Every time I try to leave him he gets suicidal.?

Question

I don't know how to handle this at all. my son is 18 teen still in school and my husband and him does not get along. i've been with this man for 11 years so it seems like i'm stuck.I dont want him to kill himself, but i dont want my son in this situation. my husband cuses him all the time. they have no respect for each other.it affects our realationship. i feel like i should have got out along time ago.And now its to late.I know there has to be away to resolve our marriage and him be okay.does anyone have a idea that might help me. or has someone been in this type of situation that would have some advice?

Answer 1

Oh my dear, don't let some person make you stay baring the guilt that if you leave they will commit suicide. It isn't going to happen, you have my word. That is a tactic that weak men use to keep their women in controlling situations. You need to leave, your son needs to see you move on and be happy before he will ever find peace in his life. If you don't, he will grow to be bitter and hate males and likely develop the same personality traits that he has been subjected to over time. Do it for you honey, get out and see what it is like to really live.

Answer 2

Wake Up.
Your kid is 18 he will not be with you for long.
Figure out what is going on here. I sounds on the basis of the question you are willing to give up your husband for a kid who should be going to college in a year. If the son is NOT going to college next year your husband should be on his butt.
Your husband should not be threatening suicide either. That is a really stupid controlling behavior too.
Leaving your husband at this point will only result in your being alone soon. Is that really what you want?
If an 18 year old is planning on living with mommy much longer there is another red flag.
It sounds like your son is playoing both of you. Your kid is not helping you by getting between you and your husband.
Maybe your husband is using his last resort to try to break your sons hold on your apron strings. Sure its convoluted thinking but what else works? How often have you threatened to leave because of your child?
Just in case no one has told you, your son is 18. He is not a boy anymore. He should be in school or gainfully employed next year.

You have a lot of male disfunction around you.You would do everyone a lot of good with some therapy.

Maybe you should sit tight and try to sort stuff out for a bit.

Answer 3

My sister had the same problem with her boy friend he said he would kill himself if she left him. 9 times out of 10 it's a bluff so if I were you I would call it .My sisters boyfriend did nothing when she left him.You say it's to late to get out.Why is it to late and is this how you want to live out the rest of your life being unhappy and being with a man that has done this to you.No one should live like that if they have a choice.Who is more important here is it your son your husband or is it you.If your not sure then I will tell you ,It's you,you come first before any other person .You payed your dues now it's your turn to be happy.Don't let anyone tell you or make you do something you don't want to do.

Answer 4

have u ever considered counseling? your husband is jealous of your boy, he wants to be the boy here, who gets all of the attention, and no it never does seem to work out, when we marry a man who isn't the boys dad, always causes some kind of problem. a boy has such a close bond with the mother, and the husband sees this, becomes jealous, it just isn't worth it being married to a Man who doesn't like your boy, and when the boy is moved out and gone what else will this person find wrong ?yes i have been there done that, and now divorced. just doesn't work unless the man is mature, and he doesn't seem to be. that's his fault if he wants to end his life, he wouldn't be having all of these troubles if he would just grow up. this situation is going to hurt your son later on. i would get the man some therapy if he were talking suicide, he doesn't even sound too safe to be around.

Answer 5

The question is "do you have respect for your husband?" That's important in a marriage. You've already said that you should have left years ago. If you didn't leave only because he threatened his life then you're staying for the wrong reason. He already knows that's what will make you stay. I hate to say it but call his bluff. More than likely, he's too in love with himself to harm himself. Take care of yourself. If he attempts suicide then call 911 and let them take care of him. You're not his mother or his keeper. Sounds like you have two children instead of just one. Good luck.

Answer 6

I hate to be the one to say it, but divorced woman with children need to consider the children first, not the boyfriend and 2nd husband to be. Now what? 11 yrs later , you realize that your son (flesh & blood) comes first. OK, so leave, if he commits suicide, you & your son are protected from this man. This man may harm your son if you tell him you are getting a divorce. The best thing to do is have your son if you can leave to your parents house and tell this man that he got his own apartment. Then divorce him. I'm afraid for your innocent son. I hope he doesnt harm him. Get a divorce & a restraining order. To be suicidal is a sickness and some people take victims with them.
Good Luck!

Answer 7

First of all, you should not be blaming yourself for this situation. Your husband is not only verbally abusive towards your son, but he is also manipulating you both. He is using his own threat of taking his life away if you leave him. It may be a cry for attention, it could be his way to make you stay, but either way, this relationship is very harmful for you both. I would suggest marital and family counseling ASAP. Consider calling a suicide hotline and tell them your situation with him, and don't hesitate on it. Even if it's just a threat to have you stay, anybody who makes those statements is having a lot of mental issues. Hope everything works out for you, good luck.

Answer 8

I just told my husband of 15 years that I wanted a separation, because I found out things that he has lied about. I tried the same thing on me, I could just kill myself, if I don't have you I'm nothing. Well, I can't help what he does to him self. I know that I have to take care of myself and our son. If he chooses to take the easy way out then that's him. You have to do what will make you happy, you can't control what he does. Good Luck...

Answer 9

He is doing this as a ploy and a feel sorry for me kick so that you will not leave him and this is his guilt trip on you so that you will have to stay with him. Dot fall for it and get out now. It is not too late. Have you both been to marriage counseling yet or anything? I recommend that too. Also go to http://www.drphil.com and email him about this situation and he may be able to help you with some advice.

Answer 10

It is not too late to get out. Your husband isn't going to kill himself. He is just using that threat to manipulate and control you and, so far, it's worked. When I was divorcing my ex, he threatened to kill himself. He even called me at work, crying, and telling me he had a gun. I sent the police and his sister over to his apartment but I didn't come. He never tried that again! Don't let this guy control your happiness. Get out now and don't look back. And don't listen to his threats. It's all a bluff. Don't even talk to him on the phone so he can't try to control you and make you feel guilty. He's playing you!