He's borrowed money from her, paid some back. She's used her own money to purchased stuff for his boat. He lives part of the time at her house, but doesn't have clothes there, doesn't provide financial assistance to her for her home. She does nothing but complain about his habits to me, like his smoking and getting drunk after work, his poor money management. Now they're engaged? And he didn't even buy her the ring, she donated a stone she had from a previous relationship. Am I missing something here? Should I be happy for her?
2007-02-18 04:41:23 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Well its her mistake to make....if she complains and still is in the relationship she is contented at some point or the other with his behavior. You cant tell a dog not to bark unless they stop doing it themselves. And she apparently would not leave this guy so your comments about him seems to me futile. No there is no rule stating you must be happy for her cause why be happy for her if she is clearly not!!!! But what you can do is provide a shoulder for her when she needs it, support when its needed. You may feel you are obligated to feel happy because you care for her and she is engaged, and to not be happy for her would seem to make you out to be selfish or mean or not a friend....Being a friend doesnt necessarily mean that you have to experince the same feelings as your own close friends in this case the sense of happiness. I think the proper term would be to accept her choice rather than be happy for her. "GIVE ME THE COURAGE THE CHANGE THE THINGS I CAN, THE STRENGTH TO ACCEPT THE THINGS I CANT CHANGE AND THE WISDOM TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE" think about it hope ive helped!!!!
2007-02-18 04:56:02 · answer #1 · answered by hershey's kisses 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just reading all the areas re guarding the singles & friends to-day but I got to run soon over a few blocks.
No cars or bus to-day but finally I am out of the seasonal affect diecese!
2007-02-18 12:50:47 · answer #2 · answered by David H 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was going to say this guys a jerk, but if it was the other way around and the guy was the one doing the buying Id be happy for my friend...She needs to stop using you to complain to, so that she gets it out of her system enough to go back and deal with him. Tell her you dont want to hear anything about their problems....tell her if she doesnt have something nice to say...you dont want to hear it. Tell her it hurts you to know your friends being treated that way and you cant stand to hear it. Say it, and mean it.
2007-02-18 12:49:23 · answer #3 · answered by marie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she is happy, you should be happy for her. The quality of someone else's relationship is only your business when they ask your opinion. Be happy because she is happy. Let her know that if she ever needs you, you'll be there for her.
2007-02-18 13:01:44 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
seriously u have to be sorryyy 4 her not happyyy
don't mind but if she's havin problem wid that gu y on earth did she got engaged wid him??????
2007-02-18 12:46:36 · answer #5 · answered by sophie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she's happy, wellllllllll...... think the best you can do is be there
for a shoulder.
2007-02-18 12:52:23 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think that's some screwed up stuff, but you have to look at the dudes past, maybe he was abused or retarded.
2007-02-18 12:47:21 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋