Does my Wife love me and will my marriage survive?

Question

About a year ago Me and my wife were involed in a Domestic vilence(it was my fault ) and after that we were separted for 3 months and move back in with each other during that i was hurt for what i have done and tryed to work things out then i ended up quiting my job and thinking i was getting a better job. well it did not work out as i planed because the job that i wanted would not hire me cuz what happen and i was jumping from job to job to make my marriage and family survie in turn i went in to a depression which i end up distanting my self and she was not around me any more she was always at her parents adn she did not sense i was depress which in turn i got upset with her and kick her out and we been separted for 10 months and at the beganing i just wanted to party and have time to my self and to think about every thing and at the 6 month i took classes for my anger and now i dont know if its going to work but she wants it to work so what do i do were are 21 and have 2 kids

See after what happen with me and my wife after i commited the viloence agaisnt her i thought i was the victim so we moved back in with each other and then problems happen so then we ended up getting separted and then i kept to my self and the whole time i was thinking divorce and being selffish then i took the classes at first to drop the charges then fell in love with the knowledge the classes show i mean i know my mistakes and i know that i was blaming other things that were happening in my life my wife is a good women and she will do anything for me and i will do anything for her and all i want is the best for her and i also have a jeolause problem not so much in the present but about her past see my wife hase been with 3 other men before me and it disgust me the thought but i been with 13 other women before her but i dont see the problem now i dont let get to me but in a way it still does but me and her are going to move back in its that i am just scared

i am scared that all are probelms are going to happen again i mean she is a family girl and i am not i forgot how a family should be but would spend all her time with her mom and not me at first it did not bug me but it started to then i would get home from work and she was not there she was at her family i mean i will always tell her that we are a married couple and i need her to be with me and not to be distant by being at her family house she was doing this before the viloence and it got to the point were we are at the store looking for something for the house and she will call her mom and ask her if she thinks it would look good and ingore me (she lets her family tell her what to do)and its not that i want her to stop seeing her family its that i want her to be even and spend time with me and the kids at the same time so i mean i belive we can do it and it that i am scared and we have good times and bad times like every married couple so if any one needs to know more just ask

more details , me and her family problay wont get along but she now starting to step up to them and protect her rights of her heart by letting them know what she feels for me and there opion wont matter that she wants to be with me. See this women is great but we have problems i married her cuz i love her not because we had kids and belive me we have been throw alot and at first i wanted to leave cuz i guess i gave up on marriege and the fact the people my age are going out and partying and my wife is a stay home girl a good girl but anyways i just basicly want to know good adivice even if i dont like it i am trying to tell everything i can to let people know so they can give me adivce i am going to classes of family viloence and i love it and i tell you this if you would of ask me why i got arrest 7 months ago i would of lied and now i share with my wife about my feelings and we still agure about that we are separted and i would like for her to spend more time with me. ask more ?.

SO there you have it and yes me and my wife belive it can work out but yet we are scared and doubtfull and hurt but we are working it out for us not due to the kids so my question is DOes my wife love me and wiill my marriage survive and what should i do about being scared. need to know more ask.

Answer 1

Enroll yourself in a batterer's intervention group. Once a week for 26 weeks and challenge the beliefs that are putting you at risk of becoming violent again. Make sure you wife has information about the nearest Women's Crisis Center. Don't even think of couples counselling until you have completed the 26 weeks of classes. You need to work out the problems in yourself before you can understand and work on the relationship. I know, because I facilitate one of these groups and have worked for 15 years in this field. I work with the men on probation for this behavior. Good luck, and best wishes for a healthy relationship.

Answer 2

First and foremost, your wife should have left you the first time you abused her and she should not have came back. I was married at 21 too, and my husband did things that scared me, and we did not have any kids until I was 23. He worked and I did to, and thigns were going good. In 1996, I left him for 3 months because he was not doing the things that he should have been doing as the caretaker of our 3 kids now. I left and I began to realize that the children needed their father so around Father's Day this same year, we moved back in and started the family thing again. Things went okay for a little while. His mother passes away in 2001 and after this, he just lost it. In 2003 he started verbally abusing me and my children and just being damn hateful, and I knew that if I did not get me and the children out of this situation that we would be dead. I contacted a shelter for women and children and she told me to get there as soon as I could. We left that next morning. My husband thought we were missiing. I would say to you that in order for you to make this marriage work---you need to get some things in order.
First and foremost you need to think about your children.
Second you need to stop the partying and drinking.
Third, you need to turn your life over to the Lord and let him come into your heart and life and your marriage will work.
I would suggest that since tomorrow is Sunday that you and your family find a local church in your hometown and go in and receive the gift of eternal life through Jesus Christ and you can only imagine the difference this will make in your life.
I tried for 10.5 years to get my ex-husband to realize the need for Jesus in his life, but he threw it all away and we ended up divorcing. I know that you say that you want your marriage to work. You need to change some things in your life for this to happen. Do what I have suggested and see what happens.
Best of Luck to you and your wife and especially those 2 babies.
Pray to the Heavenly Father, and seek his guidance in all of this.
GO TO CHURCH TOMORROW.

Answer 3

you need to sit down and really talk it through and decide what is best don't forget that you have kids try and take time out for you and your wife and try to rekindle the love and also the trust!!
trust is the most important part of a marriage and if she feels that she cant trust you then you have problems
try a marriage counselor and don't stay together just for the kids sake because all that will happen is that you will both end up hurting them

good luck

Answer 4

The only thing that can save you is honesty and devotion. You have to both really want to be together and to make it work. If you can both sincerely commit to this than you can lower your gaurds and past feelings and move forward. The desire needs to be there because otherwise the ego and other self defense will prevent you two from forgetting the past and correcting your current negative personality traits. It will be easier than you think once you are both prepared to do what it takes.

Answer 5

You've taken classes to help you manage your anger issues. Continue to go to meetings and work on dealing with life's issues without getting angry and resulting to violence. Try to work things out for the sake of your children. However, I would rather see children raised in a single parent home if both parents are miserable. If things don't work out, do not use the children as pawns in the divorce, love them and keep your emotional issues between you and the wife.

Answer 6

It seems you are really trying first of all to get yourself on the right track, and then get your family back together..there is however, the fact that she may not be willing to try it again...No matter the outcome, remember, your life is still better than before, and if you can't have her, you may still find love again! If for no other reason, don't give up, those precious kids need you!!!

Answer 7

I HIGHLY suggest that you roll your sleeves up & get in there & do what ever it takes to make that marriage work. DO NOT throw your marriage away! Do not conform to the ways of this world. It sounds like both of you want to save the marriage. Please take this to heart from someone who TRULY knows...Be VERY thankful that your spouse STILL wants to work on saving the marriage & that she has enough faith in you to believe that it can be saved.There HAS to be three key ingridents to a successful marriage. They are...Trust / Honesty & Comunication...I often say that its best that we really learn to listen to our spouse with our hearts first & ours ears second. Seek counsel for your self first if thats what it takes. Marriage is to sacared to just throw away. Do whats right my friend & not what other people tell you what they think you should do.If you do that, you will never win. Search your heart and only then you will find whats right. Don't do it for the kids but for you & your wife, who it sounds like she loves you very much and THAT my friend is enough to want to make this marriage work! You have a lifetime of memories still yet make!

Answer 8

I feel there is hope here believe it or not. It sounds like you are truley remorseful and sorry for what you have done to her and to the marriage in the past so this is a good sign and a start. I suggest that you seek counseling and help for you and what you are feeling and also seek counseling and help for the both of you and your marriage with marriage counseling. You also need counseling and or medical help for your depression as well. I think it is great that she wants to work on the marriage as well. Also if need be go to http://www.drphil.com and ask him for help and advice in this situation. I hope things get better for you and your wife and your marriage soon. I will be praying for you as well. Hugs to you both today.

http://www.marriagetoday.org

Answer 9

for your wife to move back with you means she really cares for you and your marriage will survive if you open a better communication between you two so you can understand each other plus she can sense what your planning to do and vise versa
when you are deppress you dont care about the world and you dont care about your self this negative tendencies tends to negative decisions negative thoughts negative feeling
talk to her and try to put her in your plan or decisions so she can give some feed back to you it is nice for you to take anger management and accepting your fault it is a sign of maturity i think your going pretty good in the future remember when your angry and want to make a harsh decision always think about your kids and their future
believe me charge it to my experience
goodluck

Answer 10

The best thing you can do is talk to her and tell her everything in your heart and mind.If my husband had done that life would have been better.I know nothing is easy but keeping this all to yourself helps no one.Have a heart to heart.If you want this as much as she sounds like she does then nothing is impossible.