I feel so low, because that's what I did this morning. I know in my heart it was the right thing to do... it's sparing him more pain down the road... but even so, I feel rotten.
When I finally knew and admitted to myself I was a lesbian, very recently, I sorta lied to myself to ignore reality... "Oh, I'm bi... I can still be with a man..." But I can't. He doesn't deserve that. I need and want to be with a woman to be satisfied, whole.
I didn't leave him for a woman--there is no "other woman" in the picture... so I didn't cheat on him.
Did any of you maintain the "lie" of being with a man even after you knew it wasn't really what you were about? Did I make the right choice in breaking things off with him now, or should I have eased into it over a period of weeks or months?
I don't feel ashamed of my sexuality, quite the opposite. But I feel like I let down a very, very good person who loved (and still loves) me in a way that I can't honestly return.
2007-02-18 09:35:10 · 8 answers · asked by Rissa 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
I so know where you are coming from here. I dated guys up till the age of 25 even though I had thoughts about women. Looking back, it feels like I have wasted many years of my life being with men I didn't really want to be with, or who I wasn't really attracted to.
Without a shadow of a doubt you have done the right thing. You are being cruel to be kind and I really admire that.
You will probably find that you will be much happier in life now.
2007-02-18 10:19:21 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i ended up dating guys till i was 16-17 as a lie to myself telling myself i was straight. i cudnt help that every time i saw a hot girl go by i was soooo physically and sexually attracted to her, but i was never like that with my bfs.
2007-02-18 10:04:55 · answer #2 · answered by orange_crush_05 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're a lesbian? Cool! Yes, you did the right thing.
2007-02-18 09:39:55 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You did the right thing.
2007-02-18 10:20:45 · answer #4 · answered by What'd You Say? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well, you have to be happy and breaking up with him now was better than leading him on. you're right he doesn't deserve that. trust me, you made the right decision.
2007-02-18 09:58:13 · answer #5 · answered by rt1290 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
yea thats because i love girls and i never loved him
2007-02-19 04:03:04 · answer #6 · answered by Miss Lynnetta 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i did... i broke up with my boyfriend when i found out i was lesbian... i did the same thing u did... i was lieing to myself too... i kept tell my self im bi... but i couldnt take it anymore... i only like girls now... i still love my x-bf but like a brother... were bestfriends now... and we hang out and act like really really close brother and sister (like the ones that dont fight with eachother)... we sit together at lunch and everything... and he has a new gf... and its fine with me but it makes me jelous of him lol... cuz his new gf is my best friend who i have had a crush on for like ever lol... but shes not bi... i told her i was bi when i was bi so she still thinks im just bi but im too afraid to tell her im lesbian... i dont know y tho cuz i tell her everything... i think its cuz i like her too much to tell her... but yeah... anyway... i think u did the right thing... just stay friends with him tho... it will make u feel less rotten... do what i did... instead of being his gf (girlfriend) be his bff (best friend forever) and hang out... and keep loving him... but as a brother... it may seem really hard to do at first (trust me it most likely will be very hard) but just try... if u kissed him it will be very hard to hang out with him... i kissed my x-bf while we were going out just 3 times... and it was the hardest thing ever to hang out with him... but then i just didnt worry about it anymore... i just got more and more used to hanging out with him and now we are bff lol... and we love eachother like brother and sister and we tell eachother everything... and we walk to class sometimes and just talk about the most random and funniest things ever... and we like to tickel eachother from time to time too... lol... so yeah just keep talking to him dont completly shut him out of ur life like i did at first cuz then its harder to talk to him again so dont think "i broke up with him so now i shouldnt talk to him any more" dont say/think that! just keep being his friend and hang out and talk and u'll feel so much better in no time... another advantage to this is if he hangs out with alot of his friends that r girls and they r hott you can hang out with them too haha... my x-bf has a ton of friends that r girls and they r smokin hott and we hang out alot lol... so yeah u did a good thing but keep him in ur life and dont shut him out...
i hope this helped u... email me sumtime too...
2007-02-18 10:09:52 · answer #7 · answered by I am me and thats all i can be 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
when he kills himself, i bet you just say..oh well
2007-02-18 10:10:10 · answer #8 · answered by packard t 1 · 2⤊ 6⤋