im 26, my gf's 37. We've been dating for 4 months and i'll be honest, i started dating her on a bet from one of my buddies. She's a bueatufil lady but he bet I would never go out with a lady that much older than me. I did, I won the bet, and I ended up really liking her. I'm not IN LOVE with her tho. None of this would matter except she told me at lunch today that she's pregnant! We began having sex as any couple would, after about a month of dating. I'm freaking out! I had no intention of making this relationship anything long term! I want kids, but not yet! I was actually planning on breaking up with her and I told one of her friends awhile ago that "i'm not sure how much longer this (meaning our relationship) is gonna last" and then a month later she tells me she's pregnant! And to answer the obvious questions: no I never wore a condom because she told me she was on the pill and yes, I know she really is preg because she insisted she prove it and took a preg test in from of me
2007-02-18 05:58:23 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
The first thing you do is take a paternity test to find out if you are, indeed, the father of the child. If it is the case, then be a man and take financial responsibility for the child. Just because a woman is on the Pill does not mean there is a 100% chance of not conceiving. The only way you can be sure of that is to know that your partner is has had her tubes tied or had a hysterectomy or if you have had a vasectomy. Frankly, using a condom, even if the lady assures you she is on the Pill, is a wise decision--not only can you be assured of no kids, you also know you aren't getting any STDs. Having to pay child support for 18 years isn't worth the "lack of pleasure" derived from wearing a condom.
2007-02-18 06:04:30 · answer #1 · answered by KCBA 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's definately not a good situation but, to be honest, you got yourself in this situation so you need to be a man and deal with the consequences of your actions. At this point you need to tell her that you weren't wanting anything long term and didn't think the relationship was really going anywhere. Just so she knows that you aren't going to marry her or anything because of the baby. Otherwise she may get the wrong idea or just assume you are gonna be with her. Just because she is pregnant doesn't mean you two have to get married. I hate it when people do that. It's not good for them or the child. You can have a kid together without marriage. Just talk to her about how you feel about it and what your opinion is. Please don't run. It's not fair to her. Be there for her. She is probably freaked out too. Good luck...
2007-02-18 06:16:37 · answer #2 · answered by K.A. 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have either of you considered not continuing the pregnancy?
Have either of you considered her having the child and putting it up for adoption?
Have either of you considered that maybe the two of you COULD have a future together?
Have either of you talked seriously about what you, as the father, will do to help support this child either financially or emotionally be there or both?
I know she said she was on the pill...yeah, that's a tough one, but sometimes they don't work and sometimes condoms break. The fact is that you're both in a different situation now and the only thing you both can do is be RESPONSIBLE FOR IT. Life doesn't always seem fair, but IT IS WHAT IT IS!!!
Bet that'll be the last time you take your buddy's bet, huh?
2007-02-18 06:10:20 · answer #3 · answered by Moe J 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Chris - before everything take a deep breath and loosen up. this point in time this is not any longer had to get married considering which you predict a infant jointly. additionally, i think of it relatively is impressive that she is in her 40's and pregnant! it incredibly is properly gods artwork there. you're a grown guy, you ought to tell your mothers and fathers which you have been relationship an older woman for fairly a on a similar time as, which you adore her very lots and which you predict a infant jointly. what's the main they might do? supply you a solid conversing to? i'm specific at this age your mothers and fathers could be ecstatic approximately being grandparents. have fun with your G/F's being pregnant and that i repeat there is not any might desire to get married basically considering which you 2 are waiting for a infant. You by no potential understand what months or years down the line ought to deliver. stable good fortune and maximum suitable needs!
2016-10-02 08:32:56 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have mixed feelings about this one. On one hand, "you play you pay". People really need to be more cautious about having pre-marital relations. On the other hand, if she really were on the pill she wouldn't be pregnant, the pill is like 99% reliable. I think it's awful when women try to trap a man by intentionally getting pregnant.
Here's what I think you should do, you should tell her that you will provide for the baby financially but you want to break up. Tell her that you were planning on breaking up before she even mentioned she was pregnant. If she knows now she may have options regarding what to do about the pregnancy.
This situation sucks and I hope this is a wake up call for you and everyone else when it comes to having pre-marital sex.
2007-02-18 06:04:54 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your screwed, get ready to pay child support for the next 18 years.
Infact this could have been an elaborate scam between your friend and her. She wanted to have kids or get married, and set a a thing where your friend would make a bet to date her, and she would say she is on the pill when really she wouldn't be.
2007-02-18 06:01:48 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you like this lady and if you have any feeling for her then you should remain committed to her and settle down. May be she loves you a lot and you might hurt her very badly if you turn away after coming this far....Age doesn't matter, getting along with one another is what matters above all.
Think. Why do you want to leave her now after knowing her so well.
You just need to respect her and value her love for you. And you will get the same in return. :)
2007-02-18 06:09:31 · answer #7 · answered by Stanley 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Off the back, you're dispicable! What kind of man are you that you would bet on someone? How would you feel if the situations were reversed?
My advice to you, is you tell her the truth and make a decision that will benefit the both of you.
The BEST ADVICE -- Pray to God for forgiveness that you were so cruel to another human being! In addition, pray for wisdom and how to make the best of the situation.
2007-02-18 06:05:50 · answer #8 · answered by Faerie Girl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't want kids then I suggest that you be honest with her and tell her that you are not ready to be a father yet.
And then I suggest that you sign your rights away as a parent and let her have soul custody and let her raise the baby all by herself. She'll be just fine, she does not need a man to help her raise a baby. (if you sign away your rights, then you do not have to pay child support)
My mom raised me and my brother all by herself (our dad was a deadbeat). And we turned out alright.
Cheers
2007-02-18 06:03:19 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Woah! Talk to her, be honest and truthful, but be nice about it. Once you've both laid down everything you have to offer try to work together and come up with a plan of what to do next that you can both agree on.
Good Luck.
2007-02-18 06:05:27 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋