Im About To Tell My Mother Im Gay, But What About My Boyfriend???

Question

Based off the advice given from a thread I asked earlier Ive decided to come out to my mom and tell her Im gay. The thing that is the question as far as I go, is what I tell her and the details. Not only am I gay, but Im sexually active too. Plus Darren, the boy I bring to the house after school who she probably thinks is a highschool friend is actually my man. I think the latter makes it even harder to come out because she may not ever trust me again. How do I fit Darren into the confession? Should he be present when I tell my mother Im gay or should I be alone? Or should I tell her Im gay but not tell her about Darren being my boyfriend?

Answer 1

never include coming out of the closet with oh btw, here is my bf. the initial assumption is that the other guy has always been gay and turned you gay. I have seen it too many times. come out of the closet and let them know about the bf later.

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Answer 2

I am happy to hear that you are coming out to your Mom. She may be upset at first, but she will eventually be happy that you felt you could come to her. As for Darren, I'm sure it will "click" after you have told your Mom. If not, you don't have to go into details at first, let the knowledge of you being gay have time to settle with your Mom. Let her know, that she can ask you anything she wants to, and that you will be open and honest answering her questions. A lot of parents think or feel that they have done something wrong in raising their child, and that's why they must be gay. Reassure her that she has been a wonderful mom, and that you lover her very much. Assure her that it wasn't anything at all that she did or didn't do that caused you to be gay. Congratulations on being strong and researching your avenues on how to deal with a very delicate situation. Best of wishes....

Answer 3

Hey again;
This is one thing your mother won't want to hear about(ie All the gory details), trust me. As long as your ready, and honest, that should be enough. Also until you and Darren are in a committed relationship, he really doesn't need to there for this. Although You could let her know your with someone you trust, otherwise she may really worry, and if it comes up, then you can let her know about Darren. I hope you and him have also talked about this, and he's alright that you tell your mom that your with him. Check with Darren first though...Take care...Jim

Answer 4

I had the same problem telling my mom I was gay. She is very religious and kept telling me that gay people are sinners and can't get into heaven. She kept telling me I was confused and wasn't really gay and that I just needed to go to church. It was really rocky at first, but I just stood my ground with her, and refused to back down. I know that's easier said than done, but that's what you have to do with people like our mothers. It has been almost 3 years now, and she has never completely accepted my girlfriend, (she still calls her "my friend", lol.) But at least we can have a civil relationship when we are around each other and she still loves me. Don't worry, it just takes time. Remember, happiness is the most important part of life, and you should live yours to the fullest, not wasting your time being unhappy trying to please someone else.

Answer 5

honesty without kindness is not honesty at all... soooo...

this calls for total frank honesty because you darren and mom all DESERVE the truth... and HONEST WORKS MIRACLES. I would tell her alone w/o Darren. Tell her thruth and tell her you love her very much and are afraid of losing her trust and her love. At the right moment tell her about Darren.

simple... it really is. the universe supports you.

Answer 6

dont tell about darren its too much at once.when she is more used to it say you were friends but developed a relationship.stop bringing him around now and give it time

Answer 7

Tough question. It kind of depends on her I guess. It seems to me that you should explain to her that your relationship with D is more than just sex, he is a friend of yours. Once you tell her (if she doesn't already suspect; moms are pretty smart!) it will be the first thing she will ask you anyway, I bet.

Answer 8

Tell her alone, but if she asks about Darren, tell her and then ask him to join you.

Answer 9

You should be alone.. You don't need to tell her about Darren--I'm sure she'll figure that out herself (if she hasn't already).

Answer 10

I would not have him there when you tell her, but you probably should tell her who he is. You may want to stop bringing him home for awhile until it's something she's comfortable with.