Social Anxiety. How do I overcome this problem?

Question

I'm a senior at college, and it seems as if the problem has continued to get worse in my recent years... I now dread a simple social situation at the store... I have many friends, yet sometimes I even dread talking to them... I haven't really told anyone, but I think its starting to get a little more serious now... especially if I'm going to be looking for a job soon, where I'll always have to deal with people... is there a way I could overcome this maybe without any medical help?

Answer 1

Below people will give you anecdotes, tools, and conventions you can use to become more social.

Depending on the route of your social anxiety, these anecdotes either will or won't work.

My un-expert opinion is that many people who suffer from social anxiety do so because of issues they faced in their childhood. Not neccesarily events... such as being abused, but simply HOW you were raised by your parents, how you interacted with brothers/sisters, how you interacted with your peers, etc.

If your social anxiety runs deep consider seeing a therapist. There is nothing WRONG with you if this is the case... you have simply identified something about yourself that you want to change.

In general, feel proud of yourself for taking this small effort at learning more about yourself. Almost everyone alive has "issues," but those willing to confront their issues deserve respect in my book.

Answer 2

As a non-professional (not trained in psychology, etc.) I can only tell you this: I've struggled with the same issue my whole life.

I've learned to manage it using several "tricks". For example, I used to dread going to parties, because the number of people there seemed overwhelming. So, I made a pact with myself that I would go to the party and strike up 6 conversations -- real conversations. After I did that, I gave myself permission to leave the party, unless I was enjoying myself. I found that after a while, I started enjoying myself more and feeling less intimidated.

I would also suggest getting involved in activities that you really enjoy. It gives you a chance to "socialize" but still have the activity in common with other people.

Another "trick" that I still use is to invite a small number of people over to MY place rather than go to a party. The benefits are that you know everyone already, and you get to focus some of your anxiety on being the host or hostess rather than trying to mingle.

Good luck!

Answer 3

everyone has a little anxiety here and there but i can feel you on this problem because i go through the same thing sometimes. counseling probably isnt really going to help much, benzopedamines might but you should really think about WHY you are getting anxiety. maybe you are deeply afraid of something, such as being judged or being vulnerable-and it manifests into anxiety. my story is i felt just like you for a very long time and i realized that i was worried about other people making judgements against me-and i learned to know myself and if other people want to make judgements-that is THIER immaturity-and thier personal stupidity.

Answer 4

I have the same problem. Mine has been getting better recently, because I've begun to make more of an effort to put myself in uncomfortable situations (public speaking, talking to people I don't know, etc.). Its the exact opposite of what I want to do, which is RUN. It is absolutely amazing, though, because the more you do it, the more comfortable you are with it. Just psych yourself up for it before you do it. If you have an active imagination, imagine you're going to battle or something. I hope this helps, but if it doesn't, I would suggest seeing a psychologist. They can give you the tools tko survive in basic social situations.

Answer 5

I had (have) the same problem. It never really goes away. I tried meds, but really believe that you have to condition yourself to deal with your weaknesses rather than mask them with a pill. Even if a pill helps for a while, it will inevitably surface later, worse than it was to begin with. I had to force myself into social situations. Take a speach class over and over again. Ask large scale employers (like HP, etc, whatever is in your area, someone who performs mass interviews on a regular basis), if you can come in and dry run interviews with them. Most would be happy to tell you what you are doing wrong, what they are watching for, etc. Volunteer yourself. I volunteered with the Head Start program in my area. Its all regular people just like you, nobody is judging. Then I raised my hand when they asked for a volunteer for chairperson. I ran the meetings, sometimes not as well as I would have liked to, but humor will alleviate that. Most importantly, get on it now. Make yourself do it, and you will find there really is nothing to be afraid of, its just a false instinct being tripped in your brain. Acknowledge it as just that and move forward.

Answer 6

Hi there, I just laugh about my past 3 years of panic now. I was not able to go anywhere without carrying xanax. Fear of having another attack was the most important subject of my days.When i first found joe barry's web site i started to cry because of my happiness.

Free audio to end anxiety and panic attacks fast?

Answer 7

go to the college counseling center... it's usually free. Or, rehearse anxiety-producing situations in your head, but picture yourself doing well. Think about what negative things you may be telling yourself in your head that contribute to your anxiety (like... I'm no good, or I'll look stupid). Then think of more reasonable things to counter them, like 'even if I mess up, it doesn't mean i'm stupid, everyone makes a mistake now and then.'

Answer 8

One approach that has helped a lot of people is joining a local Toastmasters group.

It is also an excellent way to prepare for job interviews.

Answer 9

I think that if you could and go and talk to a counsler this would really help you.

Answer 10

Xanix, I have the same thing and these help.