after 7 seven years off being together I feel like we have grown apart?What should I do?

Question

Niether one has cheated on each other. We have 2 lovely little girls, don't argue alot, and the love life is great!

But recently he told me that if we keep going like we are that we are going to end up in seperation. He has wanted to spend more time on the video game. Both have been kinda unhappy, after all that happened
he has acted like nothing has happened

Answer 1

its the 7 year itch!!!!! never give up when you have a good relationship. especially a relationship with trust, a good love life and minimal arguments!!!

so, just make extra time to spend with each other and make an effort to tap into each other more. having at least 10 minutes every day devoted to just each other can make a huge difference. a weekly date can do a world of good. you can also have a little get-a-way to re-kindle your spark. they also have workshops you can attend as a couple for those who just need that little bit of help.

love has its ups and downs. my husband and i have been together for 7 & 1/2 years now and there have been many ups and downs. that is life. what matters is that you are solid like you describe.

too many people give up & they are the ones who never succeed at love. when you have a good relationship, the key is to always keep trying. especially when things get a little tough.

Answer 2

Okay, I'm not siding with either one of you but I think that him being a man he is very simple and loves his family deeply. He needs a little relaxation time and he finds that in video gaming. You on the other hand would like his attention and more time with the family. A woman is more complex and doesn't separate the two. I'm sure if you asked him if he love's you he would say yes, both of you need to explore the change in your lives and your feelings. Marriage and life are wonderful things, marriage is hard work and with life everyone changes, this is very healthy because without change there isn't any growth. You both have the blessing of two beautiful and lovely children, talk about your feelings to one another, communication is the basis of a good marriage. It sounds as though you love each other very much but maybe you need a little help? May I suggest going to marriage counseling so that you can separate your problems and get a better understanding of each other? I truly wish you the best of luck and take good care of those lovely children you speak so fondly of. God Bless!

Answer 3

Go to a good book store and pick up one or two books on marriage counselling. That would help. If you dont want to spend I have an inexpensive suggestion. You write down all the acts of your husband which are putting you off and how do you expect him to be to make you happy. Request him to do the same about you. Both of you exchange your notes and start working to improve relations. I am sure it will work as you do not have any serious issues.

Answer 4

I have a few ideas that you can try to add some fun to the relationship. Maybe take a week vacation somewhere sunny and romantic. Leave the kids with the grandparents. Take a dance class together or something. Have romantic sex filled weekends, cook together. The kids sometimes keep couples from doing "couple" things. Keep doing things that will bring you closer together. If that means getting a babysitter more often...then do it!

Answer 5

Marriage is a committment. You don't end it when you recognize that you are growing apart....you use that knowledge to get things back on track!
People DO grow and change over time, and if you feel that growth is going different ways, it is important to talk about it and figure out what each of you can do to improve things.
When you have children, caring for them can seem to occupy every waking moment, but it is important to you AND to the children to make time for your spouse. All relationships need nurturing, so maybe it's just a matter of shifting the focus in yours.

Answer 6

Implement the seventh habit (Resharpening the saw) from Dr. Stephen R. Covey's book : The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People.

Answer 7

Doesn't sound like you have grown apart.
Maybe try spicing things up a little.
I would NOT suggest any "girl" time, unless you stay home and hide in the bathroom.
If you feel that you have grown apart, girl time out with the girls will be a bad thing.
Use your imagination and Spice it up some girlfriend!!
Good Luck.

Answer 8

there is a book out there that talks about giving it your 100% try and get him to read it as well, you can't think about giving anything less to your relationship. maybe set times aside that are strictly for your own time strictly couple time and strictly with the kids time. when you spend time doing the things together you originally liked doing you realize why your with your mate. Good luck and hang in there, all relationships go thru a crusty time.

Answer 9

You guys are running out of things to do and say. Life has just gotten to be a routine. I hope you can do things to rekindle the fire. Sharing an experience together with just you two. Counseling to figure out what's "missing" I can see things getting worse, but I hope it doesn't.

Answer 10

a guys point of view.....................ive been married for 22 years...no children(i cant have any)...it has been me and her all these years...on our first year,we fought so many times,that i felt we wouldnt make it to our first annaversary...but we did...things went pretty good,for awhile...arguements here and there...normal stuff...then we seperated on our third year,for 3 weeks...i called everyday to see if she was ok or needed anything...and i noticed something,we were getting used to being apart...we talked about this...we agreed this is whats happening,and we decieded that we were worth the chance to fix the problem...we did...on our 7th year we seem to find more and more faults with eachother...nit-picking so to speak...but we worhed thru it...now 22 years later. i look back and ask this question"was it worth it"...yes...marriages are hard work...i know you have heard this before...and now your going to see how hard it really is...just because your going up hill now ,is no reason for you to turn around and quit...i seen a sign once that said,"if your going thru rough times,dont stop"...if you stop you will stay there...keep going...talk to hubby,if you want to work this out then give it all you got...and dont look at the hard times...they will only give you doubt...have faith in your hubby,and ask him to have faith in you...then work on this marriage as hard as you can...and remember dont ever give up...he and them children are your life...just as you and they are his...go to him right now and ask him to stand up if hes sitting...when he does give him a hug and a kiss...and say these three words to him..."I LOVE YOU"...if he asks where that came from,tell him your heart...be safe...be kind...and i wish you love...