My ex has this women living with him with says that if he loves her,,,?

Question

he will accept her child more than his own, which I know now with a fact that he is. She left him over it. He took her back, and now my son is getting the back seat so to speak. My son has to be the best boy ever, he is such a good kid. Dosen't want to hurt his dad, ever. Please do not tell me that it will all work out because it all has been said before. He should not have to hurt because his dad is in love with someone that does not accept his son. His Dad has accepted her and her son and eli is someone that just comes over every other weekend. I want someone to give me some options.

Answer 1

How old is your son? At some point he will have a say about who and when he wants to visit. Just keep the lines of communications open with you son. He needs to talk. If he wants to go see his dad, let him. If he chooses not too, let him stay with you. The dad is a jerk...but it is your son's relationship with you that you can control. So make it a great one.

Answer 2

His dad sounds like a Major As*hole.

You chose him though, wrong choice.

This probably hurts your son much more than you could ever imagine.

It takes a long time to accept that your father is worthless to you.

I think a guilt trip and public disgrace works the best. Call him up and tell him what a piece of crap he is for excluding his son, what a failure he is as a human being that he is hurting an innocent child this badly....perhaps he needs to know how sad and bad your son really feels- Perhaps threaten a lawsuit and call or talk to everyone he knows and tell them all how badly he is hurting your son.


Lots of men are like this, so he's not alone, abandoning, worthless, heartless fathers.

John Lennon was like this, he met a new woman, took off with her, and NEVER even called or saw his son for YEARS,--and years later, when he had a new son, he favored that son, still only seeing his first son a handful of times in his life when he had all the money and opportunity to be a good father to him.
and can you "imagine", to add insult to injury, his poor little 5 year old had to witness his dad, who he hadn't seen or heard from on TV preaching about 'love' and 'peace' and calling people you don't know and saying 'l love you' when he couldn't even call someone he knew!
And "imagine" growing up and everyone thinks your father is a some saintly demiGod when you know in your heart what a worthless bastard he was because YOU were the ONLY person he seemed to NOT LOVE!--his first son!

So, yeah, you are not alone.

Good luck. Be a good mom to your boy, you're all he has.--

Answer 3

talk to him without arguing...tell him how you feel and see if their can be some kind of compromise...if you call him with an attitude his will get one right back. If he loves this women there is nothing that you can do about it...you have to be the better person and do what is right for your son....if you feel that he is lacking something from his father...sit down and talk to his father. You cant make someone spend time with your son or treat him a certain way..his father has to want to do that. Sometimes these things never work out..im sorry to say. If you feel your son will get hurt (not physically) in the long run or see that his father treats the other child differently you may want to consider not sending him over there and have his father come there...?? sorry this is a hard situation...my moms friend is going through the same thing.....

Answer 4

In law, "first kids come first," which makes some second wives (or, wife wannabes) very insecure. If your son's father has any worth as a man or a father, he will come to his senses. It may take a great deal of time. However, there is a chance he is neither. In that case, you must put yourself above it. Never speak badly of his father, and always encourage the relationship unless it becomes more hurtful and dysfunctional than beneficial to your son. If his father never figures out the harm he is doing, then know that this is who the man is. He would have shown his true character even if he had stayed with you and your son. And, if that is the case, I am a strong believer that it is better for a child to have one good, loving parent, than two parents in his life when one is cruel and emotionally abusive.

Answer 5

I'm sorry, but I don't see many options open to you.

His father is not doing anything illegal or physically harmful to your son, so more than likely you will not be able to get his visitation rights taken away.

All you can do is be there for your son. Let him know that he is number one to you, no matter what.

As your son gets older he will learn that his father is a dead-beat-dad that has made some very poor decisions in his life. And your son will grow to appreciate you all the more for putting him first.

So, really, your only option is to keep putting your son first in your life and make him the center of your world. Make sure you are especially there for him after visits with his father, when he is likely to be feeling down.

Answer 6

There really aren't any options. Unless he is abusing your son in some way, you can't stop him from getting him for visitations and it's important for your son to see his father. All you can do is be there for your son. It's an unfortunate situation. I would try to talk to his father, but it will probably fall on deaf ears. It's sad that a father would except someones else's son and not his own. I would try to get his dad to see that, but it will be hard to do if not impossible.
You don't say how old your son is and how long this has gone on.

Answer 7

I have gone through this with my own father a few years back. His girlfriend did not like kids and wanted nothing to do with me and my brother and sister. We were all over 18 to we sat down with him and let him know if he is going to abandon his family for lust he will regret it later down the road when he ends up by himself. If I were you I would arrange a meeting with him and try to explain what he is doing to his son. Sometimes men can be blinded by love and not realize they are hurting the ones they love. Bring your son with you and let him have it. Sometimes the truth hurts but at the same time it wakes most people up.

Answer 8

Tough situation..... he is the one loosing out, children always can feel who and where the love is coming from. Just do the very best you can do, and see if you can talk to your x to tell him how your son is feeling, and if he says he wont except him still, then ask if you can make arrangements with court so that your son doesn't have to go through the rejection with his dad. See if that wakes him up....... I know your son is hurting, I feel his pain!! Please get him involved in Sunday school, or something that he can learn how to forgive and be happy and go on with life... to be strong and have morals and beliefs... he is going to need it. Life is so tough on kids. God bless, and good luck.

Answer 9

Man I wish I knew what to do to fix this but I dont. I have a friend that went thru the same thing. He ended up coming home finally but Dont know if this will happen for you. He is favoring her child to make her think he loves her and her son more. Seems to be a man thing i think. Just know ur not the only mother to see her child go thru this but U can for sure let Him know that he is loved by you. Best of luck.

Answer 10

thats terrible the way your son's dad is treating him i don't know what to say except now you have to be his mom and dad i hope his dad will see he's neclecting his son and start being like a dad should i was raised with out my own dad my mom and dad seprated when i was 8 then my mom died when i was 18 from cancer