What causes someone to put another down or to put down something they know is good?

Question

For instance- trying to make the person or object look bad when its good. whats the point in that? Also saying negative things behind the persons back to make them look bad or devoting their time to ruining the persons reputation? Even if this person accomplishes something good they'll try to demean it and make it somehow look 'bad' in front of others.

Answer 1

It's all about personal insecurity and weakness. If a person has low self-esteem, he or she will purposely put someone down to make them look worse than them. I know a guy who does this all the time. He will purposely tell a really embarrassing story about one of his best friends in front of a bunch of strangers at a party so he can get a laugh at his friend's expense and feel like he is well-liked by the strangers. I know another girl who used to do this to me all the time. I'd call her up with some fabulous news, like, "Hey! My boyfriend just proposed to me!!!" and she'd just be like, "Yeah, well I'm going back to graduate school." Like she hadn't even heard me say my good news. Or she'd say something like, "Well, the only reason I don't have a boyfriend is because I'm pickier than you are," implying that my boyfriend wasn't the type of guy she would even consider or something. Anyway, my point is, sadly a lot of people have such a poor self-concept that the only way to make themselves feel better about their sad little lives is to put down their friends who are more successful, or just plain happier.

The other thing you're talking about is self-deprecation. Like if a friend of yours gets a promotion at work, and your friends are all like, "Congratulations!" and he goes, "Well, I'm not getting a raise to go along with it, so it's not THAT great..." Right? That's a low self-esteem thing too. You'd be surprised how many people have demons.

Answer 2

because said person is jealous and wants all the attention paid to said person to be on them