When a couple dates prior to marriage, they can't stay away from each other, they want to be together, talk, listen to each other but after a few years of marriage it seems one or the other turns off. Keeping the romance alive is important so why don't couples work harder at it? I'm older but I still believe in romance. Any suggestions as to what happens or how it can be revived?
2007-02-18 15:21:57 · 7 answers · asked by grandmabonnie 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I was married for 26 yrs the first time and have been married 8 yrs in this marriage. We have had alot of stressors but God is a part of our lives. I guess I am a romantic at heart. I agree with what most have said and see nothing wrong with keeping the romance alive, I'm 58 yrs old and even with my health problems I don't feel like the romance should ever end in a marriage - I was married to a very controlling man the first time but this time has not been like that but still the romance has sort of flickered. It's too long to tell all. If you are young don't forget to tell your husband/wife that you love your spouse on a daily basis. That is one thing we do. I appreciate all the answers recieved, there could have been more than one best answer.
2007-02-20 16:42:25 · update #1
We have been married for over 22 years and I believe what keeps a married together along with romance, is having God in your lifes. If you don't then don't expect things to work out for you. So find a church and give your heart to Jesus, and if you already go to church then you should really consider rededicating your life because you've been going to be seen of men (name in the row book) and not to letting God in your life. I know I'm right because it has workd for me.
2007-02-18 15:33:00 · answer #1 · answered by bear4141usa 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I truly believe that it happens because of the pressures of life. Being preoccupied with the many things in life seems to take the focus of what's really important from our minds. Communication at night while holding each other is the most important thing in a marriage. I also think this goes away because most people use the words i love you to let the other know they are interested in having sex. I listen to people talk and the majority of them have no idea what it means to truly love. I'm 46 years old and i have never experienced the feeling of being loved. But i can tell you more than the so called experts because i've had all my life to watch, imagine what it would be to have the opportunity other people take for granted and throw away everyday.I wasn't born a handsome man that the girls love so i try to deal with it in my own way. A good old fashioned walk in the rain holding hands and letting the other person know what you're missing is the best way i think to revive a relationship. Good luck !
2007-02-18 23:52:17 · answer #2 · answered by mikey 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Because you grow into something better I think. I love being able to sit in a room with my husband and not have to say a word and be totally happy. We are comfortable. If I came home and there were roses all around and all that stuff I would wonder who broke into my house. lol
My husband unloading the dishwasher and washing my car is romantic to me. He's showing me he loves me and cares about our family when he does things like that. I don't need roses and candles and glitter etc to feel loved and appreciated so that's probably why it looks like couples like us have lost something but really, that's what love and marriage are about. And why does our romance or special things we do for each other have to be out in the open? Sometimes, even a little note in the shower for no one else to see is enough.
Maybe you should stop and look at things a little differently. Snap out of the cookie cutter romance the movies and media set up for you. Having someone there to hold your head over the bowl when you're sick is true love..lol
2007-02-18 23:43:39 · answer #3 · answered by BrutalBaby 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Romance is an unrealistic ideal. It's not sustainable, and it provides nothing practical.
Now, I'm not downing romance. What person doesn't love it? But people look for romance in grandiose acts like flowers, dinner, etc. They should instead be looking at the small things that the other person does instead of looking for big things. I love it when my boyfriend gets me my drink at fast food restaurants. It's the simplest thing, but it's nice that he does that for me.
My boyfriend (we're in our late 20s/early 30s and have been together for nearly four years) will eventually become my husband, so we're living like we are married already. And I've learned that he's just not a flowers/dinner/sweet talk kind of guy. He expresses himself in small ways, and I've come to realize that romance is for wooing, not for lasting relationships. :)
Hope that makes sense.
2007-02-18 23:27:35 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
My husband and I went through the same thing...and I think that it comes from the usual routine of things...
I find that talking about my day and issues..."emptying my cup"....helps before we are intimate...because it makes me feel revived in our communication...and that our intimacy isn't just forced...
And then, I find that dating helps also....it keeps our friendship alive....
And, sending sexy emails or playing tag around that house...sparks intimacy also....
Marriage is work...and sometimes we have got to be creative to keep our "fun" and "romance" going....
Also, I pray about what his needs are, so that I can meet them...and be more in tune to what validates and affirms him...and when he feels good, he can't stay away from me....
2007-02-18 23:28:20 · answer #5 · answered by LIFECOACH 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Because the best cure for love is marriage.
That's marriage, it has ups and downs, take them as they come.....you're not always going to like, even feel love for your spouse, but sticking with it, the long term enduring marriage is the best romance of it all.
2007-02-18 23:25:44 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
you need to keep things fresh...in marriage the lifestyle becomes mundane...in order to revive life in the marriage you need to act like you are single...but just with him/her.
2007-02-18 23:28:15 · answer #7 · answered by fade_this_rally 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋