Every time some poor bleeding heart has a problem my wife volunteers me to help them move, fix there car, or other task. , m not lazy but if these people need my help why can,t they just ask me?
2007-02-18 04:29:16 · 9 answers · asked by BOBBY B 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
That's pretty thoughtless of your wife to do. Maybe she thinks you dont mind though. Do you always say yes (or usually)? Have you told your wife this bothers you? Be assertive, not aggressive. For some reason a lot of people have trouble saying no, or they have trouble saying no the right way. You shouldnt feel guilty telling someone no. We dont always have to please others and in turn make ourselves feel like crap. Why should we put other peoples needs ahead of our own? If I was you I would nicely say no, and when they keep bugging you just keep repeating no, nicely. Dont explain yourself either, cause people will always have an argument for why your wrong and if youre not strong will usually end up making you see things their way, and then youll give in. So, just tell your wife to please stop volunteering you, if she doesnt listen then call these people up and say hi Im not able to help you but Ill send my wife right over. Never tell them youre sorry either, itll just make you feel sorry. Good Luck.
2007-02-18 04:43:12 · answer #1 · answered by marie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is always help out there, if you know where to look. Does your local hospital have a charity program? Most of them do. but they just don't spread it around. I would ask them to see. If they don't, then ask them if they know anyone that might be able to help you. I think you said your yearly income was around $10,000? If that is so, then that is below the poverty level in most states. There should be no reason why your wife should not be able to get assistance from someone. Many times in this area of the country when a person has a problem like yours, we write our Senators and Congressmen. If I were you I would tell them your wifes problem and that she is not able to work, but keeps getting turned down on Medicaid. Where we can't get things done, all they have to do is make a phone call or write a letter and it all of a sudden gets done. They are there to serve the people when an injustice has been done. I would certainly try that with the Medicaid deal. I would not stop till I got the help your wife deserves and needs. If you get a goverment offical to help you, they can make medicaid go back and pick up some or maybe all of her back medical bills. Try this! In most areas there are low income clinics that are there for people who have limited income. Sometimes their services are free, or very low cost. Some in our area are staffed with doctors and nurses who give their time to help those in need. They also give free medication, if you qualify. Your local hospital or the phone book should tell of these free clinics, or The Chamber of Commerce. One person mentioned praying over suicide. I would like to say I agree. Suicide will not solve your wife's problem. It would make it ten times worse on her. She needs you to be strong for her! As a Christian, I can tell you that there is a Loving God who cares about what you and your wife are going through. He invites you to come for salvation, which he gives freely to those that will ask, then he said come unto me and I will give you rest. If you are not saved, simply pray asking God to forgive you of your sins, then share with him your burdens about your wife and finances. He is there to hear and bring peace when it seems the whole world has gone crazy. I am bowing my head right now and I am praying for you my friend. We on Yahoo Answers cares about you! I will pray that God will guide you and help you find peace and the answers you need. Heres praying that you will have a blessed day!
2016-03-29 01:22:09 · answer #2 · answered by Amber 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's quite simple really. Have you tried telling your wife that you don't want to do this? Tell her clearly. And tell her that the next time she offers your services without your permission, you will refuse and tell the person that she offered your help to that she did so without speaking to you first. Your wife will feel the brunt of what she did and she'll soon stop. You could also tell her to ask the person who needs help to call you, that perhaps you can help them but they'll need to speak with you first.
The one thing you need to do is be constant... Don't give in to the demands, stand tall and carry a big NO!
2007-02-18 04:35:54 · answer #3 · answered by The ReDesign Diva 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk your poliety. Then tell her ask u before shes drafts u to do a honey do list clear it with u first. Also the other people may feel not confortable speaking with u. Also u need to learn to say no ur not a door mat
2007-02-18 04:39:42 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to her about this or start saying "no" if she's volunteering to help people when in fact it is you who will have to do the work.
Ask her in the future when someone asks for her help, but you would be the person to be helping, to direct the person to you. I doubt she'd appreciate you promising her help to others without her consent.
Communication is the key...
2007-02-18 04:33:53 · answer #5 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Talk to her and tell her how you feel. Tell her that if someone neds help, you would like for her to talk it over with you first before she volunteers your services.
2007-02-18 04:34:21 · answer #6 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
sounds like to me your wife wears the pants in your family! get a Backbone confront them let them know your trying to be a real man
2007-02-18 04:33:39 · answer #7 · answered by rpoker 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
communication is huge in a relationship. talk to her. however you need to talk to her in a calm, kind, and rational way. dont explode and yell because that wont go over well. good luck!
2007-02-18 04:35:57 · answer #8 · answered by kaylee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you can go to her and let her know the more she volunteers you the less time you have to spend with her and your family.
2007-02-18 04:33:43 · answer #9 · answered by toyloy27 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋