Due to a vicious combination of obvious physical defects and flaws in my personality, I have been completely alone for the past two years and have never had much luck convincing women to find me worthy of interest prior to this.
While I make every attempt to attract the interest of women, I suspect that the fact that women are predisposed to ignore those with any form of physical defect, in my case an amputated right ear and deformation of the surrounding skin from a condition known as hematoma auris, will condemn me to permanent loneliness.
Recognition of this fact, coupled with the fact that I really don't want to keep dragging out my life if can expect to be alone throughout the rest of it, has lead to an almost complete loss of fear. I have found that I no longer back down from aggressive verbal altercations, nor fear physical injury.
I wonder if "fearlessness" is really little more then the loss of the desire to live.
2007-02-18 09:54:53 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
I wish things were better for you but you also have to realize that some people out there actually have it worse. What I think is interesting about your situation is that you are fixing your own situation in a way. If you are looking far a short term roll in the hay kind of thing then being fearless and bold will do it for you. If you are looking for a long term relationship then you have to find a gal who is willing to look past what has happened to you. I know that is a hell of a lot harder to do than it is to say but hey look at it like this ... I see guys all the time that are just nasty looking walking with gals that are smoking hot its got to work somehow. Best of luck. keep going. dont give up it will work out. they can see when someone gives up then you will get NOTHING dont quit.
2007-02-18 10:08:36 · answer #1 · answered by kb3hmj 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
the personality flaws will detract more than only having 1 ear. check out cosmetic surgery, maybe something can be done to make it less noticeable. grow your hair long. you may never be able to wear glasses, but what the hey. after people get used to seeing a defect on a person, they will forget its there, unless youve developed an attitude because of it. the desire not to live could be a part of it, coupled with being generally pissed off because your in this position. if your alone the rest of your life, it wont be because of your lack of earage. you can use your fearlessness to your advantage if you can control it. a friend of mine was zapped working on a power line which resulted in the loss of half an arm and 2 fingers on the other hand. he had no problem getting women cause he was a nice guy. he was also short and loosing his hair. the personality is the key. theres a fine line between aggression and confidence. your job, if you decide to take it, will be to find that line and use it to your advantage. if you forget about your deformity, others will too. this tape will self destruct in...........
2007-02-18 18:32:11 · answer #2 · answered by chris l 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear Fearless, just last week I watched the Oprah show and she talked about "The Secret " to a better life in all areas. If you concentrate too much on the negative you put out negative vibes. You have to be positive so that the energy around you attracts other people. Do not concentrate on the physical defects you have, but rather look at the good within you. What you are going though atm is a from of depression and you should talk to your physician about that. It is really important that you talk about your feelings and be open. God bless you and I am sure there is someone for you out there that will eventually share their life with you.
2007-02-18 18:58:55 · answer #3 · answered by oma_4x 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi Tyler:
As you mentioned, you had trouble with attracting the interest of women before your deformation occurred. You said you "had flaws" in your personality (we all do to some extent). Have you ever sought out the help of a therapist? I feel that you were an angry person who became angrier once you had the amputation of your ear. I am not belittling your concerns, but a person who is unhappy within themselves can convince themselves of many reasons for rejection: overweight, wrinkles, baldness, acne scars, too short, too tall, etc. etc. The truth is, even some of the best looking people have trouble finding and/or keeping love. I have seen pictures of remarkably natural looking ear prostheses.
Is it possible to consult with a doctor on this? Also, have you ever been guilty of ignoring a possible partner because you think she has a defect or is not physically attractive? Try to look within yourself, get counseling and possible corrective surgery. Best wishes to you.
2007-02-18 22:18:15 · answer #4 · answered by 13th Floor 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Though fear is the opposite of love, not feeling fear is not necessarily love, as you must have experienced.
It is love that you need to work on. Like always attracts like. When you are a loving person you will attract loving women. That is just the way the universe works. When appearances aren't important to you, you will attract those to whom they are not important.
Godspeed on your journey.
2007-02-18 18:48:33 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust me, you can find someone. I bet that those dating websites will get you a bit of attention. From what I've heared, they work well.
2007-02-18 18:27:07 · answer #6 · answered by joe momma 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you might be right.
2007-02-18 18:01:53 · answer #7 · answered by Wendy C 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋