if he/she became obnoxious, violent, hateful, unpredictable and unreasonable (unable to reason) after 30 yrs of marriage...and you found they had brain damage and obsessive compulsive hoarding disorder....would you leave, or stick it out and take care of them?
2007-02-18 13:17:00 · 25 answers · asked by Tammy M 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Stick it out, marriage is sacred.
2007-02-18 13:21:16 · answer #1 · answered by chevy 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Have they had this brain damage/disorder throughout the 30 year marriage? If so, has the symptoms not been this strong or what? How have you dealt with it thus far?
Take care of yourself,first and foremost. If you love your spouse, try to encourage him to recognize his problem and get help. After a 30 year marriage, you have so much invested in your relationship already to not try to help your spouse out now when he may need you the most. However, I hope this disorder is not an excuse for the way you have been treated all these years.
Try to work it out if you want. There are treatments, both medical and not, that can help with the disorder, not sure about the type of brain damage. But please don't allow yourself to be mistreated if your husband has no intentions of trying to better himself.
Take care!
2007-02-18 13:40:24 · answer #2 · answered by Emmy F 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Can you get help with your spouse. There is medication to suppress violent behaviour. Also there are specialists in dealing with brain damage and obsessive compulsive hoarding disorder. Maybe even Dr Phil could help if you send him an email It seems that the behaviour is medical and not really directed at you. If you really love your spouse then I would stick it our and take care of him/her. Help is what you really need if you choose to stay.
2007-02-18 13:26:30 · answer #3 · answered by genie81au 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The success of a marriage is not its length, but in the joy each get from it. When the joy is gone, the ability to solve problems without rage has evaporated, you have tried everything, and being alone looks far better than staying, then, hon, it is time to leave. Whether it was 10years 5 20 or 30.....
2007-02-18 14:42:11 · answer #4 · answered by April 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
me personally....i love my husband and i would try to help him. Maybe there is some kind of medication that could help. Try taking care of him but also remember you have to take care of yourself. Maybe meds will help. My uncle is has brain damage because of a high fever he had as a child and he has obsessive compulsive disorder and used to be so mean...and aggressive and all of the things you are describing...they put him on meds and not he is a different person.....hes great....no more problems...
2007-02-18 13:31:33 · answer #5 · answered by alicia 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No i would not leave him. I would stick it out and love him where he is at and try to get him the help that he needs. He could not help it if he had brain damage. I would definitley love him and try to take care of him and be by his side through all of this.
2007-02-18 13:33:01 · answer #6 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depends on if they want help or not. If they refuse help, maybe. I do believe that a lot of marriages can be saved by working at it, but it just depends if the other doesn't care or has a negative attitude about getting help. That's a tough one, good question though.
2007-02-18 13:20:04 · answer #7 · answered by SillyKimmie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Me and my soon to be hubby has talked about this..the answer is yes. You marry someone through thick or thin..when you take those vows you do not leave a clause that states I want out if they are brain damaged..I would stick it out.
2007-02-18 13:27:20 · answer #8 · answered by Maybe I am a smartass..so what 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would stick around a while to see if treatment helped matters, but not for too long. If it doesn't get better with treatment, or can't get better, I'd leave. Why stay in a place you know you're gonna be unhappy?
2007-02-18 13:21:09 · answer #9 · answered by IIWildFireII * 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he needs some medical help and or counseling. If he were to agree to it, I'd try to work things out.
If he's violent especially and doesn't agree to get some help, I'd get out. You shouldn't have to put up with abuse.
If this is happening to you, I wish you the best and hope he is willing to get some help.
2007-02-18 17:13:12 · answer #10 · answered by Karen H 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
after 30 years i would feel i Had an obligation to care for her, it will be hard, but that's what those wedding vows were for, did you understand, maybe you should loOK them over again,if you need help, seek help at your church,or find some groups that are dealing with same things, seek family support or friends, you'll be ok just have faith-just love her and be understanding, good luck and god bless you
2007-02-18 13:25:26 · answer #11 · answered by debbie d 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋