Please help the guilt is really getting to me??

Question

Okay i am 19 yrs old and married to my highschool sweetheart who is 20 yrs.We have been married almost 2 yrs now and we have a lot of problems.I asked him before i said "yes" to him if he was planning to follow in his older brothers foot steps to join the military.He told me no he would never join the military that he would never do that to me because he loved me too much.So a month later we eloped the day after my 18 B-day.I was so happy to be married to him even though my parents were really mad and so were his.After highschool graduation he told me he was going into training and not college.I was so angry with him and now he is in Iraq.I feel guilty for being in college and currently being attracted to other guys one in particular?I am so confused what can i do?

I feel a lot of resentment and anger toward my husband.Why dont i feel the love i used to for him?

Answer 1

Try and be proud of his choice to join the military. I don't think he did it to upset you. As for being attracted to another guy, well, you are young. Focus on your man as much as you can. Talk about him, write him, send him e-mails supporting his decision. Being attracted to other men is normal, what action you take makes all the difference if your married or cheating.

Answer 2

Girl. I know this is going to sound immoral and whatever,
but wives have been known to fall in love and sleep with other men when their husbands are away at war, and the men are known to do this overseas as well.
You are young. You got married TOO young.

I would see where it goes with this other person you are attracted to.
Don't pursue it, but if it happens, hey, it happens. SH*t happens all the time. That's life....just keep it very discreet and secret.
Don't EVER tell a soul.
Even if you don't decide to have sex, you can still have fun, flirt, even kiss and stop it there if you have a huge moral dilemma with it, at least you are sewing your youthful oats and you are getting out some of that resentment and frustration, you will feel so much better when you feel you actually have a life, and you won't feel as angry at him.
There is nothing wrong with having a bit of romance in your life while he's away,
women have been doing this for HUNDREDS--no wait, THOUSANDS of years...believe it.

Answer 3

You sure are between a rock and a hard place. I don't know what I would do but if you don't love him enough, you have to get a good job and support yourself so you can move out of your parent's house!! Ask the one who grounded you what the legal age of consent is!!! Sounds like it's none of your parent's business unless they are paying your way!! If they ARE paying your way then you have to stay clean and sober and home or take care of yourself. If you were 21 she Couldn't ground You Though!! They just don't want you to cheat on him because he's in the service. You got married too soon and you already know it!! You are Lonely!!]

You do NOT want to give a man who's in Iraq that kind of news!! NO WAY!! Their buddies are saying their wives all cheat too!! That's part of their Bonding Process!! It's true too. You cannot let him down that way because they all suspect as much!! Bless your Heart!! I know what it feels like to Want to Party!! You just hang in there!! You need to live by yourself and then wait for a divorce.

ANYONE HERE THAT TELLS YOU TO CHEAT DOESN'T HAVE TO FACE YOUR PARENTS OR HIM!! YOU DO!!!

He's fighting for our country so don't let him down!! You are going to have to wait!! It's like you are in the sevice too right now!! You wanted the truth and that's the truth!! (Get a job and move out Babe) @8-]

Answer 4

this is such a hard situation...if you cheat you will always feel guilty....there is nothing you can do to make him come home...respect his decision even if you do not agree with it. If you think there is a chance that you may cheat you should not be married to him anymore.....ppl cheat because they are unhappy....I'm sure you are lonely and unhappy because he is not here. If you were in Iraq and he was here how would you feel if he was talking to someone else....I'm sorry that you feel this way it must be EXTREMELY hard to be alone when you are married at 19 years old you still have so much to explore and so much to do. Don't sell yourself short honey.....do what your heart tell you to do..you may regret it but that's what life is all about....but if you know for sure you are going to cheat on him....do him a favor and let him go.....you cant have your cake and eat it too....you wouldn't want someone to do that to you. If you cheat you will always think that he is cheating on you...guilty conscience...

Answer 5

I know this is not what you wanted to hear.This is exactly why you should wait to get married.Neither of you were ready or mature enough to handle the realities of life yet.So much can change in just a short time such as feelings or emotions.People's goals change during this time because most young people don't know what they will be happy doing for the rest of their life.

Answer 6

I take it sence you are in college, that you can read. My advice is for you to sit down and reasearch the WARS, the Military!

Once you do, I have a feeling you just may find great respect for your husband. He's man enough to go out and fight for his country. You should be proud of him, not be angry.

Why not try masterbation to keep yourself from cheating on a man who fights for everyone of us, everyday!

Sure, there are lots of good looking guys...............but does it mean you need to attach yourself to them and not your marriage? No, you don't need to.

Anger is a part of Love honey. Try and be a good woman and hold tight and pray for the man's safty that loved you and married you.

Answer 7

You are very very young for marriage. I married young and divorced and when I look back I think...My mind was not experiences enough in life to know how to take care of my marriage well enough to make it work.

I would hope you honor your husband and your marriage by being faithful to him. You need to know that it is human to be attracted to other men. But how you react to those erges is something else.

I have also been in a military marriage and have my husband gone for long periods of time. It is extremely tough. You are on the right track..You are in college and taking care of what you need to do to make a good foundation for your marriage.

Marriage is hard work. You accepted it, took your vows, now dont whimp out. Show your husband you honor him and respect him enough to make your life successful for both of you..while he is doing the same in Iraq.

Answer 8

I think you are scared for him you are worried about looseing him becasue he is in Iraq I am from a military family my dad, uncils, grandpa, husband and son all military. It is normal to be attracted to another guy at your age but remember what you husband is doing is bigger than any of us he is risking his life to perserve the morals and dignity of our country. Don't fall for just a handsome face with a good personality a real man would never take advantage of a wife who has a husband in Irqua.

Answer 9

First off. I think he lied to you just to get you to marry him before he joined. And that was because he didn't want anyone else to have you while he was gone. If he lied to you then he will do it again. So it is up to you. Do you want a man that lied to you in the very beginning of you relationship or someone that you can trust. It takes two to make a marriage work. And he didn't and hasn't proved himself to you..

Answer 10

Well, what you COULD do is support him as a wife should. If you are attracted to other guys then STAY AWAY from OTHER GUYS! You knew that getting married that young was ridiculous, you just wanted to show your parents that you were grown up which you obviously are not. Be a woman of substance and keep your legs and mouth shut!!!!