my wife of 2 months is crack head who was in a serious accident 9 months ago new she was an addict & we split after accident life flight disability etc we got back together and she swore she was finished in that life you know it nov i caught her meeting with her ex lover crack dealer all hell broke loose and she swore a 2nd time it was done married dec find out this friday she has reconntacted ex lover crack dealer again she is sorry will never happen again etc
i am going crazy my fault i know can someone tell me how to handle this and protect me at the same time she is 45 and i am a dumb 60
2007-02-18 12:44:11 · 21 answers · asked by bill s 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
why not have her committed? she is obviously a threat to herself and other people. it would be hard but the doctors would not release her until she was off the drugs.
then you could possibly gets some counseling for her and you could then possibly have a normal life.
2007-02-18 12:57:01 · answer #1 · answered by angel1 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well, coming from someone who used to live a similar lifestyle, it is not easy to leave it behind. Though I am much younger (25), I know that she is probably struggling. It is very hard for someone that has never been addicted to something so controlling to be able to understand what it takes to quit. For me, I got pregnant with my first child, so I had a violent shove into sobriety, if not for that I can't say for sure what would have happened to me. However to give you hope, my oldest daughter is almost 4 and my youngest is 6 months, and my husband and I are happily married, and I have been sober since I got pregnant almost five years ago. I would say that the best thing for you to do if you have the resources, is to propose to your wife that you relocate and start new. Try to get her as far away from this life as you can, so that you both can start over in a new place with new friends. She has to be 100% that she wants to quit ( remember a person can want to without being able to) and you need to remember that it won't be easy, for either of you, and she will need a lot of emotional and physical support from you. You also need to be sure that you want to be with her and help her through this, and that you are emotionally strong enough for the road ahead of you. You will need to find a support group for the two of you to attend, and you need to do a lot of research on the drug and the addiction, so that you can learn how to recognize if she is using, and how the addiction works. I really hope that the two of you can make it and that your wife can walk away from this life and know how much her husband loves her.
2007-02-18 20:57:46 · answer #2 · answered by veachypoo 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
There is no way you can continue to let her back into your life. A marriage is built off of trust. You will never be able to trust her again. She has let you down to many times. When there is no trust other things in the relationship start to fall apart. The bible says that adultry is the only excuse for devorce, But i dont think crack was a problem when it was written. You have to get out and enjoy the rest of your life not spend it looking after someone who does not care about your feelings.
2007-02-18 20:54:09 · answer #3 · answered by Matt G 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Then quit being a dumb 60 and dump her crack head behind. She is addicted and she won't change. No amount of promising on her part will mean a thing. Get out and find someone who can appreciate you and what you have to offer. At your age, you shouldn't have to live a daily drama!
2007-02-18 20:49:02 · answer #4 · answered by mamabear1957 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
get a divorce and leave her alone, she is obviously not ready ot change and very well may never be. It is not your fauslt she is the addict. Be sure to not answer her calls or visits and let her know she is no longer welcomed around you, Go find you a real women and let her dealer have her. Don't waste another second of your life trusting her, and letting her manipulate you. Good luck dear.
2007-02-18 20:53:56 · answer #5 · answered by Angela K 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well to tell you first off, if she is a crack head and your not likeing that dont keep with her. She already swore she wasnt going to do it again and she did. I dont think that is good. Not good at all. I personally would not want to be with her. You need to rethink everything and maybe start over. Or you could just threatn her, maybe that will help her stop (i mean threatn her with spliting up.) So that is what I think.
2007-02-18 20:50:07 · answer #6 · answered by Crazyness 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
First of all, you are not dumb, love is just a strong emotion and we tend to believe in the ones we love...you are however, in a jam here! She needs professional detox...no if's about it, dear...I have known folks who went through the program successfully..The key is she must want it! If she does she can finally be free of that horrible monkey who is riding her back! BEST of luck to you.
2007-02-18 20:50:02 · answer #7 · answered by janet r 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you want this marriage to work, you need to get your wife professional help, otherwise this will probably just become a viscious circle of events that will of course keep happening with no end in sight.
2007-02-18 20:53:59 · answer #8 · answered by Nestor 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
try to move so you guys can cut off communication with the dealers. Keep praying (if you are) and try to talk to a church leader (whether you're religious or not) they shoudl be willing to help. she needs some help try to get it for her. I'm sorry you're going through this - good luck and God bless :)
2007-02-18 20:48:32 · answer #9 · answered by Ashley 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i understand where you are coming from they lie and never make good on what they say are what they going to do.they say anything to get that crack i been through this many times you may have to make a change like let her go no matter how much you love her she dont love herself if she not in AA meeting to help her self you are wasting your time.she needs AL-ANON
2007-02-18 20:55:05 · answer #10 · answered by annjilena 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋