Last night I was playing around on my girlfriend/roommate's cell phone trying to find out if one of her friend's number matched up with my latest missed call. After getting bored with that, I went into the inbox on her phone and saw three messages from her ex boyfriend.
She and her ex had met up on the day before valentine's day while I was at work. She had never said anything about it. All I did was say, "I knew I was right about you all along." Then I gave her back her cell phone and left to the apartment.
I don't think they actually did anything sexual or even held hands, but to me, it still seems dishonest for the girl to not inform the guy if she's hanging out with her recent ex boyfriend. What do you thinK?
2007-02-18 07:45:45 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
If this happened to a girl or guy it feels like a stab in the heart. Usually your gut instincts are right. If it wasn't for you to worry about, she would've told you before she met up with him. Well, she didn't get away with you not finding out about it. I think she was dishonest to herself. I would be suspicious and wonder if she will see him again in secret.
What's the circumstances? Are you footing all the expenses in the apartment or is it 50-50?
2007-02-18 08:21:02 · answer #1 · answered by Granny 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, there is something called privacy, seems to me she is the one who should be distrusting you, and you have no right to "play" with another person's cell phone,
If it had been me whose cell phone you "play with" I would be asking you to find another place to live.
In the other hand you have no right to Judge her, maybe she still has feelings for the ex boyfriend and she doesn't know what to do about it, and if is going to take her time, is not of your business.
Maybe she hasn't old you anything about it, because SHE KNOWS SHE CANNOT TRUST YOU.
Maybe she knows you are judge mental.
YOU DID WRONG and YES you are over reacting about her still talking to her ex boyfriend, One of my best friends in the last 10 years of my life is one of my ex boyfriend, and we have never had sex after the beak up ever again, but we are still good friends, I am married now and love my husband very much, and when I email this guy or he comes over for a visit my husband knows there is nothing to be afraid of.
2007-02-18 07:57:00 · answer #2 · answered by esmefort 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a tricky situation. Your girlfriend hasn't cheated on you, and just because she's in a relationship doesn't mean that she automatically has to tell you things. How long have you guys been together? Maybe she didn't think it was very important to tell you.
It also sounds like you didn't give her a chance to explain herself. If you two are having a good relationship then there's every chance that she has a great explaination for not telling you, but by not giving her a chance you risk losing everything. It could be that she wanted to tell you about this meeting anyway but was waiting for the right time. Maybe she's been really busy, or really stressed lately? Whatever the reason is, if you've been in a relationship with her, you owe it to her to give her the chance to explain.
I agree with you that she should have told you about meeting up with him, but you shouldn't lose a relationship over something like this. It may seem like a big deal to you, but it probably doesn't to her, and I'm sure if you told her that you'd rather she tell you about things like this then she would tell you in future.
You said that they probably didn't even hold hands... This is definitely not big enough to lose her over. Give her a chance to explain. And (you're not going to like this) but you should apologise too because, like it or not, you shouldn't have been reading her messages. This will probably open the way for her to apologise and explain.
Good luck!
2007-02-18 07:53:15 · answer #3 · answered by rachel_ludlow 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should quit being an a** and ask her to tell you about it, obviously if she didn't tell you about it it is for a reason. If you trust her maybe she felt it would be better if you didn't get all worked up. There is a such thing as little white lies. In order for a succesful relationship you need to ask her about something not come to conclusions whether right or wrong. Just talk to her. If she has any respect for the relationship she will tell you the truth.
2007-02-18 07:49:12 · answer #4 · answered by Josh S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you owe her the chance to tell you what did happen. You jumped into thinking you already knew that answer. Knowing how you are reacting right now, might be the reason she didn't mention to you that they ran into each other. Might be that you owe her an apology.
2007-02-18 07:52:16 · answer #5 · answered by mimegamy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is kind of suspicious. Okay, you didn't have the right to go through her phone. Ever. But if you found something that makes you uncomfortable, you've got to tell her. Talk to her and let her know that that's not okay behaviour.
2007-02-18 07:48:15 · answer #6 · answered by rkldwg 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're not overreacting at all. I would be upset myself. Time to lay down the law. Tell her the things you're comfortable about and the things that you're not. Good Luck.
2007-02-18 07:52:11 · answer #7 · answered by Smarty Pants™ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it is YOU who behaved badly and that you owe her an apology for snooping on her private mail. You had no right to do that. It would serve you right if she wanted nothing more to do with you. I wouldn't! You're not to be TRUSTED!
2007-02-18 07:53:21 · answer #8 · answered by Moe J 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know for a fact that if YOU did the same to HER, and she found out about it, she would have a heyday and call it cheating, so yeah.
2007-02-18 07:50:26 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is dishonest. Don't trust anyone.
2007-02-18 07:48:55 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋