Im a 19 yr old college student and im pregnant. Recently had an abortion so im scared to tell my parents again

Question

My parents are very strict but i am determined to keep my baby. I however come from a very conservative society. Also, i depend solely on my parents financially...heelllppp!!

Answer 1

I lost my first child at 8 weeks. With my second, I waited to tell everyone til I was past my first trimester. Once I got my ultrasound for my 15 weeks I just handed them to my parents and let them do the math. Once they saw those they had no choice but to be happy. And they are Catholic so they think people should be married to have kids.

Answer 2

I am so glad that you are determined to keep your baby. Remember, you are a mother now too, and your first responsibilty is to your child, not to your parents. Just resolve to protect yourself and your baby no matter what, and everything will work out. You will manage, and your family will deal with it. Just tell them, "Mom and Dad, I'm pregnant, and I'm keeping my baby" and take it from there. Yes, they will be upset at first, but there is no avoiding that. The first few days will be the hardest, and then things will get easier. When you hold your baby in your arms, you will know you did the right thing. You will never regret letting your baby live.

You should know that there is free, confidential help available for you. If you go to a pregnancy care center, they can give you referrals for financial, medical, legal, and housing assistance; free ultrasounds (at many centers); free maternity and baby supplies; pregnancy, parenting, and adoption information; and counseling and emotional support. They will sit down with you, talk to you about all your concerns, and help you make a plan. You can find a center in your area by calling 1-800-395-HELP or visiting:
http://www.optionline.org/advantage.asp (U.S.)
http://www.heartbeatinternational.org/worldwide_directory.asp (international)

Here is some information that will help you stay strong. Some of it may be painful because of your recent abortion; however, it is crucial that you know the truth:

Photos and Video of Abortions, Including 1st Trimester Abortions:
http://www.cbrinfo.org/Resources/pictures.html
http://www.abort73.com/HTML/I-A-4-video.html

Information on All Aspects of Abortion:
http://Abort73.com

Photos and Facts About Prenatal Development:
http://www.justthefacts.org/clar.asp
http://www.abort73.com/HTML/I-A-2-prenatal.html
http://www.studentsforlife.uct.ac.za/foetal%20dev%20photos.html
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/in_pictures/3847319.stm

Abortion Risks:
http://afterabortion.info/complic.html
http://www.abortionfacts.com/reardon/effect_of_abortion.asp
http://www.teenbreaks.com/abortion/complicationsgirls.cfm

Support for Pregnant Teens:
http://standupgirl.com/site/index.php

Support for Pregnant College and Career Women:
http://www.nurturingnetwork.org

Advice on Telling Parents About a Pregnancy:
http://lifehouse.glorifyjesus.com/questions/pregnancy/tellingparents.html

You can do the right thing.

Answer 3

If your parents love you regardless of your cultural or reglious background they will guide you through this time in your life. At 19, being pregnant, and being scared to confront your parents about it, gives me the sense that you are still a child and didn't put enough thought about the causes and effects. The only problem I have with this situation is that you had an abortion and you went back and put yourself in the same situation knowing that theres a good chance, this child will be raised financially by your parents. You are determined to keep your baby and raise that child, but are your parents? and if they aren't, can you blame them?

Best thing to do is get a job, and think about the life you can offer to your child, don't fall victim to what people expect and don't fully depend on your parents, they can only do so much.

Answer 4

I don't know what country you are in, but surely there is a pregnancy advisory clinic where you could have a councelling session with someone totally objective (before telling your parents). Including some contraception advise aswell!
You need to be clear on why you want this baby- my feeling is that it's because you don't want to have another termination...and I don't think this is a good enough reason.
You obviously haven't recovered from the last one, and it can be surprising the emotional effect a termination can have on you even when you didn't want the baby. But remember we are dealing with the hormone system and it takes a while to balance out again.
I think you need some councelling so you can be clear in your own mind to make YOUR decision, as an adult, then follow through, whichever way you choose.
I think it's worse to have a baby (because you don't want a termination) that you will resent in the future and they will pay the price.
There are far too many unfortunate children in ths world whose parents are not emotionally fit or healthy to manage looking after them long term, and these kids are scarred for life.
I know this sounds harsh, but look around you, it takes a very strong and balanced girl of your age to pull this off successfully for the rest of her life.
You have many fertile years ahead of you.

Answer 5

You need to believe that you can handle things without them.
I am sure that there are resources available to you in your area.
Sit down and make 2 plans; one with you doing this on your own (with or without the guy) and one with your parents help.
Then you sit down with your parents and pull out the plan you've come up with if they will help you and show them how you can still pursue your education and make things work.
If they turn you away you already have a plan. Hopefully they will be there for you with the love and support that you need.
If you feel that there is no way of doing this on your own please consider giving the child up for adoption. There are many families suffering over the inability of having their own biological children. Consider all options.
I am sure that you are a strong girl, stronger than you think.
I will be starting the process of adopting soon and didn't think I was strong enough to deal with infertility but I am and you will find the strength you need.

Answer 6

It seems to me that if they are conservative they would also be pro life. This is the "Conservative nature of things." I would question their beliefs about abortion. Chances are if they have the republican view of things they will say "It's murder." If they do that leaves a window of opportunity to question their hypocracy.

Although that is well and good, you made a decision to be grown up enough to sleep with someone. You will have to take this responability on. Hopefully the man that help you in this sorted affair will be there for you & the baby otherwise like the old saying goes "You lie down with dogs you wind up with fleas."

Answer 7

Hey! I'm in the same boat. I'm sorry that a lot of people don't support you, but this can be done, I'm sure of it. I don't rely on my parents for support, but things are very tight financially. Just remember that you need to finish school for the both of you. Some days it's really hard to get out of bed, I know. I'm only 8 weeks along, but it is already difficult to get myself up and going. You can do it! We can do it!

Answer 8

Well you have no choice but to tell them! If you don't they will evnetually find out! You may not like their reaction, so my only advice to you is to get a job to support you and your baby, and continue your education in the process. Move out of your parents home, and live your life. You are old enough to support yourself. I was pregnant at 18, and gave birth at 19, I dropped out of school, and then got pregnant again at 20, but this time I went back to school, along with working 2 jobs, and now I am in college raising 2 beautiful 6 and 5 year old girls!

GOOD LUCK!!!!

Answer 9

You didn't mention the role of the father of this baby. Anyway, a single mother raising an infant and having to work to pay the bills and rent and car payments and clothes and food and a baby-sitters and day-care, etc. . . . on a lousy salary without parental support is LUDICROUS! It was a position I got myself into, well, my marriage didn't work and I ended up raising my dtr alone while I worked. Stuff happened when I couldn't be there to protect her. She remains angry for the times I had to be at work when she needed me. Babys are cute and cuddly but you have them until they are 18+ and they are a MAJOR responsibility. You are responsible for meeting their needs - before your own.
I had my dtr at age 19 and I had no social life until my late 30s.
Re-think this deary. Is this fair to the baby? If you have the need to nurture something, try a puppy.

Answer 10

Your parents will not condemn you from their life for having a child out of wedlock. My family is the same way and I was pregnant - not married - and things with the family turned out fine. You should just explain to them exactly how you feel and that you are going to keep the baby because he/she deserves a chance to live.