I saw a weathered and hungry looking man sitting on the side of the road on my way home the other day. He wasnt asking for anything, holding a sign, looking at people as they went by, etc. Something told me to stop and give him money, but I didnt. On this particular day I had about 50 bucks to my name, but still felt an urge to give him some of it, which I didnt. I think there is a fear in me to approach strangers. Am I selfish for not stopping and offering help, or wise to trust my instincts and go about my business? I feel guilty. Maybe like that person needed me and I ignored the powers that be that were telling me to help.
2007-02-18 06:23:54 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Great question!
We must learn to sort our spiritual intuition from our conditioned response.
The only way I know how is 1)to follow it and see where it goes.
2) pray and listen(meditate) and other practices like singing and chanting to keep contact with your higher self, God, buddha nature, etc3) go through your own psychology to improve discernment and remove conditioning.
2007-02-18 06:31:46 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You know what, I cant help, but peform random acts of kindness everyday, everywhere I go. I am a nice person, and it fills me with joy to see others happy, better, and stronger people. A smile at a stranger can go a long way, I'm sure you've heard that before. If you felt you needed to give the man on the street some of your money, there is nothing wrong with that. The question is, would you be giving the man money to make yourself feel better, or to help him out. As well, it seems you were battling with your innerself about what you thought you should do, why dont you go deeper and think about why you hesitated....or maybe even, why you wanted to give the man money. Why do you spose you felt guilty afterwards because you didn't give the man money, do you think it was because you feel you missed an opportunity to make yours and his life better ...or do you feel guilty about something else in your life, and this incident simply brought those guilty feelings to the surface? This is something only you can answer, because only you know why you did this, it just takes time to figure these things out. Have a wonderful day! :)
2007-02-18 07:11:22 · answer #2 · answered by lucy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kindness is something that must be given freely, not out of guilt. Feeling like you owed that person someone would mean that if you had given him something you were not really acting out of kindness at all but a compulsion to pay a debt. If you are going to be charitable, it must be for truly no reason at all to be kind.
To be 'selfish' when you had only $50 to your name is not ignoble. You cannot save the world on your own when you can barely care for yourself. If I were you, I would focus first of bettering yourself with your money. In the long run, once you've become secure and settled and wealthy, then you can turn around and give more than a couple quarters to some unfortunate on the side of the road, you can build a homeless shelter. The fact that you didn't give away your precious money now shows that on some level you understood this.
2007-02-18 06:39:47 · answer #3 · answered by Fenris 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well he was hungry, so don't give him money, give him food! and maybe the adress of a place where he can get some real help, or just a smile! i understand that society teaches us these instincts, but you can find out if you really agree with that. listen to your heart and follow that next time. if it still tells you to stay on the safe side, do just that and don't feel guilty about it!! no use to be somebody you are not, and just because you don't go up to a stranger does not make you a bad person!
2007-02-18 07:14:51 · answer #4 · answered by gabriela 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't feel guilty. I think we have all experienced moments we passed by and wandered if we should have made a different choice. Next time you feel the pull to do a random act of kindness, think about what choice you could do to bring yourself the most joy. Would walking up to this stranger, and giving them your last five dollar bill, and watching the joy on their face as you make their day bring you more joy, or would saving that money for something you need or want bring you the most joy. Making the choice that will ultimately bring you more joy will leave you with the most satisfaction in the end.
2007-02-18 08:24:58 · answer #5 · answered by Lindsey H 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I try to. Whenever I perform a random act of kindness for someone it makes me so happy to know that I have made someone else happy and made a difference in their day/life. It only inspires them to do the same. As a small anecdote, I was on a date with a guy when I noticed a woman wheeling a carriage drop the baby's teddy bear. I excused myself from my date, picked up the teddy bear and caught up with this woman. The woman was so happy! She told me: "I should do things like this more often!" The feeling one has after being kind is indescribable. You can make a difference in someone's life!
2016-05-24 02:52:43 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Never question your instincts. Society has taught us that any money given to homeless people is going to be used for alcohol and drugs and to not give them anything. I tend to go on a person by person basis myself. If the person sets off alarms in me, like in your case, I stay away, but another person two minutes or two days later will not set off that alarm and I help them in any way I can.
2007-02-18 06:36:00 · answer #7 · answered by Lil D 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he wanted money, he'd be doing everything he could....but how would a man like that get a smile or a simple hello from someone...that's what people need--genuine caring....doesn't mean you have to give money...sometimes just giving people a reason to still be happy in this crazy world....don't fret over this guy.....next time you see an old lady carrying groceries down the street, offer her help...or simply holding the door for someone....that will make up for the old guy.....kindness breeds kindness...I know how you're feeling....
2007-02-18 07:37:03 · answer #8 · answered by Virgo 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree with those that have said to trust your insticts. Also, if you'd like to help the homeless, I'm sure it would be just as beneficial, if not MORE beneficial, to make a donation to a local homeless shelter or a program dedicated to helping the homeless than to help just one individual. Even if you give a dollar, it's still a dollar, you know? Not to mention the fact that there is less risk involved...
2007-02-18 06:55:13 · answer #9 · answered by favblue_3000 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been in similar situations before... possibly because i'm ashamed at the way I live my life versus how some people must live theirs.
I won't answer your question directly. Frankly, it is my deeply held opinion that when one person does something nice for another... and then tells someone else of their good deed, they negate the value of the good deed.
We will never know the names of the best people whom have lived on this earth.
2007-02-18 06:40:53 · answer #10 · answered by reasonmrsmith 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋