We have been together for awhile. We are apropritae ages( in our 20's)...well recently he has stated that he thinks it is best to stop having sexual relations with eachother until we marry. We have been having sex for awhile now...3 months after we got together...( I know it was ahuge mistake I had...I lost my virginity with him because I put so much trust that he would not do me wrong). Well he has not cheated on me or is not seeing anyone else. I noticed his changing towards me sexually around Xmas time. We started to have sexual relations less, or he would want to have sex when he wanted to. i have talked to him about this, and we both stated our feelings. He believes that since we have had sex we have began to have alot of problems( I agree alitlle) but the point is when I wanted to stop having sex, he didnt change..now he says he has changed for the better( stronger in his faith) and he wants to do whats right. I think he isnt attracted to me anymore and he wants to go slower.
2007-02-18 10:40:44 · 11 answers · asked by caysay d 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
We have had a strong relationship with sex and now it has decreased somewhat. He wants to completely stop having sex. He says he has changed ( his faith) which is great because in many ways my spiritual life has gotten stronger. In the past I wanted to not have sexual intercourse anymore because I felt as though it was wrong(premarital sex) and I told him, and he said We love eachother and we are going to spend the rest of our lives together so it should not affect us. Now he is switching roles on me. I feel down, sad, and hurt because I think its more to him wanting to practice abstinece. Please answer.
2007-02-18 10:44:02 · update #1
Obviously he wants to go slower with the relationship. I don't think it is a matter of him not being attracted to you sexually I think it is a matter of him caring more about where this relationship is headed to simply base it on sex alone. He obviously wants more than just sex from the relationship. Either you change with him or go find someone who only wants a relationship based on sex.
2007-02-18 10:45:12 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Being quite a bit older than you perhaps I can shed some light on your dilemma. There is nothing wrong with having sex if you are engaged and the wedding is in the planning stages. However, it sounds like this is not the case. If it is a religious belief, why now? Were you not strong in your faith prior to now?
Just from the way you sound, perhaps not only should you stop having sex, but not spending so much time together. He might be feeling smothered and/or trapped. Do you have separate interests? Do you do things with freinds and family without each other being along? Space is the true test of love. If you can be happy, content and secure without being together then it is love and meant to be, but, if this is not the way it is, something is wrong. Take some deep hard looks into your own life and into the life you have together. There may be flaws you either did not want to see or thought would change. Believe me. No one changes. Don't push him into something that just might be a big mistake. Look down the road 5 or 10 years and see what life looks like with him just as he is today. Struggling with jobs, money and family.
2007-02-18 11:25:34 · answer #2 · answered by TillieDillie 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It is possible that he wants to go slower. Well, you have only 2 choises: accepting what he proposes and giving him some space and maybe everything will be fine, or confronting him about it and telling him your worries. Sounds like he wants to do more thinking, trying to build a better relationship rather than not being attracted to you.
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Well, tell him how you feel. Also ask him for how long is he going to practice abstinence and what does he believe it will help you guys achieve. Sex is normal part of an intimate adult relationship, not abnormal. So if he wants abstinence you should definitely find out what's the deal.
2007-02-18 10:45:17 · answer #3 · answered by Snowflake 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Don't have sex before marriage. He is growing in his faith and has become convicted of the sin. If he still wants to proceed to an eventual wedding day, then he still loves you. Sex before marraige is fornication, A SIN, Jesus died on the cross for that sin, and your fiance is correct, your fiance doesn't want to be a hypocrite. He wants a pure relationship before the Lord. This also honors you. 1. Cor. 6;18 [so this is in the new testament.]
first Corinthian, chapter 6 and verse 18.
2007-02-18 11:17:51 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
How was the sex between you to. Was his sex good? How about your sex was it good? Anyway, respect his wishes if he doesn't want to fornicate anymore. It can be hard sometimes not having sex ;especially when you are use to it on a regular basis. My friend and I had been having sex for 4 years and all of a sudden I wanted to stop. I told him I believe I'm having bad luck because I having sex. He told me I was full of bullshit. Anyways, if you think he is lying or not attractive to you anymore move on. You are still young; there are some horny young men out there.
2007-02-18 10:51:30 · answer #5 · answered by Proud Mommy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
properly hon, do no longer play with fire, you will get burned. he's wiser than you and he senses that indulging in "making out" will purely bring about problems. Making out with a guy can relatively get uncontrolled, fassssssssst !! Your boyfriend understand this (you do no longer). Oh, btw, the two considered one of you're way too youthful to be relationship. Are your mothers and fathers conscious which you're relationship? Do you have any form of supervision in any respect? If my counsel would not enable you to to confirm issues extra for sure, 'n "see the sunshine," then in line with danger you may desire to make a medical appointment to get delivery administration pills... S-O-O-N.
2016-10-02 08:50:49 · answer #6 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good for him! His conscious was bothering him and CHRISTmas gave him a wake-up call. Maybe he is disappointed that you did not maintain your virginity and he does want to cool the relationship. Faith and spirituality seems to mean more to him than it does to you.
I expect lot of 'bad answers' for my comments but that's O.K. Sometimes the truth just hurts.
2007-02-18 12:45:12 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he doesnt feel confident about his sexual performance?
well in my opinion the damage is done, you have already broke the vow to wait till marriage, so what is the big deal? sounds to me like he either has some intimacy issues or maybe he is uncertain about his own sexuality??? sorry. If you are having sex problems before your married imagine what it will be like 10 years from now? sounds like your sex life will be a bore or worse a non-existing one> good luck.
2007-02-18 10:48:45 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
You've both been pschologically damaged by the brainwashing that happens with religion.
He's isn't into you anymore and is using religion as an excuse.
Either that, or he finally has come to terms with the fact that he wants 'to play for the pink team'.
2007-02-18 10:49:54 · answer #9 · answered by Skyhawk 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Find somebody who does want to and start seeing him.
2007-02-18 12:53:58 · answer #10 · answered by prankshopz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋