I've not spoken to my close female friend for 3 months as we got to close.I told her that I wanted no contact so that I could get over my feelings for her. She only wanted to be friends.
She's txt bck:i really do not have the energy to keep explaining things to you.I will be civil but i'm afraid i feel the close friendship is lost...........
We MET ON FRIDAY at a friends party,we spoke a lot,but she still looked hurt+uncomfortable at times.
I apologised for hurting her i.e. wanting no contact - she snaped bck saying YOU NEVER HURT ME! GOOD/BAD RESPONSE??
I asked her if she'll join us on our group roadtrips - she said YES! - A POSITIVE SIGN OF FRIENDSHIP RESTARTING???
As she left I said that hopefully/possibly see you in a few months -she replied I'll see you at the roadtrip - we said bye and she gave me a tight hug - ANOTHER POSITIVE SIGN???
She needed a hug from my mate as it was too much for her to take in!
IS THE FRIENDSHIP REALLY LOST???Why she hurt???
2007-02-18 08:48:09 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
WOW. i'm going to answer this in order from each paragraph:
-you definitely shouldnt have told her you wanted no contact. just be friends man!
-the txt message she sent at that time meant that she WANTS you to like her but deep inside she's afraid she's doing something wrong..
-if she lookd hurt/uncomfortable i think she wasn't sure about "liking" you as more then a friend. trust me, women have their doubts on men they like.
-well if she snapped it back then...DUH of course she was hurt! thats a bad response!
-yeah, thats a positive sign. she probably doesnt like like you anymore but definitely wants to be friends.
-hug...definitely positive sing.
-OUCH, the her hugging your mate was to probably show you that she's still hurt by you but is going towards being friends again.
-no, i don;t think your friendship is completely lost...maybe just on ice? try not to hurt again... if you want to disagree with her, say it in a nice way!
2007-02-18 09:00:51 · answer #1 · answered by Ice Baby 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Obviously your feelings are not the same. It is very hard to have a friendship with someone who wants more and sometimes it is selfish when the person who does not want more than friendship to let the other person go because that person is nice and they do not want to hurt them.
The person is going to hurt no matter what you do-they just need time to get over it. It is probably hurting her more with you going in and out of her life knowing htat she like you more than a friendship.
Think about how you would feel if the shoe was on the other foot. Read the poem ok:
Now That’s Love
I know what love is like:
Truly loving someone is giving them the freedom to love you or not
Truly loving yourself is choosing to be someone who uses that freedom to love you
Yea, now that’s love
June 19, 2006 by Arene
Copyrighted
2007-02-18 16:56:30 · answer #2 · answered by Arene 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, the friendship is not lost, you just need to take it slow and let time heal all. She is adjusting to the new weight that was placed on your friendship when the lines of friendship were crossed. This can only put a strain on both of you as apparently it should never have happened if all you want was to be friends. So just sit back and quit trying to make excuses and the making her feel even more uncomfortable. Let the friendship grow as it will naturally don't force it.
2007-02-18 16:56:23 · answer #3 · answered by mellow 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are wise to take the time to get yourself together especially if she said she only wanted to be your friend. The friendship is not lost but take it slow. I think you did hurt her feelings it's hard to know that a close friend needs space but she will come to see it was the best thing to do.
2007-02-18 17:41:04 · answer #4 · answered by J D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not lost, but it's going to take a lot of work on your part to bring it back to the level you were used to before it was wounded. Go slowly, but watch for signs like hugs or smiles that tell you that she wants to move faster. Don't push her into the same kind of friendship when she may not be ready to go back to where you were.
2007-02-18 16:53:05 · answer #5 · answered by sarahpsdad 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She sounds like she is trying to move past the way she feels but it probley does get to her when you bring it up. She does not want to be reminded about how she feels..she already knows. Do not get to close to her on the trip..this could be a bad thing if she gets the wrong idea..give her space and do not bring it up.
2007-02-18 17:21:58 · answer #6 · answered by Maybe I am a smartass..so what 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you still want to be more than friends. You want a lot of contact with her and you desperately need her in your life. Speak to her about how you really feel and see what she says. Talk to her alone and in person.
2007-02-18 16:52:36 · answer #7 · answered by helplessromatic2000 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well did you hurt her? i think that she still has tons of feelings for you. I pretty much kindof act like this with this guy that I was almost with but then we decided to be just friends. I still like him so much, but im not showing it, but when he hugs me and stuff, i dont ever want him to let me go. Sounds like shes in the same situation. She still has feelings for you bud.
2007-02-18 16:53:49 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
hmm, are you SURE she only wanted friendship too?? honesty is the best way to go....tell her how you really feel.why fight it? if all she wants is to be your friend,accept that and tell her you will......try ...and go from there.
there were lots of positives and she did talk to you ...which is a good sign......
2007-02-18 17:30:17 · answer #9 · answered by STARZ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋