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This guy was my fiancee, we broke up (for a month) and got back together..... Now we're just dating. During that month my birth control expired, no big deal, wasn't sleeping with anyone- and when we got back together I went to my doc for more bc. I took a pregnancy test last night because my period was late, and told him the results this morning after I used the second test with morning urine to confirm the positive result. He did not react at all to the news.
We have been back together less than a month, and I've had an abortion before (his) and have no intention of doing that ever again. I know his family is going to think I'm trying to trap him and I have no clue how to deal with that. I'm also in college (but will finish in December), and am 25- so I don't feel it's unreasonable to have a baby at this point. Any ideas about family dynamics, insurance (do you have to upgrade to maternity coverage?), or any helpful anythings?

2007-02-18 04:35:27 · 6 answers · asked by Amanda R 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting Pregnancy

6 answers

Wow! This is a hard one. First of all, you gotta be strong and hang in there. They might be hurtful towards you and blame you at first, but hopefully they can be adults and accept what is going on here. Second, you gotta sit down with him and talk about what's going on between you two. Will you stay together? Does he want this baby? If you did stay together and have the baby, how do both of you feel you should be raising it? Everything needs to be talked about. This is a very big thing and it takes a lot of responsibility from two mature adults. Let the family think what they want. You and him both know the truth of the situation and that's all that matters.

Check with an OB/GYN dr to see if they accept your insurance. The sooner you start prenatal check-ups, the better. Hope all goes well between you 2 and take care of yourself. Good luck.

2007-02-18 04:47:32 · answer #1 · answered by impossiblemama 4 · 1 0

Be prepared for every possibilty. This guy could step up and be happy about the baby, or he could want nothing to do with you. You seem to have your head on straight and your life together, i was a single mom ( divorced, seperation at 5 months preg ), and i was only 20, but i still did alright for me and my daughter. I was scared and didnt think i would ever be happy, but im now remarried and expecting again in oct! I think your insurance covers maternal leave but make sure before you rely on that pay while your out! If the father wants to be in the childs life but decides to leave you alone then talk about who will have the baby when and make sure he undersands that your are NEVER to be bad mouthed infront of the child by his family or him. I hope that you two stay together if he makes you happy, but dont let him stress you, especially right now. If he wants to be a jerk then let him know that you dont need this right now and that when hes ready to be an adult about this then to holla at cha!! Congrats, and good luck!

2007-02-18 20:40:01 · answer #2 · answered by marinewife 3 · 0 0

Hi Sunshine,

There is no way you are going to know what to expect at this very moment from your boyfriend. But that is not a reason for you to give up something that you want. Please, do not have another abortion because there is a chance that you could mess up the inside of your body and never be able to have a baby again. There is no guarantee that you and this man will be together for ever anyway. So go to your family talk to them, explain to them what happen and ask for help. Who knows what the future holds this could be your last chance to have a beautiful, strong and healthy baby boy or girl.

Smiles in delight

2007-02-18 13:00:05 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

men need some time to grasp the fact they are going to be fathers. like sometimes they need mos. some dont even get it until u deliver. and some never get it. if he is a good guy, you just gotta give him time. as far as his family goes, please dont stress about what they do. Their son is an ADULT and made the choice to have unprotected sex, birth ctrl or not, he knew u could get pregnant. THEY really dont have any input in this. you have ur own family to worry about now, dont concern urself with his.

your insurance should already have maternity included in it, there should be no need to add anything just call the main coverage line and find out how much or if u have a co-pay, and find an ob-gyn under ur provider. if u do have a co-pay, u will need to ask the ob of your choice if u have to pay per visit or one large maternity fee (mine is $200 and its not due til my 7th month. and then its $250 per overnight stay for delivery)

keep your head up girl its not as hard as it seems now....and give the boy some time to adjust.

2007-02-18 16:55:26 · answer #4 · answered by jean grey 6 · 0 0

It sounds like to me you are already doing a good job of thinking things through. You do need to make sure your insurance has maternity coverage. You will need the assistance. However, many hospitals have payment plans too, so don't worry. Getting your degree is the best thing that you can do for this baby. It is your ticket for a better life with or without your boyfriend. How his family reacts is up to them, but if they are good people they will open their arms to you. Even if everyone is skeptical at first, a baby can bring so much joy to a family. It is hard work, but so rewarding. Good luck to you and make sure to see a doctor and take care of yourself for this little one!

2007-02-18 12:55:20 · answer #5 · answered by e27 1 · 0 0

Hooboy. My idea about family dynamics is too late...you already boinked unprotected and got caught.

You can't control what they think. All you can do is say "this is what happened, deal with it."

2007-02-18 12:41:20 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2 1

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