suppose it's probably none of my business, but (1) why do many gay people feel the need to tell everybody that they are gay? (2) why do many gay men talk with the lisp?...they didn't as children...is it a way of telling people they are gay? (3)why do many gay couples take the role of man and wife?..like one of the gay men in a couple acting more effeminate than the other..and with many lesbians, why does one act manly?..confuses me that if they are into same sex, why the roles??
sincerely hope not to offend anybody...
2007-02-18 04:38:08 · 12 answers · asked by jstrmbill 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
I'm not offended, but I am astonished that you have bought into more stereotypes than anyone I've ever encountered.
Addendum:
Oh and yes, I AM gay. But, I do not fall into the descriptions you've listed. I don't hide who I am, and I do tell people I am gay when it is relevant. ie A friend or relative trying to fix me up with some "nice girl", or some idiot begins trashing homosexuals and it's necessary to put him/her in their place.
2007-02-18 04:41:52 · answer #1 · answered by castle h 6 · 6⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you sound homophobic, I'm a lesbian and I'm not offended. Here are the answers to your questions:
1. Being gay in this day and age is such a controversial issue, and because there are so many straight people with opposing opinions, it's much easier to be honest up front and lose an acquaintance than NOT say anything and lose a good friend b/c they are not comfortable with "it" later down the line.
2 Gay men's lisp is very much like a show and tell for their sexuality. I haven't noticed a majority of lisps, but when I do, it's usually an "image" their upholding. It's the same thing for lesbians and short hair! ;)
3. I think this question is completey bias. Many couples (myself included) do not take on masculine/effiminate roles. Many people are just being themselves, and the consequences are how they are perceived by the outside world as attempting to resemble a heterosexual couple. I say get to know someone before making assumptions or categorizing them.
2007-02-18 04:47:05 · answer #2 · answered by greenbuddha03 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
A sincere question deserves a sincere answer, so here goes: 1) we tell others we're gay because the more we talk about it, the more we (and society) accepts our presence and that we're not "choosing" to be gay/bi or necessarily "filthy." 2) Actually, not that many gay men talk with the lisp, though the ones that do (like me, even though I'm bi lol) don't even notice their voice change. I went through a period of 6 months where my voice kept going higher/more lispy and I didn't notice it until one of my gal friends pointed it out. And 3) this isn't always true, though honestly I can't tell you how often it is. While there almost always will be a "top" and "bottom" in gay men relationships, that does not necessarily translate into a "butch" and "femme" relationship, and for lesbians, this is even less common. I have a gay gal friend who is butch and thinks butch girls are hot, so it's not always true. And when it is true isn't becasue of the roles (though they come in any relationship, notice how many wives are dominant over their husbands lol? You could say the wife is playing the "man" and the husband playing the "wife" in that case.) When it is true, it happens just because the two people are sufficiently butch and fem, respectively, to make the roles come naturally. They aren't trying to act like man and wife though.
2007-02-18 05:28:43 · answer #3 · answered by guitarherofairy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sorry, but everything you've just posted is considered to be lies, assumptions and/or generalizing stereotypes. do you know many/any gays or lesbians? I'm not necessarity offended, I just still find it surprising that so many people believe stereotypes are reality.
1. i don't "need" to tell everyone I'm gay. if it comes up, I don't deny it. but I have nothing to hide. I'm out to my family, friends and coworkers, and they all accept me for who I am.
2. very few gay men talk with lisps...that's a stereotype. I've known straight men who do!
3. I don't know any gay/lesbian couples who role play man/wife roles. yet another stereotype. why do so many straight people believe that someone has to be the "man" and someone has to be the "woman"? my partner and I are both females...neither of us assumes a male role.
I think you really need to talk to/meet some more of us, and do a little more research before you post such a question again.
2007-02-18 06:15:43 · answer #4 · answered by redcatt63 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
1) I have no idea why gays, who have just come out of the closet, want to sing it from the house tops...perhaps having lived so long with oppression??? Give them time, this tendency fades and soon enough, gays are content with their own business. But you would have to be pretty obtuse if you did not understand this. Try living your life as someone you are not...you might want to scream at the world...THIS IS ME!
2) Most gay men do NOT talk with a lisp. This is one of the silliest stereotypes in the business. Most gay men appear like any other man...and often, people are floored when they find out the guy is gay.
3) Most Gay couples do not take on a traditional life style of man and wife...leave that one to the straights. In any relationship, there is going to be a more dominant and less dominant partner....if you want to equate that to man and wife, I suspect your wife might wop you up against the side of the head with a rolling pin...watch out, here it comes.
4) You have not offended me in the least. You asked, I answered. good luck
2007-02-18 05:17:46 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
1. Many people allow their orientation to be known simply because of the same reasons many heterosexuals allow their attractions to be known. It's no different.
2. That is nothing more than a stereotype, very few homosexuals actually lisp and very few people that do lisp are actually homosexual.
3. Few, if any same-sex couples actually conform to stereotypical gender roles within their relationships, the majority of what you think you observe is nothing more than judgmentalism toward their personal demeanor and not representative of the "roles" they actually fulfill within their relationship. From my experience, household chores are divided up by either who enjoys fulfilling the need the most(or who hates doing it the least). Sexually speaking, the roles within the bedroom are rarely what people on the outside of the relationship think they are.
2007-02-18 04:50:43 · answer #6 · answered by IndyT- For Da Ben Dan 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Actually, I think this is more of a cultural thing - I live in Pakistan and there are a lot of gay people here as well, but you will not notice any lisp nor do people adopt a particular "gay" lifestyle as such - I think it is a lot more accepted here than in the west so I am guessing that people dont really feel as if it is really being anything out of the ordinary - on a sidenote - transvestites here do live by a different lifestyle - but not all gay people are transvestites....
Good question though...
2007-02-18 04:45:15 · answer #7 · answered by tungi 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
1. I agree with this question because no offense to those who are gay/lesbian it gets annoying after a while hearing who's gay and who isn't. I don't go around shouting that I'm straight....
2. Eh maybe it's a cultural thing? I honestly don't know lol
3. It's all about dominance I believe.
2007-02-18 04:42:27 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
I bet all I have, that you feel the need to tell everybody that you are straight, more than I feel the need to tell that I am gay.
2007-02-18 06:07:01 · answer #9 · answered by Kedar 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
gays feel the need to tell because they want to be accepted without hiding their real self
some gays fake a lisp
some gays are dainty and submissive by nature,occurs in strait relationships as well,just as some gays are naturally dominant.
2007-02-18 04:42:22 · answer #10 · answered by jen 5 · 0⤊ 3⤋