How do they stay married so long?

Question

How do some couples stay married for years and even sometimes, a lifetime? I am getting ready to get married and I love him so much. But I want to be one of those couples who are together for as long as we live. No divorce...not for me! Whats the secret

Answer 1

Respect, trust, communication, balance, sacrifice, loyalty, faith, love, caring...

The best way to describe a soulmate...you can imagine yourself forgiving them when they hurt you, loving them when they get on your nerves or make you mad, you'd be willing to do anything for them, you can picture yourself growing old with them, you can imagine being broke and even scared and still loving them, you always go back to them, they can always make you smile and laugh, and you can't picture yourself with anyone else or ever feeling the same way about anyone else.

I wish the both of you the best luck, and I hope you do spend the rest of your life with them. Love is easy, marriage is work, but at the end of the day it pays off.

Answer 2

Well let me see my wife and I have been together 30 years and married 29 . There is no big secret you do have to respect each other and each of your needs. No this no one is perfect, you have to except each other as you are and you will change over the years, so you will learn to adapt to each other, you will learn limits, and you will grow to be very close like each others best friends. One thing that will not work is boys and girls night out, when you are a family and you both work you need to spend your extra time together, helping each other, and it will take a team effort to make it for the long haul. So if you feel you need a night out away from your better half you might want to take a close look at your relationship before you jump in with both feet. I personally don't think two people should get married before they are around 24, 25 years old - you need to get out test the water before you jump all the way in and that goes for the girls also!
I have a friend that married a girl right out of high school. I told him not to but he said they had been to the chruch talked to the preacher and they were both ready. I told him that in about 5 years she was going to start thing about what all she miss out on getting married so young. Well two kids and 4 years later they split up in another year it was all over. So make sure you have your party days behind you( and you know what I am talking about).

Answer 3

You want to know the secret?


They cheat. They drink, they abuse, they have every variety of the same problems everyone else does early on/ later on in marriage, they even fall out of love and fall 'in' love with other people sometimes during the course....

and the stick with it through thick and thin.
Every transgression no matter how severe is worked out and eventually forgiven.
Nothing is beyond working out and nothing is worth splitting up over no matter HOW bad.

THAT'S what the secret is. COMMITMENT.

All this crap about communication, trust, respect, that doesn't apply to every couple. Every elderly couple who has been together, 60+ years has had a LONG, HARD Road and LOTS of nasty secrets and bad years behind them. ASK ANY ONE OF THEM.

Marriage is NOT a walk in the park, and anyone who has that ideallic view of it and thinks really severe problems aren't supposed to happen in a "good or right" marriage is BOUND for a divorce!

Answer 4

Marriage is a choice and so is working on your marriage and staying commited and true to it no matter what. You have a good outlook here and you need to find someone who has the same views that you have on marriage to marry. I feel that if you really want to get married for all the right reasons and you work on your marriage through the good times and the bad that you marriage will be one that will last for a life time. You are right not to want divorce at all. People sure could learn from you. I wish you the best in your upcoming marriage.

http://www.marriagetoday.org

http://www.drphil.com

Answer 5

Communication
Respect
Trust

without any one of these three things, the relationship is doomed.

Communicate with each other, about everything. From the smallest things like what color to paint the living room to the bigger picture like what's our retirement going to entail. And talk often. Without the TV on!

Respect your partner. In all situations. Respect the things that are important to him--even if you don't think it warrants that much attention/time, etc. And especially if you are in public and you are mad at him, resist the urge to tell all his annoying little habits and all the bad stuff he may have said about the current host/company. Respect your partner in every single aspect of the word and of life. Respect yourself by staying healthy---emotionally and physically with diet, exercise and the right amount of fun.

Trust. Trust that he will be gentle with your heart. Trust that he will be the protector and provider that he promised at the ceremony. Trust in your relationship. Don't go into it thinking that he will be unfaithful someday. Trust in yourself that you will be gentle with his heart and that you will be the loving warmth he needs after protecting and providing for you.

Communication, Respect and Trust--and remember that you are still an individual and need some girl only time, too. Its a nice blend of couple time, family time (when kids come along), and me time (guy time for him, girl time for you).

Answer 6

At the 50 Year Anniversary celebration, of a couple that I attended, they asked the Lady, "What was the Secret to staying married for 50 years?" Her answer was......"You enjoy the Good Times, and you endure the Bad Times!" There will be some of both in your marriage. Good Luck!!

Answer 7

understanding from bth of you love each other and good or ad times...And most of all respect each other...I truthly wish you good luck!!! And I have friends that have been marry for so long and no way they will get a divorce but they love e ach other justlike when just got marry thats is what I want for me too...Is hard to find that kind partner...And Good luck...Just take one day at the time and see youwill say one day really is been a long time...

Answer 8

There is NO easy answer to this age old question. You have to keep the lines of communication open and treat him like you would want to be treated. Way down the road you could have an opportunity to have an affiar-dont because it will almost always surface. Be honest and faithful. Make him feel like a man and he is needed, that way he won't stray.

Answer 9

Open, Honest, Trusting, Vulnerable Communication.

Deviate from any of these things, and you are bound for disaster. Follow this one rule, and it's a recipe for life long happiness with your honey. REALLY... no joke... It's working so far for me. Things like... telling your girlfriends things you should tell him... is not following the rule above. You've got to be completely open to him and his communication to you. You must be trusting that his words and actions are trustworthy. Never lie. Vulnerable - meaning that even if you don't think you should tell him something, or if it makes you uncomfortable... let him know that, and then tell him anyways.

This is the key.

Answer 10

Love, Communication, Respect, Understanding and Very Important: Adjustment.