Did I make the right choice?

Question

Made the right decision?
I was dating my bf for a long time and then I met this great guy. For the first time I was able to talk in a long while. I always wanted to know what's out there, and I couldn't talk to my bf about it. We broke up and for a year my bf tried while I was developing feelings even stronger for this guy. I know my ex loves me to death. I picked the new guy and just left my ex without telling him anything, but I wonder is it novelty, fate, am I delusional? I don't want my ex to move on, but I can't stop this attraction to another. I feel as though I put my ex in a situation he couldn't win. Did I make a mistake b/c I can't get over my ex. Could this fail with my new love.

Answer 1

Of course it could fail. He could find himself in the situation you've just described.

It's all a gamble. Have no regrets and find joy.

Answer 2

The "butterfly" stuff lasts about two years, max... interesting that you state you don't want your " ex (boy friend) to move on...." oh, keeping him as the Jerk in Reserve? He might have something to say about that, hon.

Did you make the right choice??? Depends upon what you are looking for in a relationship, and frankly, just how stable you yourself are... and from your note here, not very stable, or very young and inexperienced.... People do indeed move on, timing is very important in making a choice.... but here is some help, if this new one doesn't work out either...
1. The only thing good reheated is stuffed cabbage.

Relationships work best when the two have similar backgrounds, language, heritage, race, religion, politics, hobbies, education, and personalities.... A hot head will never get along with someone somewhat cerebral and bright. Relationships work best when each is careful of the other's feelings, and each learns to solve problems without resentment and rage, and when each remain kind to the other, and puts that person's wishes first.... it is then always a win-win situation.... Your question here just oozes the fact that you are quite immature, and looking out for your own wishes, and tho that is certainly not wrong, be sure that your own wishes are within the abilities of the person you choose.... as an example, if you are extremely religious, and wish to be in a religious situation every single day, and your partner is not at all, obviously that would be quite a strain, wouldn't it....and if he ablolutely wanted children, and you absolutely did not, that is pretty much of a deal breaker....

Love is a funny thing --- respect, admiration, passion and trust, and love erodes when any of these get lost.....

Do some reading, sweetie.... you really need to find out how your head is screwed on, and what is important to you in a prospective life partner.

Answer 3

Wow. That's quite a predicament. You were not really in love with your ex any longer, at least from what I take from your question. You stopped growing. You were dead, comfortable perhaps, but dead. That's no way to go through life.

The one thing I could find fault with you is that you didn't give your ex any explanation as to why you broke it off. That's the only thing . . . he deserves to know that you felt like life was passing you by, that you weren't experiencing the events that would help you realize the dreams you hold in your heart. He deserved that.

Good luck to you and your new beau.

Answer 4

I feel as though you should talk to your ex honestly tell him how you feel and answer the questions which i am sure he has to asked. Try not to yell at each other cause that will never solve anything. Also look inside your self and ask yourself why did I really leave my boyfriend for this other guy. I also think that you should be honest with your current boyfriend to. It is all about honesty and communication.

Answer 5

I was in this similar situation, where I was the person who was the ex. really, even though you still have feelings for your ex, just move on because now things will not ever be the same. give you new love a chance and if it happens to not work out; just move on and start fresh.

Answer 6

It sounds like you kinda left the relationship with your ex sort of hanging. Basically, there's unfinished business there. You both need closure on the relationship. Meet your ex somewhere neutral (like lunch) and just tell him what you've just told us. Tell him that while you still like him as a person, you've met someone who you really may be falling in love with. Yes, this will hurt your ex, but it sounds like he may need to hear it, so that he can move on with his life.

Also, make sure your current boyfriend knows you're planning to do this, because if he doesn't, you having lunch with your ex boyfriend can be construed in many different ways...most of them negatively!! Good luck!

Answer 7

WELL I FEEL IF YOU WANDERING ALL ALONG WHAT ELSE WAS OUT THERE THEN YOU DID THE RIGHT THING FOR BOTH OF YOU I KNOW YOU HAD FEELINGS FOR THE EX BUT IF YOU HAD TO FIND OUT IF ANYTHING BETTER WAS OUT THERE IT MEANT YOUR FEELINGS FOR HIM WERE NOT AS STONG AS HIS FOR YOU SO LET THE EX GO LET HIM FIND SOMEONE WHO WILL TRULY NEVER WONDER IF THERE IS SOMEONE BETTER THAN HIM OUT THERE AND IF YOU CANNOT GET OVER YOUR FEELINGS FOR HIM THEN I THINK YOU OWE IT TO YOUR CURRENT BF AND TELL HIM DONT MAKE THE SAME MISTAKE TWICE AND IF YOU AND THE CURRENT BF BREAK IT OFF TAKE THE TIME TO FIND THE RIGHT GUY WHO WILL NEVER MAKE YOU WANDER AGAIN GOOD LUCK

Answer 8

Sounds like you will always think that the grass is always greener on the other side. You made your decision. Leave the poor guy alone. You can't have two relationships that would not be fair to either guy. You want to be wanted. Don't we all.

Answer 9

Take a few minutes and do a little role reversal.
Put yourself in your ex boyfriends shoes.
Put your ex boyfriend in your shoes.
Honestly ask yourself how YOU would want OR prefer to be treated.
How would YOU feel?

Answer 10

you did something without thinking it through. if you still love your ex then you should be with him......i think that you like knowing you have a saftey net to fall back on if this new relationship doesnt work out......it keeps you in power and no matter what you wont be alone but your ex is paying the price b/c he thinks he loves someone who clearly doesnt love him b/c if you loved him you wouldnt do that to him no matter what....u don't deserve your ex......sorry but its the truth.........