When you meet the one, will you know right away ?

Question

I have been with my ex girlfriend for 2 years before it ended.
I recall that at the beginning I wasn't serious about her, but was absorbed with my career ambitions. The major shift only occured only when she began to withdraw towards the end. Now I'm doubting my onw judgement. Is it possible to realize that someone was 'the one' only after they left ? Was my mind clouded ?

Answer 1

No, I do not agree with that. You will not know right away, as you just confirmed it with your story. Most of the time we have premonition of what is right but we still choose not to settle for what lay before us.............this is our mistake; call it destiny.

Answer 2

I knew within days that he was 'the one'. He is now my fiance. It was different with him. My feelings were very intense and I had a strong pulling from deep within my soul towards him. He just seemed so familiar to me like I had known him all my life. I just knew it. I had butterflies in my stomach and all those things that we experienced as young teenagers. I was 43 and never married. I have had many relationships over the years and I never had this feeling with any of them. I never had the feeling after the breakups that maybe he was 'the one'. Actually I had all but given up at my age of ever finding 'the one'....that is when he came into my life.

Answer 3

No. Trust is earned. You wouldn't lend money to somebody with no credit rating, and you shouldn't trust somebody with your heart until they earn it. It's that simple.

What happened to you was this: you started seeing somebody. You stayed with her, so your interest in her and that relationship was somewhere north of 50%. Then she dumped you, and that got your attention because it was going to disrupt everything you had grown used to having in your life, and your interest in her and the relationship went somewhere into the 85-90% range.

That's how this stuff works. It's natural. If your interest had been around 85% and hers was somewhere in the same territory, then you wouldn't be here asking this question.

So now you have learned an important lesson about how it is important to be selective of who you bond with in a romantic relationship: it has to be somebody interested in you (most import--pay attention to that--what does she do? Her words don't mean much--women can be players too), and it has to be somebody you are interested in keeping around. If you are interested in keeping her around, then you need to make sure that the relationship doesn't get too dull, that you aren't disrespectful, that you don't turn into a doormat, and that you act with absolute integrity. Relationships take work, and both of you have to be willing to work on it. Words don't mean much: actions mean everything.

School is out. Did you learn anything?

Answer 4

It happens very often that you realise the importance of the person when he/she is no more with you. May be you felt that your career is more imporatant at that point of time. But now you may have settled down a bit and you want to start a relationship.

This is the right time. Go and talk to her. If she was really committed to you then she might come back to you. Better give it a try before it becomes toooooooo late. All d best.

Answer 5

typical -- when someone is giving us everything, we don't want it, the minute it is taken away from us we want it. honestly, when you meet the RIGHT one, you will know, because you will pretty much make any excuse to be with them -- your career won't matter, in fact, you will manage to figure out how to balance both -- and the key word balance, because that someone will bring exactly that to you. move on and when the right person comes your way, you will know -- it won't take them leaving for you to know, you will KNOW.

Answer 6

There is no "the one"...there are MANY potentially great partners for each of us out there...she may actually have been a good match for you, but chances are if you let her go you had your reasons so don't second guess yourself...you'll meet others who will be equally good or better matches ☺

Answer 7

If you´re a male, you need to control the guidance in the relationship. If she´s not responding to your suggestions,then you need to keep it moving. She won´t be the one !

Answer 8

Sounds like you fell for being with someone rather than being with the right one.

No, you might not know right away, but what you describe doesn't sound like you were falling for her.

Answer 9

yeah but sometimes u just really miss that person you have shared ur life with for so long. Its hard to tell i think only time will show

Answer 10

hmmmm...... after being in many relationships... i don't believe in "the one" you have to make a good decision based on how you like the person, what you have in common etc. but if it took you until AFTER she left...then she probably wasn't the one. it's natural to miss someone you were emotionally/physically attached too....even when they AREN'T the right person for you.