So now Ihave dated many chicks over the years. Now I have a white friend I date sometimes. I always noticed that when we are both approaching a door she will stand there and wait for me to open it. There are other examples, I can't really explain them all, but she makes it easy for me to be a gentleman.
Often when I am with a sister I find myself racing her to the door. I have even been with black girls who who said they dont like to be treated like ladies. Why is that?
Here is the reason for chivalry: the woman bears the children, it is important to keep her hands clean and free from disease, she is to be protected.
So whats the problem sisters? Im not saying all of you, but many of you.
2007-02-18 08:08:55 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Other - Cultures & Groups
Dopest Ethiopian - I dont NEED help being a gentleman, but why is it some women make it so darn difficault.
2007-02-18 08:20:41 · update #1
Finley - what they say is simlar to the first answerer.
2007-02-18 08:21:59 · update #2
WHY DO I EVEN BOTHER TYPING "SOME" or "MANY" WHEN ALL PEOPLE READ IS ALL.
True there are white girls who dont like to be pampered Im sure, but I've never dated any. Its always the black girls that complain about it "I dont need you to open a door for me," but when the check comes all of a sudden they are old fashioned again.
Act as if - sorry, I didnt realize "chick" was considered derogatory, but yes I was born in the 70's. Late 70's.
2007-02-18 08:45:41 · update #3
Well, I don't care for chivalry; I do not plan on getting married or having children so why do I need men to do anything for me like pay for the check or open the door? I mean you can if you want to, but please don't think that I'm waiting on you to do it
2007-02-20 14:15:50 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
dude, you're right. I have had the same issues with some black women more so than women of other races.
I think black women throughout history have had to learn how to survive alone. Rarely was there a rich black guy who was going to come along and make all there hardships go away, so black women have had to know how to survive without a man around.
I do think it's unfortunate though because most men want a woman who can accept being treated like a woman and if a significant number of black women can't do that then that's only going to degrade the black family... in the long run at least
2007-02-18 08:32:17 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes, as you are approaching the door, take a step ahead of her, and just open the door, or say, "let me get the door for you", or something to that effect.
If you are with someone who does not experience a man being a gentleman in her presence, here's an idea: when you are getting in the car, walk around to the passenger side with her, open the door, when you arrive at your destination, make sure that you tell her I'll get the door. Some of us Black females are accustomed to men being gentlemen and we expect doors to be opened, chairs to be pulled out for us, to helped with our coats, to have the shopping or grocery bags carried for us, and some have not experienced that. I do not know a single "sista" who doesn't like this kind of treatment. And it works both ways....I enjoy pampering.... and doing little random acts of kindness for my man...he loves it.
I was so happy to read that you're a gentleman, and that chivalry is indeed not "dead", keep it up!!!
2007-02-18 08:27:40 · answer #3 · answered by Lottalady 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
There is no controversy-- Vogue magazine and the Associated Press went out to stir up a controversy and it still hasn't happened! Why would there be controversy when Black men and white women (and visa versa) have been with each other for years? I guess when you put a photo on a magazine for white teen girls, they are supposed to be so impressionable that they start running after Black men? I will say that it would have been nice to see the first Black man on the cover of Vogue in a suit, with or without the white female.
2016-03-29 01:42:48 · answer #4 · answered by Teresa 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You probably won't like this answer..but here it is anyway....
I believe that many women (not just black women) are taught they have to be strong and lead the way, because if they don't, no one else is going to do it for them. In today's society, many men are not the head of the household (even if a man is there), and if the women didn't run it with a firm hand, then it would get out of control. Another reason may be that they are used to doing things for themselves, or maybe they don't feel they deserve to be treated like a lady. I guess it just depends on the person. I know many black women that want and expect to be treated like a lady.
2007-02-18 08:20:27 · answer #5 · answered by sassy_395 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Some women are just more independent and dominate then others, this has nothing to with race. A lot of Black women love a gentlemen. I personally don't want a man to do everything for me but I like the little things like opening up the door.
2007-02-18 08:23:34 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
A lot of guys (black and white and pink and green) don't treat a lady like a lady. Maybe they aren't used to being treated as such. (pity) Some cultures think they have an image to uphold. I personally don't think it makes you any less of a woman if the man treats you like a lady and opens the door or pulls the chair out for you. I can still kick someone's butt if they get in my face.
sign me,
A Lady
pssssst: hats off to you for being a gentleman.
2007-02-18 08:15:33 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Ok O.J. let me break it down to you...
If you were really a gentleman, no ones behavior (black or white) would have an effect on that fact. If racing to the door is what you have to do to exhibit this characteristic, then put on your running shoes and save your .02.
The fact that you called women "chicks" lets us all know that your opinion is limited to thinking from the 70's at best. The fact that you have trouble finding positives about your own race is also very disturbing.
Until that fact makes sense to you, How about you not say anything to anyone about anything.
2007-02-18 08:27:51 · answer #8 · answered by act as if 4 · 3⤊ 2⤋
Coming from a black woman, you're dating the wrong black women. Simple as. Mix in different circles. Try the Afro Punk website for calmer, more alternative women. Although saying "chick" might not endear you too them too much. It's a bit demeaning...
2007-02-18 09:51:26 · answer #9 · answered by Heleana 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Brotha man, it all derives from slavery. White sistas have always been taken care of from the white man. whereas sistas have had to make a way for herself and kids. so the need for independency comes from her past and spirit. The only problem I see is a lot of sistas forget is that along with independency comes responsibility. Some sistas black or white don't know that there are men who will treat them with repsect (like a lady), so if there only with nuckleheads then maybe thats all theyll know unless we show them what its like to be with a real man!!!
2007-02-18 09:52:17 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋