females in the past, and I would do it again. It never went any further than that. I love men and sex with men. Lately there is a shortage of men in my small town, and I would consider "having fun" with a woman. However all the women I would consider are straight. I'm straight, too, but am I considered bi if I just wanna have some fun, not have a relationship? Any advice?? I would like to find another "straight" woman to play with. Does that make any sense? Or am I in denial of something? I'm 30.
2007-02-18 10:16:14 · 9 answers · asked by ididElvis 5 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Yes it makes sense entirely. I came from a small town too. I had the same problem just the other way around. You wish to experiment. Nothing wrong with that at all. Until the untils.
Until you consider.
1. The problem with small towns is that generally people have small visions. If caught in a relationship then you are tarnished permanently forever, even if the relationship is a only a temporary splurge.
One recommendation is to get into a relationship with someone in the nearest major urban center. This is supposed to be a fun recreational event but small towns are usually ornately Republican.
2. This is sex. No matter what. It is not a light thing. It is a major component in a relationship of marriage. Sex, even cyber fooling around is considered serious enough to be considered by courts as a point of adultery. While you appear minimal the other person may consider this a serious issue. Some people brush it off although their inner self believes otherwise.
Sex no matter the issue deals with hormones and hormones usually implicates emotions. Since you are asking I rather think you already have someone in mind. Never ever screw up a friendship with sex unless you're serious.
Even if you are not tied emotionally the other person may become emotionally involved. They call it love. 80% of all murders involve that aspect of humanity. People no matter what they say will become emotionally attached to the person they are having sex with.
There appears another issue here. It is the one that you are in denial about. When you say that there is a shortage of men well this statement can also be interpreted as that since you have been living in a small town you've gone through the candy store. Its a sales flyer not the the whole Sears Catalog. You need a larger inventory.
You imagine you are bi. But if you have to ask the question in the first place, and you did, it means that likely your not. It is a fantasy. Fantasies are healthy things. But adult relationships are a lot different than the juvenile titillation. Many males and females who are not gay sometimes imagine they are. However usually gays don't imagine they are anything else but wrongly gendered And none I've ever met even consider themselves heterosexual.
The best answer to this is to seriously consider moving. You are still very young and since you are it is easier to start now in a larger city where discretion is easier to maintain. You didn't mention why you are in the small town. Jobs can be had elsewhere. Well there are jobs for any girl with blond hair and a trick hip (according to Joan Rivers).
If it is a family issue, then that is more complex. If you aren't happy then you must make your family understand. Your first choice should be to change towns. If your not happy with the church, change bishoprics. If that doesn't work only then you can change denominatons.
If there is no other choice, and you to have fun since I do think you have targeted someone make sure. If you do want to fool around with another straight woman in a small town make sure that you guys or gals exercise absolute discretion. Even contemplate a shopping trip to the next community over. Don't fool around in town and get caught.
And remember you have a fantasy, make sure the fantasy doesn't crush you if you decide to act on it. I wouldn't want you to feel guilty or hurt about this relationship, one or ten years down the road.
Good luck there.
2007-02-18 11:15:21 · answer #1 · answered by gordc238 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is really hard to put a label on someone with just a few sentences about them.
Look, ask yourself some questions. Are you attracted to women or sex? If the answer is women your probably bi-sexual. If it is just sex then you are probably addicted to sex. Look when I was 30 I was more active and wanted sex more. When women hit 30 that is their sexual peak. However, I got the job done if no one was available if you know what I mean. By being interested in other women my guess is that you might be bi.
Look, just some advise. Take some time to figure yourself out before getting yourself involved with someone else. It isn't fair to you or your partner if you don't.
Good luck to you.
2007-02-18 18:32:36 · answer #2 · answered by Nancy S. 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As long as you are open and honest from the start, I find it hard to believe you couldn't find some woman to have fun with...sometimes that's all some of them want. Let them know right away that you generally like men and have no desire for a long term relationship and let them then decide if they want to be with you. We hate labels, but I would consider you bisexual by your description of yourself. Don't fret about it. Relax and have fun and hopefully you will find someone to join you. Good luck.
2007-02-18 18:27:18 · answer #3 · answered by truckinotter 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There's nothing wrong with what you're feeling. I'm in my mid 20's and I'm basically the same way, except that I've done more than kiss women and I came to terms with it a few years ago. Despite the archaic lessons we were taught as girls growing up, women are highly sexual creatures, there's nothing wrong with it. You might be suprised at how many of your "straight" female friends have similar feelings and are just afraid to express them.
And don't worry about finding a label for yourself. You're sexual and you're curious. Leave it at that.
2007-02-18 18:32:52 · answer #4 · answered by OhKatie! 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just because you aren't interested in a relationship with women doesn't mean you are straight. Just because you like kissing them doesn't necessarily mean you're gay either.
Easy answer? I'd say you're curious and sexual motivated. It's an open answer so technically, you can't be wrong.
2007-02-18 19:21:50 · answer #5 · answered by Ash 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't say Bi but it could be seen as sluty ( no judgement from me) but some people may concider it that way...as long as it feels good, do it.
2007-02-18 18:19:47 · answer #6 · answered by Spades Of Columbia 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
your not in denial or you wouldn't be assessing yourself....I think there is no need to label yourself...you are sexual and that's all that matters....don't worry about slapping a label from society on your back....be yourself and enjoy!
reported filthy ho
2007-02-18 18:24:11 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
try not to hurt anyone or get hurt in the process.
2007-02-18 19:20:35 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are not in denial!
2007-02-18 18:19:52 · answer #9 · answered by andy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋