What age do you think is a good age to have children?

Question

My mom just went to a marriage comedy seminar for christians, and the comedian was asking, why are we telling our kids to wait for marriage, and wait for sex and wait to have babies? And so now people are waiting, and now people are older like 30 when they have their first child. I want my husband and I to be young parents, and our parents to be young enough to enjoy their grand kids, but I want to buy a house, and wait a few more years. This guy asks why? Why do we wait? he thinks we wait just becuase that is what we have been told to do by the school, and others. And he says if we have kids younger, like 21-25 god will take care of everything....I'm kinda feeling lost. I really want kids soon, but I also feel like I have to wait for something....like more money, a big house, you know....all the stuff most people don't have when they have their first child...what is your opinon on this? I'm feeling a little overwhemled by the mixed emotions.

Answer 1

You have to feel ready for the responsibility of motherhood and the long haul of being a parent.

That being said, let me try to shed some light on the thought process of waiting.....ideally, one should be married before having babies. We have been suggesting that one waits to get married simply because we as individuals change so much from our late teens to late twenties that it was the reason the "irreconcilable differences" divorce rate went thru the roof. Wives and husbands would start out as young love sweethearts and end up not even liking anything about the other by the end of their twenties.

Now I can tell you from experience that if you wait for more money, a bigger house, etc, it will never be the right time to have a baby. You and your husband have to be in agreement and ready at the same time and then go for it.

God takes care of us anyway, whether we wait or not. Remember that this comedians opinion is just that--his opinion NOT a law and certainly not God's law. And the opinions of well meaning aunts uncles and friends is just that their opinion. God wants us to be happy and to follow him and to teach our children about him and none of that has any age limits on it.

Good luck no matter when you decide to have babies....

Answer 2

My advice is to stop focusing on age numbers. If you focus on the number you will only end up comparing yourself to others.

My parents were 33 and 37 when I was born and I had the most amazing childhood anyone could dream of having . . . partly because my parents were so totally ready to have kids. I want to wait until I'm a bit older because I think it makes a huge difference.

So, what is the right age to have kids? Whatever age you're at when you're 100% ready to put another human being's interests before your own. If you're going to resent losing nights out, drinking, partying, romantic getaways, and you time, and the idea of losing all that makes you feel really icky, you probably aren't ready. When wanting a child overrules all that other stuff, then you're there.

And by the way, be leery of Christian speakers who give this kind of advice. Too often these speakers have a "one size fits all" approach to living a Christian life, and after all, God made us all unique! Question it and use discernment to see if it applies to you. As for his question "why wait?" -- wait because it gives you time to mature into a stable, more selfless person.

Answer 3

25

Answer 4

25

Answer 5

My husband and I are 22 years old we've been together for 7 years married for 4, and have 2 kids! We're not having anymore, but were positive about our decisions to have children at a younger age as to enjoy our "after kids" life more thoroughly! We're great parents (if I do say so). Our kids are healthy and happy! However, only you and your spouse know weather you're ready, you have secure enough in your relationship to be able to make the best decisions for your children through thick and thin. And that's the kind of security kids deserve but rarely have these days. GOOD LUCK!

Answer 6

I had my first child at 24 and am currently 30 with three kids. I am so glad that I had them in my 20's. I still have enough energy to play and take care of them. Plus, when my kids are on their own, I'll still be young enough to live my own life as well as enjoy the kids and grandkids. Since I was 24, both my husband and I had jobs with benefits. I think that was the most important thing...financial stability. Money doesn't buy happiness, but kids are EXPENSIVE. Diapers, formula, clothes, bottles. food for the babies, but you just have to keep getting more and more and more as they get older. So, basically, I would say that as long as you can take care of them financially, go ahead.

Answer 7

It's up to you and your spouse, not some Christian comedy guy. When YOU TWO feel ready is when you should have kids. I can't stand it when people throw God into everything in place of common sense. I would not say you need a house and all of that before kids, but security is good for raising a child.

Answer 8

If he feels God will take care of everything then you should sit down with God and plan how things will happen in your life. Otherwise wait until you are old enough to support the children without going on welfare or asking your parents for money.

Answer 9

I don't think there is a good age or time to start a family. I don't know of anyone who had ALL of those things when they had their first child. I doubt that we are ever really ready to have children. My partner and I are engaged and trying for a baby. We don't know whether to marry before or after. We don't have a house of our own (we rent). He has a job, I don't. This isn't the "ideal" or "perfect" situation, but it feels right for us. We love each other and want to spread that. We are 22 and 20.

People may feel that younger or older is the right time for them. I don't think it really matters when it happens.

Answer 10

I don't think you'll ever really be prepared to have children. Its a lot of stress physically emotionally and financially. I'd hold off until I had a steady, good job and was financially stable enough to put up with the extra burden, like maybe mid 20's don't wait til you're too old or its going to be really hard raising them the older you get.