adopted i would be dead she was going to abort me! and she wants to see me but how can i tell her no? i don't like her right now,should i ?
2007-02-18 13:00:21 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
should i like her ?
2007-02-18 13:00:52 · update #1
now she doesn't want any thing to do with me and i was just thinking on it and i was thinking mabe i would love meeting her but she said i can't meet her tell i'm 18 yr/o that is not fair! she's my blood mother! i'm 11 yr/o
2007-02-18 13:10:57 · update #2
it wasn't her first mistake she had my bro. and my sis. too,
2007-02-18 13:12:49 · update #3
she said if the guy she thinks is my dad even is my dad,he was and still's in jail!
2007-02-19 03:31:19 · update #4
she doesn't write me all the info that i say to her has to go thru my grandma
2007-02-19 03:56:49 · update #5
You don't have to like her, you don't have to see her.
Some day you may want to meet her, but it doesn't have to be now or ever if you don't want.
It is okay to send her a note saying "Thanks, but no thanks, not right now." You don't have to explain yourself any more than that.
The people who raised you are your parents in every way except the egg and sperm, so what is most important is your relationship with them.
2007-02-18 13:09:53 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to understand that your mom was 13 when she had you . she knew that she could not take care of you. Be happy that she wanted u to have a good life and don't hold that against her. The best thing to do is tell her not right now. You need time to absorb this all. It is a lot for an 11 yr old to handle. Im sorry u are going through this but she gave u the best thing she probably could have and that is a chance at a good life. Maybe there will come a time when you do want to meet her but it is your decision. Only u will know if u made the right one.
2007-02-21 17:33:08 · answer #2 · answered by spacelee666 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most adopted kids dont get to meet thier biological parents until they are grown so that is not surprising. You might find when you talk with her that she didnt want to give you up but had no way or resources to take care of you and thought you would be better off. That is the hardest decision a parent ever makes and the most unselfish one ever. She chose for you to have a good or better life rather than be with you. So your life would be good. You have a few years before this will happen so dont worry too much about it now. Just know that one day you will be able to ask and find out what exactly happened and why.
2007-02-18 22:56:02 · answer #3 · answered by elaeblue 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your mother probably realized that she can't see you until you're 18 anyway, so now it is a meeting that is postponed. You can wait. In the meantime, you can relax and enjoy the life you do have. Think about the good things that you do in your life and how you have not made the mistakes she made or that your father made. Be proud of yourself! When you finally do meet your mom, when you are 18, you will be curious. You will have plans and relationships and a future. You'll be meeting the mother who was very, very different from you are when she was your age. You'll be able to handle it. It will be interesting for you both. Good luck and be patient.
2007-02-22 11:40:24 · answer #4 · answered by kathyw 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You both have to be ready in order to meet. I was givin up for adoption too at birth and she never wanted anything to do with me. In fact she wanted and still wants me dead. If you don't feel, like meeting her you don't have too. It is your choice. Say you are honored meet her later on but, not at this time. But, you would like to keep in contact by letter or by E-mail. And you don't have to like her. I hate my birthmom.
PS- By law you have to wait until you are 18. That just is the way it is. Not much you can do about it. It is only 7 years. I met mine when I was 22. Same age as when she had me. Thank God I am 3 times the woman she could ever be.
2007-02-18 21:24:16 · answer #5 · answered by LITTLE 1 :o) 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Put yourself in her shoes: What would you have honestly done if you got preg. at 13? I know MOST people would choose not to take the baby. Don't take it personally ( It was probably a very hard decision for her) Maybe her parents made the decision for her? You should wait to meet her until some of the hurt is gone so you don't have resentment when you meet her. Good luck! E-mail me if ya need to talk!
2007-02-19 09:47:33 · answer #6 · answered by xoxoDewtYxoxo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think your mother was way to immature then to realize the responsibility of having a child. it was the best thing for her to do was give you up for adoption, and i think after all these years if she wants to see you, you should at least meet with her. she is your birth mother, and is probably a lot different now than she was when she was 13. give her a chance. you can still continue to live where you do now, but just meet with her.
2007-02-22 17:52:27 · answer #7 · answered by Jamie Lynn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have every right to feel the way you do.she needs to understand what youve been through. just tell her your not comfortable meeting right now. but if you think you might be interested later, tell her maybe a couple conversations on the phone at first, just to take things slow.
2007-02-18 21:06:44 · answer #8 · answered by dynamite136 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have reason not to, but don't close the door forever. Tell her you can't see her now but that perhaps you will when the time is right. Learning to forgive is not easy, but when you can do so you will feel better.
2007-02-18 21:06:18 · answer #9 · answered by October 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can meet her only if you want to. She has grown up some so she might be a changed person. Remember who has loved and nurtured you tho. These are your parents.
2007-02-19 09:27:02 · answer #10 · answered by mimegamy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋