what can you do if you feel controlled in life?

Question

like with my parents. my mum and dad, they show affection and ring me i ring my mum and dad. but im 29 and are battling with an undiagnosed mental health condition. ive recentley been in a crisis point with it all. and had the mental health crisis team out to see me. ive been isolating myself in my small flat. really in a rut with racing thoughts, low moods where i cant get dressed, brush my teeth. not able to go out because i have distressing symptoms..feelings of detachment, that im going to lose control of my anger, incredable anxiety. feeling numb. feeling paranoid. feelings of unreality. then i used to have outbursts. stare like im in a trance, get into confrontations, lose control, full of rage, act out, impulsive banging into people..so for these reasons ive stopped going out, because im scared to lose control. i want a life, my own home, a good job, a nice girl, i have these dreams i want, ive never had any of these. however my dad rang me before asking hows it going.

hows it going, i told him ive been having a bad time of it all recentley and the crisis team calling to see me, and he said,' well ok, and ill ring you next week,' and he said' youll have to let me know what they say'...and i aggreed to let him no. but im frustrated because i always act like a kid with him, like he controls me. for example, i dont have to let him know anything about my life, but feel obligated to do so...can anyone offer a way to handle this?

Answer 1

Same here. My family and my mother treat me like I am a fragile 10 year-old boy or something. Rebellion is one of the best ways for you to show that you really cannot stay under your parent's armpit anymore as a 29 yo guy.

Answer 2

Moving away isn't the answer--but if you don't want to do the following, moving away AND getting treatment there, will be the next best thing! Your reactions are so extreme, they must inhibit your living a fulfilling life!! Even if you move away for what sounds like a very controlling father-mother, you'll uncons'ly transfer those very same feelings onto your boss (esp if it's a males)! in your work/to your own wife, friends, classmates and professors, if you're in school! Even if it costs a lot, the rest of your life will be MUCH better--happier, more successful work and relationships. I would suggest that if possible, you could find a good in-patient treatment facility, to help protect you and others from that rage while you are working it out! It sounds as if you may have had a history of child-abuse as a young child....If not, it may be a mental illness that needs medication AND work on underSTANDING the illness, yourself in therapy as WELL! Don't just resort to trying to controll it by yourself! Good Luck!


Good Luck!

Answer 3

Your question was poetic. Have you tried reading/writing dark poetry? It has served as an outlet for many troubled folk.

I've felt controlled by my father too (dads have a way with that; its not necessarily their fault either). We haven't talked for a long time.

Move away! Far away! You have to trust your abilities to control your Self and stand well on your feet. When you're out interacting with other people you must pay very close attention to your stream of thought to prevent "outbursts" which you know in your heart are counterproductive. The job, the home, the girl... aren't going to all come into your life at once! This takes time, and don't you dare feel bad about yourself if it doesn't happen soon!

Answer 4

It doesn't matter weather your going through some thing such as you are or not (Please read keep reading) any one who has a parent feels the same way. All you need to remember is that your parents truly love/care about you, they are the only ones in your life who will always be there for you. Don't be so hard on your self or your parents.

Your parents really don't want you to feel like they are trying to control you. It's hard to be a parent and not want to offer advice or just let your children know that your there for them. It doesn't matter how old you are they will always want to be of a help to you.

When you've been a parent raising a child/children for 18 years, there isn't a button that you can suddenly hit to turn off the parent mode when your child turns 18. Your parents will always care about you and what is going on in your life.

So the best advice I can offer is that you just except that they love you and that you should be thankful that you still have your parents in your life. Maybe if some things really bother you when they ask about it you just need to tell them I'm not ready to talk about that now. And that you know that they mean well but if you feel like talking about it later with them that you will. Tell then that you mean no disrespect to them, as you do love them.

I will keep you in my prayers, that you will get the help that you need to see you through all that is going on in your life. Keep the faith, things will get better. God Bless you!

Answer 5

Just be nice to your parents. In India, we live for them! I am sure they are happy they have you and are lucky to be with you.

I studied my Psychology in college. You know, you just need to be happy for a while. Move someplace, smile alot, read some books, try and find a job though everything is hard, just be happy you are alive in this world. Try going to church and reading the bible. Everything starts from scratch. All you need is dedication, motivation, hard work and a rock solid decision to stick to your goals. One more hint; In India, we start small and grow big. The economy is now booming, why? Coz we started with nothing and now we have the bucks to beat the European countries. But we dont have half of what the countries there have! Just wake up and smell the fresh coffee... its not bad... when you have sweet parents then what is the big deal of finding the right person... just love yourself and others will start loving you ; NO MATTER WHAT.

Answer 6

its ok tolean on your parents thats what they are there for you need support-your dad has no control over your life-he just wants you to be well-he loves you and always has and its probobly true that they too are feeling helpless-they dont know how to help-besides ringingyou and offering the best advice they cangive.....i totally feel your pain-i have struggled with anxiety for years-extreme paranoia and panic-when i had my attacks i would throw up and nearly passout-seriously i know how mental illness feels..lonely scary sickening....you need a psychiatrst-remember psycologist and psychiatrists are both effective for these things but more than likely you will need a team of therapist one to prescribe medication that will actually help and one to help you sort it all out in your head just by talking and discussing everything...i hope this helps goodluck-you willbe ok-just remember

Answer 7

Yeah i will relate, it relatively is how i've got been feeling at present...i'm attempting to take administration besides the undeniable fact that it relatively is perplexing. i think of at cases like this you form of might desire to detect issues which you do have administration over and use that as a place to start :)