My dad is about to get married again but the thing is he doesnt know that the she is a bad person.?

Question

actually he does know but keeps saying "that was the past, she'll change after marriage. what should i do? no matter what i tell him he just throws it off but acts like he wants my opinion. my soon to be stepmom cheated on her previous husband and takes drugs. i dont know what to do. help!

Answer 1

Your father is in denial....love makes a person blind sometimes. He is very naive to think marriage changes a person...hey, there were probably reasons why she cheated on her first husband, but if she takes drugs, then your father is in for one hell of a time. You can never trust a drug addict. I dont know what you can do because if your father doesnt want to see the truth, then there isnt a lot you can do. Hes got to be open to the truth for anything positive to happen. I guess the only thing you can do, as hard as it is going to be, is let your father experience it for himself, because that is the only way he will come to terms with the truth. Maybe get him to speak to a drug and alcohol counsellor ot let him know how the mind of a drug addicted person works.....the bottom line is...love is blind...its not a cliche, its true....just be there when your father falls, because if he is in love with a drug addict...he will fall.

I really feel for your situation....I wish you luck, you are going to need it.....because your father is not looking at logic...and his decisions are based totally on emotions, he may have to find out the hard way.

Answer 2

I'm sorry for your loss. Having a parent "move on" is difficult, and surely you must be feeling some emotion about your father's choice to "reinvent himself." His wife may not be what you like, but she is "his choice," and it is important to honor that. First of all, an apology to his wife is in order. Invite your father's wife to tea, and have a woman to woman talk. You may explain that you are still grieving (if this is the case) but you are happy with your father's choice. Second, have an outing with your dad, and apologize to him for your behavior, and tell him that you never will pull another stunt like that again. Interference is not honest...it's the age old pitting one against the other routine. Tell Dad that it's not going to be the same without mom, because you still miss her a whole lot. Supporting your father is part of your job as a daughter, no matter whom he marries. It's his business. Don't put anyone in the way of your and your father's relationship. Brave deeds, this is the only way that I can best see that you get yourself out of this snafu. This is your family, for God's sake. Don't let annoyances get in the way of the people that matter the most in the world! All the best.

Answer 3

Nothing you can do...It's up to your father to realize this. You can only give you opinions. Tell you dad that you won't support his marriage if he does marry her..then maybe he'll take you seriously. Maybe she changed, maybe your father is just forgiving. You need to have a serious talk with your father if you're that concerned. Many times parents can be so self involved, and blind. I know you just want to protect your father from being hurt. I guess you have to be there for him and him only just in case something does happen. I doubt marriage changes someone completely. I doubt the ring and dress are that powerful to change the behavior of someone.

Good luck love,
-.-'

Answer 4

Have you talked about this with any other relatives or friends of your dad's? I imagine if they knew what was going on with him they would want to help. I would approach your dad with other family and friends. They can all express their concerns and then its not just your personal opinion that your dad is hearing. During this meeting with friends and family, I would tell your dad how this situation is affecting you. Obviously you are under stress, maybe you feel like this situation is negatively impacting your relationship with him. I'm sure he loves you and would want to know. Good luck!

Answer 5

Your dad should know well enough that change is never guarenteed. If she isn't changed now, she probably wont. She isn't going to say "I do" and suddenly become Mary Poppins. But he doesn't sound like he really cares. Maybe he is just terribly lonely and willing to take whatever he can get.
Keep trying, but be supportive of him if all else fails. He is going to need you.

Answer 6

Ask your dad if you were in his shoes what would he tell you to do.

If she has cheated on her previous husband and takes drugs; she should be tested for HIV and other Diseases.

He knows what she has done, or does. The decision is up to him.

Good Luck

Answer 7

The fact is people do not change, and you have every right to worry as you love your Dad. I would keep working on him about it...try and have a heart to heart with him (many of these), he may push you aside, but be persistent and put the questions he is scared of asking himself into his head.

Answer 8

I don't know if there is anything you can do about that. Your dad thinks she is going to make him happy and I don't know if there is anything that can change his mind at this time. Maybe she is truly going to change her ways. If she won't, then your dad will realize his mistake sooner or later and will leave her for good.

Answer 9

If he wants to make a mistake, it is his life. Try and talk to him and let him know how worried you are. Maybe he will listen.

Answer 10

All you really can do is be supportive. Your father is going to have to see what happens after the wedding.