If you are in a permanent coma, should your spouse divorce you and remarry?

Question

This question is even more complicated if you have kids.

Let's assume that you will still provide financial care for your comatose ex-spouse and even visit them periodically.

I would want my wife to divorce and remarry while making sure that I am properly cared for until I die.

Answer 1

I would not want my partner to waste his life if I was in a coma I could not recover from. That would be incredibly selfish...when we love someone, we want them to be happy.

As for me, if my guy was in that position I'd probably move on at some point as well...there's just no valid reason not to.

Answer 2

I believe this is one of these questions you ask your fiance or spouse before it happens. You should also ask your sweetheart how many kids you both want to have and who you want to leave your kids to if you both die. These are a few of the prenuptial and immediately postnatal questions that should be discussed. Religion and child rearing philosophies are a few more.

Otherwise, I think if push comes to shove, it would be better if the somewhat more surviving spouse divorce and remarry.

Rarely do people come out of a long term coma. Doctors can also tell more now due to MRI's.

Answer 3

If you really loved your spouse then why leave them? What if they wake up as sometimes happens.. My husband and I would never divorce each other. We made that promise to stay together forever and there is not another man out there that would make me feel the way that he does, so if he is in a coma he is still that man, and I would never leave his side. Especially if there are kids, they need to know what true love is all about and how you don't leave someone when it gets hard. Yes it might get lonely but I would never cheat.

Answer 4

In some circles and societies she is already dead. If the mind is no longer active then the body is just an empty vessel. It's hospitals and care centres that benefit on keeping the comatose persons body alive. There should be a law to allow X amount of time then pull the plug or give the big sniff.

I know this isn't a kind and giving answer but if I were in a coma... Pull the plug after 90 days. Anything longer is beyond financial responsibility.

Answer 5

The dead know not anything! Then again the new spouse knows what they are going to get if they get in a coma. Personally, I would not want to be sustained in a permanent coma-that is not living to me.
Some loveless marriages are like permanent comas-and what do people do then-cheat?
It is not a complicated question if you define your idea of marriage and stick to the rules that are within the guidelines and without the deal breaker clauses-ie fornication, adultery etc.
Take care.

Answer 6

Only if you don't value and never seriously meant the vows you originally took with them..."in sickness and in health." This was a commitment we make to our spouses when we marry them....

A promise is a promise, and any spouse can take the cowards way out (and be a shining example to their children of how commitment, promises, vows and covenant are only important so long as they don't impose on your comfort level or chosen lifestyle), or we can stick by our vows through the good and bad times and show our children the meaning of keeping our word.

BTW, if you think that I am one of those people who are all talk, but no action, I am still married to my husband even though he has been diagnosed with a dibilitating illness...it has not been easy and he is hardly the same man that I married, but I meant what I said when I spoke my vows when I married him and I will not throw him away because he is now damaged.

Answer 7

It depends which country you're from. The law in Canada/U.S. is that you can divorce them if the coma is 100% permanent. But in the case of vegetation, the spouse will just pull the chord and get the life insurance, not keep paying to keep you breathing. Even if the coma is temporary, if it lasts for more than 3-7 years you can get a divorce, but they would still have to take care of you financially for the rest of your life. If they are unable to then insurance will.

Answer 8

If I was in a coma and not expected to come out of it forever, then yes, my spouse deserves to be happy. But I just think what if I did come out of it and find myself divorced, how would I feel then.

Answer 9

I think you mean "permanent vegetative state" as comas are never categorized as permanent. Coma victims can awaken at any time. I don't think anyone would blame another for divorcing such an individual and remarrying.

Answer 10

i think not because when you marry someone it is for better or worse and if you are in a coma, that is worse,so i think if she or he really loves you then they should do every thing they can to make sure that you get through it even if it is reading to you or excrising your muscles or make sure that the doctors are doing what they are suppose to now if there is no hope i would say as hard as it would be that he or she needed to let that person go but only god knows the answer to that .