He makes a big deal out of nothing all the time. Nothing we can do pleases him. I've suggested counseling, but he doesn't want it. I've tried talking to him about it but there is no talking to him. He's always right and I'm always wrong. The other day he wanted to go somewhere and all I said was "I really don't feel like going". He flew off the handle acusing me of "pitching a fit" How is "I really don't feel like going" pitching a fit. I'm at the point where, even though I love him dearly, I don't want to live under the same roof with him anymore. It's seriuosly affecting our intimate life as well. What to do?
2007-02-18 12:35:01 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If he won't go for counseling with you, go without him. Is this behavior relatively new? He may be suffering from some kind of personality disorder. Or, he may be using his anger as a way to control you. In either case, you should go for counseling to help you deal with him effectively and to help you decide what the best course of action is for you.
2007-02-18 12:44:19 · answer #1 · answered by Yo' Mama 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A lot of men go thru a period of depression without recognizing it for that or admitting it. My hubby was doing the same things--everything was my fault right down to him being denied a day off at work! how could I have any control over that?! Anyway, I did some research and discovered that his constant extreme highs and lows and all the irritability were symptoms of depression. I had to give him an ultimatum---behave better or I'm out of here. He refused professional/medical help but he was open to reading about it and changing his diet and habits like getting more exercise. He is doing very well 8months later. And our life has signifacantly improved.
My friend's husband was so moody that he was all but physically abusive to her and their young children. She did lots of research too and discovered that he was probably bipolar. She left info about it lying open around the house--evidence that she was reading about it. He is such a neat freak and controlling that he would pick them up and look at them. One day he asked her why she was reading that "do you think you're bipolar" he asked her. No she said but I think you should be seeing a doctor for it. Because she let him come to find the materials and ask her about it when he was NOT in "one of his moods", he says it was the best move she ever made. He has since seen the doc and is on meds to control his moods.
Just a couple ideas that worked for us. You know your mate and his potential responses. Good luck.
2007-02-18 12:57:39 · answer #2 · answered by j05gemini 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If a wife makes her husband miserable, that is his fault for allowing it. And if a husband makes his wife miserable, that is her fault for allowing it. Husbands and wives should treat each other with respect, love and caring. If they can't then they need to go to counseling or divorce. I wish you would be more specific, though. I mean, woman nag and have PMS. So deal with it. Just like men like to hang out with the guys, leave the toilet seat up, pass gas, stare at other women. But no one should be subjected to ridicule, abuse or control. Now that would be miserable.
2016-03-15 21:45:43 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Child,let me tell ya what to do!!!! By a cheap tape recorder and record him and then play it back at the right moment. Also,is something a work bugging him? A lot of guys keep it in at work and come home kicking the dog and"kicking butt". Set him down and ask whats wrong? Is it work and te people there or is itMale PMS? Get him to laugh of little and see if he talks. Wait for the right moment to replay that tape recorder so he can here how he sounds.
2007-02-18 12:52:12 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
go on line and check into bipolar disorder, see if these symptoms describe your husband at all.
my husband suffered from this for years, it started out with just being a "constant complainer" too but has went through many cycles since then and at one point he even attempted suicide.
find a way to make your husband see that he needs to see a professional before it is too late.
2007-02-18 12:48:57 · answer #5 · answered by angel1 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie, I feel for you; I've been through it. We went through a bitter divorce.
Most men are stubborn and won't seek medical help. They went through midlife crisis and whatever else; and blame everybody for their problems including their loved ones. You can't even laugh because they want you to be miserable like them.
Pray for change and also plead with him to see a doctor.
God bless!
2007-02-18 13:04:22 · answer #6 · answered by childofGod 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is sad to say, but if he refused to get help with his attitude, which i might add, will not get better, there is nothing you alone can do...You may want to consider a seperation, maybe then will he get the message and be willing to try anything to save your marriage...Talking has not helped, it's time for some action! Good luck to you.
2007-02-18 12:46:17 · answer #7 · answered by janet r 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate to say this but since he wants nothing to do with counseling i suggest you go to http://www.drphil.com and email him for help here since your husband is being so stubbon and obstinate and not wanting to do anything to change or help the marriage and or situation. Do all you can to try and save the marriage and if he will not do anything no matter what they leave him if need be and dont look back.
2007-02-18 12:56:18 · answer #8 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know but when you find out tell me! my husband is always hostile, has horrible road rage, yelling, without being provoked... I have tried to get him into counseling but he refuses.
2007-02-18 13:31:18 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do what I did....divorce his butt...it worked for me!! I love not having to hear him complain and yelling all the time and ruining the rest of the family's fun.
2007-02-18 12:41:54 · answer #10 · answered by NYEVE43 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋