I have just broken up from a long term relationship after almost 8 years, and there are some things that I want to get off my chest before I well and truly move on. Should I send him an email telling him what he did that hurt me and that I know that I did not treat him very nicely at the end? We were together for a long time and he has already moved on to another girl (possible a rebound) because the break up hurt us both so much. I want to wish him all the best as well, I don't want this to have ended on a bad note.
2007-02-18 08:52:42 · 19 answers · asked by Jasmina 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If it gives you closure to disclose those things you mentioned, then it can't hurt. If there are unresolved issues or concerns, then yes- let him know what they are, and offer your best wishes as you make the move to go forward in your life.
2007-02-18 08:57:30 · answer #1 · answered by restless_nymph 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, I would send him a personal written letter - not email - just of personal opinion and express your "hurt" and also your admitting to your being not too nice toward the end of the relationship. Be blunt, yet open and honest, but tactful at the same time.
Only you in your heart know what you should write and only you should know in your heart that you may not regret either a) breaking up with him b) moving forward c) you learning to heal and further your journey.
There is a great book out there called "feel the fear but do it anyways" - personal choice -
I wish you all the very best that you wish yourself.
Peace
2007-02-18 08:59:34 · answer #2 · answered by Porshe B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may need the catharsis of telling him what's on your mind, but...BUT...DON'T DO IT IN AN EMAIL, unless you use a throw-away email address, that is. Otherwise, you're only inviting him back into your life whenever he so chooses to be via your email account.
Perhaps you need to ask yourself, too, whether or not you are good and truly over him. A hurt is a hurt is a hurt and prolonging the agony doesn't help the healing process any.
Maybe just writing all of this stuff you've got percolating in a diary or a journal of your own will help get rid of these feelings you're left with. I'd get it out on paper, though I might not need to mail it to him once I did. He's gonna be hurt and defensive anyway and why intrude on his new relationship if you truly want to wish him well...just let him be.
and you, too, should HEAL THYSELF.
2007-02-18 09:05:54 · answer #3 · answered by Moe J 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You possibly think that this will clear things up and end on a better note by telling him how he hurt you? Let it be..you have cut it off and so has he. Do not send him an email..this will make you seem scorned, bitter, or even jealous..which I am sure you do not want him to think you are any of these things. So you made some bad choices during the end..I am sure he already knows and he is not jumping to let you know how he screwed up..let him move on and good luck with doing the same.
2007-02-18 09:00:18 · answer #4 · answered by Maybe I am a smartass..so what 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I ended an 7 1/2 year relationship myself a year ago. Even though there were things I wanted to say after the fact, it was better that we made a clean break and moved on. It was best for both of us. So, my advice to you is unless you want him back, then you should leave it alone and move one.
2007-02-18 09:11:14 · answer #5 · answered by You Don't Know Me! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is not your business if he has rebounded or not. You guys are done and let that be the end of it. If there were time for feelings to be spared it would have been when you were trying to save the marriage.
Let him live his life and you live your life.
It the relationship was that dear to you being long term you could have stretched it out longer-so just suck up and let it go.
2007-02-18 09:05:00 · answer #6 · answered by Arene 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say do it in person but then again that might cause more drama. You never know you both might get back together because it might be something he can fix he probably hasn't moved on he might just be with her to feel complete since you all were together for so long maybe he is just with her to feel that empty space that was there when you all broke up.
2007-02-18 08:56:42 · answer #7 · answered by ho0k4 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You do whatever makes your heart feel better. Releasing what you have held in can only help in your recovery process. Don't worry yourself with his life now because you are no longer a part of that. Well wishes are OK but can be taken otherwise. I suggest freeing your self of your burdens and closing the book after. Good luck.
2007-02-18 09:03:27 · answer #8 · answered by #1 saints fan 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why would you want to dredge up more unpleasantness for your ex are you so hellbent on making sure you get your digs in that you would be so immature and to drag it out? Drop it. He is your EX now...it's over, done with Move on.
2007-02-18 09:35:33 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely send the e-mail. It will be therapeutic for you (and maybe him . . . ). I believe in good closure.
Just be prepared to receive an incoming e-mail from him that may not make you all that happy. HOWEVER, I still believe you should send it.
Good luck to you as you embark on your new life.
2007-02-18 09:09:22 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋