I love him, but hate some things about him?

Question

Well ive been with this guy john for almost three years on and off, but he is soo shy and it bothers me like really really bad, like im an outgoing person and him hes the total opposite he barely ever talks, we can sit there for hours and he wont say nothing and i ask him about it and he says idk why im shy around you im not shy around my friends. But thats his friends not me right?..Also hes a very very very very jealous person and i hate it soo bad cause all he does is bring up my X and i dont like that..So give me some help what should i do........?.......?.....?.....?....?.....?..and how can i make him break out of the shy shell....?......?.....?

The only bad thing about the shy is im outgoing and up for anything im not shy of nothing or around nobody! and ive never been with noone this shy and im not trying to change him but id like him to open a little bit idk its sooo hard to explain!!!!!

Answer 1

You can't change him, but you can change boyfriends.
You said, on and off again.
Maybe off is better and move on.

Be fair, make a list.
Love him for.... / Hate this...
then total them up when you are done

Answer 2

They say opposites attract but I think it's mute in this case. I really don't think that it is something that you yourself can do. If he was shy and introverted when you met him then why do you want to change him now. I'm sorry to say that maybe you guys are not made for each other. Maybe it's some sort of inferiority complex. He keeps bringing up your ex because he feels inferior to him. I say take a long break from him because obviously you need someone who can make you happy.

Answer 3

Well if you truly love him then you accept the good with the bad, just keep working with him, hes probably shy because he has no self confidence so try and compliment him and make him feel better about himself, that may break him out of his shell. If you cant work it out then maybe it is time to move on.

Answer 4

Communication is the key. Ask him what makes it so easy for him to communicate with his friends. Maybe you all can incorporate some of those things into your relationship. As far as the jealousy, he is going to have to trust you. Let him know that it bothers you when he brings up your ex. Ask him to respect your feelings and stop doing it.

You can't make a man do anything that he doesn't want to do. Often times, people are basically who they are and they are not going to change unless they want to. Don't frustrate yourself trying to change him. Either accept him for who he is to you or move on.

Answer 5

In every relationship there's going to be something you don't like about him. Just tell him that you really like him and there's no need to be jealous because he's the only guy you want. Then talk to him about coming out of his shell. Make him feel comfortable and secure and he'll open up. Shoot for the stars!! =D

Answer 6

This sounds like a case of physical attraction, not love. Your issues with this guy should be telling you to move on. He is definitely not a match for you. Any yearnings you are feeling are sexual attraction, not love. Open your eyes, look around, and find another guy.

Answer 7

I would say you are in the mainstream
with the rest of us.
Weigh the good points against the
bad points.
If the good points out weigh the bad
points, keep the fish you have.

Answer 8

Are you sure its just being shy? I don't think you can change someone if they don't want to be changed. He sounds like too much hard work.

Answer 9

Why did u go out with him in the first place? Remind ur self everytime u wanna break up!

Answer 10

Hmmm, it sounds like he's got something on his mind. Try setting some parameters or rules about your together time. If you can both compromise on what you do then you should both be able to compromise on what each of you should say...esp to each other...