How to win heart of wife?

Question

Hello there, recently I got married in a traditional arranged marriage way. Unfortunately, I found out the girl was forced to marriage by parents and she loves someone else. She is reluctant to open up due to social pressure. any suggestions on how to work out in this situation.

Hello there, recently I got married in a traditional arranged marriage way. Unfortunately, I found out the girl was forced to marriage by parents and she loves someone else. She is reluctant to open up due to social pressure. any suggestions on how to work out in this situation. Another twist is, person she loved is also married strangely enough in arranged marriage. Now I am in out of courty for work. :-(

ppppppppppp

Answer 1

LOVE HER MORE THAN ANYBODY ELSE.

Answer 2

This is a hard one to answer. I have heard of arranged marriages working out better than people who have married on their own. You may not can win her heart but time and lots of patience on your part may help You don't say how you feel about her Do you love her? If you do, back off, and just leave her alone. Let her know you love her and that can be done by just being there and not expecting anything (such as intimacy) from her. If she feels obligated then she will only learn to dislike you and the stiuation more. If you are a Christian, much prayer and even counseling with a Christian counselor or pastor could help but try just giving her some time
It's a shame she was forced into something that could hurt you both I am just assuming that at least she is not from the US unless she is but her family still holds to tradition.
Let's hope she will give you a chance to show that you care and want this marriage to work Show her you can be trusted and she will eventually open up to you

Answer 3

I think you need to sit down and have a talk with your wife. Explain everything to her. Tell her you were unaware of her situation and that if she wants you will divorce her as long as she can guarantee that she will be happier after the divorce. Ask her where will she go? She can't go to her parents house in case they get her re married and who knows how her next husband will be? he might beat her, hit her rape her, etc etc. She cannot go to the guy because if he loved her he would of ran off with her before any of them got married. Even if he does live with her, what will be the guarantee he will not leave her under pressure again, he done it once before. You need to be her friend rather then a husband. She needs a good friend at this point more then a husband, Tell her you know it will take time and you will wait until she is ready to except you as a husband, but until then you can be good friends.

Then what you have to do is be patient it may take a couple of months or a year but if you don't force her for anything, treat her like a friend, talk to her flirt with her, sleep on the same bed but no touching only arm around her to hug her. Take her out, buy her gifts, give it time she will eventually give in and fall in love with you.

Answer 4

First of all, do you believe in true love? Would you be happy if you had been forced to marry someone other than the person you truly loved? The decision is yours and no I don't believe in arranged marriages even if it's a culture of sorts. In this day and age one should be allowed to marry who they desire or love. You may never find love with her if she is forced by culture to be with you. I'm sorry if you don't believe this but if I were you I would set her free and tell your parents and hers that the arrangement has failed and that you both are going your separate ways. Just because it may have worked for them doesn't mean that tradition can hold true. I hope you understand and talk to her about it.

Answer 5

My first suggestion would be to talk to others who have been in your situation. I'm sure you will be able to find someone you can talk to. Maybe one of your other friends who have been in an arranged marriage? A parent or aunt or uncle?
I don't understand your comment about her reluctance to open up due to social pressure?
I can only imagine the pain and sadness she is feeling right now and I bet she is in a way mourning the loss of the though of being with this other person who you say she loves.
You need to talk to her and be honest with her. If this is how your marriage will be, then hopefully in time she will fall in love with you too.
Wishing you all the best.

Answer 6

You know your arranged marriage is not the only that survived in this situation. You have to understand time is on your side. You are the one married to her. Yes she may carry feeling for another man but who is to say your marriage is not meant to be. You are married right?

You have to work to become her friend and giver her time to see you. Right now she is in pain for loosing the man she loves. Give her time to heal and just be available to her in anyway you can. As the both of you go through everyday married life the routine brings about a certain familiarity that can lead to real love.

Just be a loving husband and she will eventually become a loving wife.

Answer 7

The reason why you both are married is because you were meant to be married to each other. So many people cross our lives and why do we get married to just that one person? It is because you both are made for each other. Learn to love your wife and you will find out that this is true. Talk to her and understand her. Tell her about your dreams and feelings. Take opportunities to express your love for her. You can either make or break your life. Everything is in your hands. It is not easy but very hard work. Every successful marriage is not readymade, it is sheer hard work from both the partners. All the best!!

Answer 8

Unfortunately, when it comes to love it can be only arranged in the sense where two hearts & souls bond because of fate and destiny. Love can not be forced or conquered...she may be your wife but you don't have her heart & soul at least not for now.

You have to get to know her as your best friend and understand her desires, aspirations and what's inportant to her. This will not happen overnight its a gradual process where as you begin to know her then she'll get to know you...respect you, trust you and desire you...and she'll may begin to understand that she's married a wonderful, caring, supportive husband who loves her unconditionally. Her love for you will begin to grow. Take one day at a time. On the downside of it is that she may always have this other guy in her heart however she'll come to terms that he's also someone else's husband. Open, clear communication is the key to understanding one another and growing passionate about one another

Although, traditional arranged marriage is an avenue for a having a wife or husband, however one's mission in life is to have a love that loves you unconditionally not for the sake of being married.

God Bless

Answer 9

First thing you must do, is recognize that you just can't turn back time, you look too targeted in your prior, consider it or not. Its great to over, however its YOU that wishes to focus on YOU. You will have to go and talk to a reliable counselor, a person, who will have a greater figuring out of the issues youve had. It is going to exhibit your wife, youre making a honest effort and support you handle whats been done. Dont be one of these guys that claims "oh i dont ought to see anyone for support, i am too macho...Too proud, blah blah blah", it takes a higher man to search aid when support is needed. That you can also endorse that you simply put aside quarter-hour a day, per day, to talk about with your spouse the times pursuits, that means things on no account build up right into a main issue. Is there something that occurred in these days that wants addressing? Something, it is going to also reteach you the right way to keep in touch. Now, i dont comprehend what you did, what has occurred. In case you cheated on her ,well then, omit the entire above, (that's my opinion best, as to me thats a executed deal, its over). However you didnt provide the small print particularly. You additionally ought to recognize methods to argue, Arguing is just right. However you dont elevate your voices, you sit down lightly and discuss the issues. If she starts yelling you must factor that out, well, sweetly as you say. As your self, are you definite youre nonetheless "in love" together with her?? In case your not, or she shouldn't be, then theres no factor, not up to 5 percentage ever get that back in a wedding as soon as its long past. Do things across the apartment, make it habit. Cook dinner dinner for her a few times every week, but not just for a couple of weeks, dont do some thing for a "month", you need to hold it up, A successful marriage is a full time job and requires full time effort to make it final and develop higher. Good luck

Answer 10

I am sorry, but i dont think you are going to convince her to love you...her heart is somewhere else and it will stay there,especially since she is married now and really cant be with him...you should let her go. I know some countries still believe in arranged marriages but most of us dont agree with that, you just cant make someone love you like that....sorry again...good luck though.

Answer 11

Give it time and compassion. It takes a while for someone to open up as in this type of relationship. If she is in love with someone else it could be a ruff road to travel. You both need to talk this out and let each other know what is expected. Give your wife some time and keep plowing away at winning her respect and understanding and she will open up.