Why do asian parent purposefully teach their children to be submissived ?

Question

I noticed that in asian families asian parents stress obedient above all. Thus they discourage assertiveness. As the result of asian child rearing pratices: Asian children growing up are unable to fend for themselves from bullies. The world is full of bullies. If you can't, won't, or unwilling to defend yourselves: you will ultimately suffer the consequences of being victimized.

Answer 1

*Submission* even to a point of overdoing is subtly learned through upraising and conditioning. Particularly, the Asian females' culture and traditions being steeped in submissiveness even preceeding the Chin dynasty of 7 centuries ago has *STAMPED* this irrefutable "mark" on them.
Bringing this ahead a few centuries, submissiveness helped the culture sustain life in many conditions. International (trans-continental) communications have steeped this into a deeper lifestyle as it is seen "prominent" in Asian life.

Answer 2

After living in an asian country for some years, I may know a little on this subject... even though I'm not asian, just lived there...

Asians are very respectful people, especially to their elders and even enemies. So to be obedient, in a sense, is a way of showing respect. Asian children are some of the nicest, most well-mannered children I have ever come across! If other families would teach their children to be more submissive and obedient, we wouldn't have that problem with bullies. If the bully does beat up a little Asian kid, I am a strong believer of what goes around, comes around... and the bully will get what is coming for him.

Answer 3

First off, let's remember that while obedience and submissiveness are big Asian values and traits of the community in general, there is always room for individual variation. And Asians are certainly able to protect and defend themselves from bullies. When we talk about obedience and submission, we're talking about general guidelines, not a strict and steadfast rule of doing nothing. In fact, there is quite a bit of bullying which itself goes on in Asian schools, just to show that Asian culture produces, much like any culture, bullies and victims both.

Moreover, I think you need to remember that a highly obedient, submissive Asian person would have a hard time in American society, but in Asian societies, that is the cultural norm, and it is Americans and other Westerners who have difficulty and suffer as a result. For example, much of Asian culture is built on peaceful, harmonious consensus; in this way, obedience rather than assertiveness is key to how their society functions. In the Western world, it's an invitation to be walked all over.

So no, I don't think Asian parents purposefully teach their children to be submissive. I think that they do hold stricter values than some Western cultures in terms of loyalty to family and parents, in being obedient, etc., but those are the parents' values handed down, which in turn somewhat socialize the children in that manner.

Hope that helps!

Answer 4

Very good question, let me give a try ...

What you observed is a very old culture in Asia. The consequence of that is a hierarchical society. Age in seniority place high in the packing order in the family, even in the social relationship.

Therefore, the old fashion Asians always believe in obey parents, take care them and see them to their graves.

Children in Asian household were viewed as assets especially boys. They are parent's property. It is sad, but it is also true.

The new Asian in this country are vastly different from that view, but only a small percentage of them.

For those with new thinking, they raise their kids like American. They treat them with respect and say "please this" and "please that" all day long to their precious children.

Guess what, kids grow up in that environment actually perform much worse than the old, traditional way. The new method will create kids on drugs and failing in every thing they do. The kids typically will look down on their loving parents and deeply resent being born as an Asian. They usually feel shame to be viewed together with their parents. This is the other side of human nature some parents must endure until they leave the house.

On the other hand, kids from those old thinkers are 100% high achievers.

You heard about Asian students are always making good grades, that was the result of the old tradition way of raising kids in America.

I am not sure I blame the new method, because although the new method produce losers, but the successful kids from those family usually grow up just like most American kids, with one exception, they still look different.

Answer 5

This Style Of Child-Rearing Is All About Respecting Your Elders And Knowing Your Place In The Family Heirarchy, This Way There Is Less Confusion As To Who Has Seniority And Makes Everything Flow So Much Easier Than Sharing Feelings And Debating With Your Domineering Parents As To Why You Have To Sacrifice Your First-Born For The Survival Of The Family Name! ~ "Submit You Hear, You Are Strong, You Will Survive!"

Answer 6

Being an Asian...I can probably answer your question.
Respect is one of the most important thing taught to children, because everyone knows that you must always respect elders. It's not obedient or submissive, it's respect. All Asians are to respect each other. It's a humane thing to do toward each other. Violence is never needed.

Answer 7

Depends on one's thoughts . Mostly yes since the asian parents want their kids to be on the safer side. East and West are different in thoughts and views about life. For the asians like us we view life in serious patterns where culture, relgion are important . Asian parents feel that westerners are happy go people. Relationship are not permanent for westerners. Relationships are the base for the asians. Marriage is important for the asians and one cannot think of changing partners after marriage except in the case of ill treatment or fraud cases or dowry demands . Marriage is the serious matter for the asians. Iam talking about Indians since Iam Indian. Not all westerners maybe are same in thoughts and approach. Some like family life and do not divorce. I hear a lot from the Indians settled abroad that westerners change their partners as people change their dresses. This is the reason asian parents feel insecure for children. Meeting opposite genders are fine . Maybe if the asians are born and brought up in uk, usa or europe then they may think like westerners etc. Approach to life etc becomes similar. If you are really serious about dating asian then remember that relationship are not for passing time. Meet as a friend . Learn about the asians culture,traditions etc. If your friend is Indian or chinese etc then know their culture. You can meet their parents and good thing is that you visit them at their home so that they know who you are and your family. Tell them that you would like to introduce your parents one day. Tell them you would like to learn more about their culture. For the asians respecting the elders are most important .

Answer 8

culture doesn't purposefully teach submissiveness as such--they teach that being giving and not confronting is the correct form of action. but to think that asians don't fend for themselves is being misinformed. asians do just fine fending for themselves--my wife is an asian immigrant who came to this country with a young daughter, found a house, a job, and worked every day of her adult life. nobody bullies her--not even me.

Answer 9

Not always true. According to my observation, there are more bullies in Asian countries than U.S or any other English -speaking countries. Asian children in the U.S are not assertive because of their poor english(if they are immigrants) and U.S media.
I think genes also play a role. Check this out,

Ethnic Differences in Infants

It probably won't surprise you to learn that different breeds of puppies show striking differences in temperament and behavior. Young beagles, for example, are irrepressibly friendly; wire-haired terriers are tough and aggressive. But it probably will raise both your eyebrows to discover that newborn infants belonging to different ethnic groups start out life with defferent sets of responses that seem to relate more to their genes than to their individual personalities.

Psychologist Daniel G Freedman studied the responses of newborn chinese and caucasian babies. Results show that in many ways Chinese and Cascasian babies behave like two different breeds.

Here are examples. Chinese babies cry less easily and easier to console, and they are confortable in almost any position they were placed while Caucasian infants tossed and turned until they were satisfied(aggressive).

When a cloth was placed briefly against their noses, Caucasian babies responded with a fight, while Chinese babies chose the simplest possible way - breathing through their mouths.

Dr. Freedman points out, "It was as if the old stereotypes of the calm, inscrutable Chinese and the excitable, emotionally changeable caucasian were appearing spontaneously in the first 48 hours of life."

Answer 10

Yet somehow the Asian children grow up to make twice as much money as your assertive as* does. They also tend to value family and extended family more than other races.