Is it possible that a lesbian could have really been straight?

Question

I have recently worked with a lesbian whose lover made her quit. The problem started when the lover started working with us. You see for a few years now I have watched how this lady and male co-worker bonded. Their was no doubt in my mind that she was attracted to him. She on the other hand openly stated her hate for men. She even confided in me about how her uncle time and time again had raped her and when she told her druken father he beat her black and blue. She is very masculine and has no desire to be with men but I could always feel the chemistry between the two and It always made me wonder until her partner started working with us. Within 2 weeks she quit stating that it was causing a strain on her relationship The guy offered her to move in with him and I could tell that she was considering it and then she came back after lunch and was really mean to him and the rest of us. If you are gay do not take this the wrong way. It is just bothering me

Answer 1

She might have been straight:

So honestly, I think it's possible. There are girls who just plain like girls, and also (quite unfortunately) i KNOW there are women who look to other women for love because they are experimenting or rebelling, or have been abused by men, etc. It certainly seems that with her history, your (ex) co-worker falls into the latter category.

Thanks to her father and uncle (whose rectums i would love to introduce to the business end of an over-sized strap-on by the name of "karma") i don't think she's likely to have a shot at a normal, true relationship with a guy.

I think it's important to note that the general lesbian population generally doesn't sport the "i hate guys" slogan, so that attitude indicates that that trauma still has tremendous power over her.

or maybe she just plain likes the ladies:

Her "chemistry" with the upstanding guy at work could be nothing more than needing to connect with someone other than her (I'm inferring?) overbearing partner. I personally am a lezzie who likes her boys; i suppose sometimes our cajoling and personal confidences could be interpreted in a romantic manner, but . . . nope. Your inference could just be what our hetero-centric society expects to see: man + woman = <3

bottom line:

regardless of how or why she's in this situation, she needs to dump that *****
and find someone who will respect her and care for her.
Maybe she COULD have been straight but she CAN love and be loved.
i'm glad she knows at least two people who have her in their hearts.

Answer 2

No one's sexuality is set in stone. It's likely that she is gay but just happens to be attracted to this guy. Many people who identify as one orientation have incidents or attraction for someone they would never think they would. There is nothing strange about one or two attractions happening "outside of the spectrum". Maybe she is not sexually attracted to this man, only romanticly?
Or perhaps there is a bond different from the normal limitations of "attraction".
Since she was abused, it may be that she is stopping herself from feeling for guys when actually she does have attraction to them. She may feel that getting involved with a man will only end in her being hurt again.

Whatever the case, this is something that she needs to take time to figure out for herself. It's good that she has a friend that's so concerned!

Answer 3

Maybe she just really liked him and he put her in a position that was impossible for her to maintain. She obviously (and justifiably) had problems with males. Her decision doesn't surprise me at all.

Answer 4

She could be bisexual but if she told you that she's a lesbian then she's a lesbian.

Answer 5

God made her straight like all others. It sin and the world who directed you down the other path. He'll forgive if you ask him.

Answer 6

We all have our own stories and hers is really sad.

Answer 7

she is not a lesbian,she is a bisexual