My husbabnd and I are not getting along. He has been back from Iraq for over a year now. I want a divorce from him but I feel somewhat guilty that maybe he is having some kind of mental problem from being in Iraq. He does not currently help support his son or me. I feel that this has been going on way too long. (5-6 months) He keeps telling me over and over that he is trying to do better. Well I did something that I had never done to him before. I took money out of his account without him telling me it was ok. I did this out of anger. He showed up and got a room at a hotel.( Truck driver) When I came to pick him up so he could see his son, he said he didn't have any money to pay for the room or to take his kid to the movies like he promised. He wanted me to pay for everything. Then he kept asking me for sex over and over. I had explained to him in a prior conversation that I no intention of having sex with him ever again. I have never cheated on him. I just want to move on.
2007-02-18 05:50:12 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I am at a point in my life where I just want to pay my bills on time, stop having to fix everything he messes up and just stop being hassled by him. Do you think I am crazy to throw away 7 years of marriage over this? I do cared about him but I cannot live the rest of my life like this. My son needs him to be a daddy not a baby. I don't think he will ever be responsible. I just am fed up and tired of waiting for a positive change.
2007-02-18 05:53:45 · update #1
I have only seen my husband 2 times in the past 6 months. He did not even call my son on christmas or send anything for him to have for christmas.
2007-02-18 05:56:40 · update #2
My husband will not go to therapy. He thinks things are great.
FYI ~ I pay the bills and he gets to play around. I take care of everything. Daycare, house, lights, diapers, food etc.
2007-02-18 06:19:36 · update #3
I understand where you're coming from. I'm in a relationship where I have to keep fixing things and dealing with the stress of things that she keeps messing up. It's been years for me putting up with this and, like you, would love a positive change. I understand the vows and everything but wouldn't it just be nice for everything to be running smoothly for a change? I keep going to a job that I hate to make enough money to make ends meet and she keeps blowing it. Not even thinking of the outcome. I can understand you not wanting to live the rest of your life like that. You shouldn't have to. It's easier for me to tell you to go ahead and make the change than it is for me to do it myself...so do it! And good luck!
2007-02-18 06:49:34 · answer #1 · answered by Eric 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your child fell down and broke his arm, you wouldn't just 'leave him'. Because of the circumstances (war etc.,) I would encourage him to get VA counseling, and be there for him until he gets back on his feet. You could do this without being married to him as long as he understands that you love him-will always love a part of him, but just can't live with him or be married to him anymore. BUT...that you WILL support him however you can while he gets treatment, medical and or counseling.
And you are right about withholding the intimacy. If you give in, he will be getting mixed messages and the mess just continues. Officially separate, or divorce sounds like the direction you are heading...just do it in the most compassionate, loving, caring way that you can. Good luck.
2007-02-18 06:07:01 · answer #2 · answered by Nisey 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He just came back from some pretty heavy stuff. He may still be getting all he seen back together. My boyfriend was in desert storm and he still has flashbacks etc. Go to couselling and get some help.they have programs at the VA. Dont do anything hasty. try and get him some help. It will also benefit you and your son.Good luck. I know its gonna be hard on you but worth it in the long run
2007-02-18 06:05:16 · answer #3 · answered by pirategirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What are you waiting for? Him to be good to you again? I don't think its going to happen.
Tell him your relationship has 30 days to clean up. If nothing changes, like therapy or making other changes, it's over, and you're leaving and filing for divorce. Then do it!
Life is too short to make excuses for someone else.
2007-02-18 06:00:53 · answer #4 · answered by nikki newman 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't abandon your husband- you promised "in sickness and in health" and if you say your husband has "some kind of mental problem from being in Iraq" you need to step up to the plate and get him help.
You really need to grow up and be a decent wife. The man is obviously having a crisis.
2007-02-18 05:55:44 · answer #5 · answered by Violet Pearl 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like you should be in jail for stealing from a war veteran. I think you're being a terrible wife and he has no motivation for doing better,
I hope your son does not grow up resenting what you did to daddy. But he might.
2007-02-18 06:07:30 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
i think u & he both need some counselling. please dont take any decision in haste
2007-02-18 05:55:16 · answer #7 · answered by archer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋