email me with a phone # as I have unlimited calling and I'm almost always home and up late at night due to a medical problem that keeps me from sleeping. You would probably like to talk to my daughter in NE, too. Her first two babies were born 11 months to the day apart and her husband left her the day she told him she was pregnant again which he had said he wanted the two to be born close together. Nice guy, huh? She's been through a lot and now her girls are 19 nd 20 so you can survive this mess. As for him needing space, what he really needs is a kick in the ***. If one of my boys did a girl this way I kick it alright. I'd kick him clear to Sunday and back. I really care about you and want to know how this turns out and if I can be of help. I have eight grandchildren and would love to have yours call me granny. LOL Blessings Gayla

Answer 2

Sounds like he freaked out about the responsibility of being a father. Was he expecting that news? Did you ever discuss it? It doesn't matter now, because the law is he has to pay support. First things first. Protect your child. Get the support you need to take the best of care of that baby. I think the ring thing is just an excuse. Don't play calling/not calling games. Get clear about your side of the street and apologize if you went off and got all emotional. Then start taking responsibility and find the strength in you to be a great mom.....that way you will be in a better position if you are alone and a great position if he comes back. But you can't live your life based on waiting for him to make the next move, especially with a baby on the way. Best of luck to you. And Congratulations....remember babies are always blessings.

Answer 3

Umm, thats a hard one. I'm not in your shoes, but I think I would just let it alone and see what happens.

I'm going to say this, and I don't know you, but reading between the lines. It sounds like he probably misses you, thats why he called. But your mouth pisses him off, you say things to hurt him..when you should just learn to keep your mouth quiet and listen. Dangling an unborn baby in front of his nose isn't right either....I would rather raise a child by myself than in a relationship that is bound to end sooner or later....

And it sounds like your relationship wasn't all the great to start with, besides..why ***** about an engagement ring, it shouldn't matter who picked it out, he did buy it, right? To me..thats wrong, its selfish, and you shouldn't have said it.

Answer 4

If he left then he has already made a decision for you. If he really thought your relationship was worth something he wouldn't have left. I think you might find there was more to cause his behavior than you might possibly know. Regardless of the amount of history you have with him, let him alone for awhile to see if he matures a bit. A real man doesn't run away from responsibility - a boy does!

Answer 5

A baby needs to be born into a happy family, and you are it's family. If he's cursing and acting all immature, your baby does not need this nor you. Actions speak louder words and he moved away. Don't play games. Call your family and friends for support. Doesn't sound like he will.

Answer 6

Your question is all over the place. Do you really expect him to be nice to you if you tell him mean things and complain about the ring? Grow up and discover what you really want out of life. Stop being bitchy and maybe you will get a decent man to be with.♪

Answer 7

Please think of your baby first. He moved away, that should tell you something. Give him the space he obviously wants, and don't call him. Don't even listen to his messages. Take good care of yourself. That is the best revenge.